Re: I had a big argument with future-in-laws
Perhaps he doesn't know what the issue was that you two were arguing over and perhaps he really doesn't care. Perhaps all he cares about is the way (i.e. the tone and the words) you fought with his son.
Perhaps in his relationship with his wife disagreements were not handled that way.
Perhaps he feels that you are acting outside the boundaries of a wife and he feels that this is not good for his son's future.
I could list a bunch more potential "perhaps".......
The point here is that you are dealing with a number of issues at play:
- Communication gap, perhaps in language and definitely in terms of physical distance.
- Generation gap. Times have changed from when our parents were engaged and now.
- Gap in upbringing. You may have grown up in a totally different family environment than he has. You may see the FIL as meddling and his position may be that he is peace-keeping.
- Missing opinions. Your fiance has not gotten involved or has decided that he wants you to resolve this yourself. He may just want you to establish your own relationship with his family. Who knows?
There are so many variables here.
Giving up at this stage and returning the ring will just match one person's (FIL's) insecurity for another person's (yours').
It would be the better thing to attempt to find a way through and make a place in FIL's heart for yourself. It really isn't as difficult as it appears.