I feel like im being forced to change, what shall i do>?

Lifestyle Relationships
81

Re: I feel like im being forced to change, what shall i do>?

form ur above post.

now u demonstrate even more narrow-mindedness.

Lol. This dudes a joke.

Not only u insulted me but other girls here.

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Re: I feel like im being forced to change, what shall i do>?

A rather offensive personal remark.
But out of mercy to your ignorance and misunderstandings it is forgiven.

And i havnt got time to teach u a relgious lecture yet as im getting late to go to the gym.
Im sorry yes there are 'Gorey' ladies there but i havnt got any where else to go.

What wud u say about this..Mr Relgious..? ( brain teaser).

83

Re: I feel like im being forced to change, what shall i do>?

I'm not that much religious. Bus zara si haya sharam abhi baqi hai goron main rahtay huway. Bus aap ki duain chahyay kay Allah ussay qaim rakhay.

I don't mind ppl accuse me of Pakistani. I makes me feel proud and happy. Neither do you word narrow minded which I'm not at all. so have fun in gym with gories lol.

History Mystery- Part 3
84

Re: I feel like im being forced to change, what shall i do>?

Nadz! Just a bit of advice...If someone forces you to do something, there will always be bitterness there, even if you do that thing it wont be for your happiness and the end result: you will resent him for 'making' you not wear short sleeves/jeans.

Wanting to wear short sleeves, or jeans first of all does NOT make you a tart/slapper or whatever else ppl say. Secondly, if someone does not accept you the way you are then to be honest it makes a girl feel like she is not fully loved and she has to change to live up to someone's expectations. I hate it when people tell me what to do, sorry if it sounds selfish...if he wanted a hijaabi niqaabi girl then why doesnt he go and find one. Once you compromise one thing, then the hijaab will be next, then it will be spending habits or what friends you can keep or not keep...slowly you won't be your own person anymore....

it's not a religious issue, It's a control thing. Define these things BEFORE you marry him. TALK to him and decide on these matters, if there are too many differences in the way you both wanna live your lives then leave it.....there's no point...you are too OLD to be moulded, your likes/dislikes/dressing/way of life has been moulded now...if he wants someone to mould then let him marry some 16 yr old who will dance at his every whim...sorry if you get offended, just my 2 cents.

85

Re: I feel like im being forced to change, what shall i do>?

I didn't say that you are like that.

Again Prophet SAWW asked ppl to follow Islam. Yes he did ask and told them to do and ppl did that that is how Islam spread not ppl like you who said Muhammad SAWW can't force me that to me as my parents don't say anything. See the difference that is what I'm telling you to understand. He asked it's upto you to follow or not.

But If he likes a hijabi and Islam following girl then it's very stupid decision of him that he chose you and want you to follow Islam. You could find the guy who would like you in your uncoverin botton dress. Didn't you say that he asked you to wear bottom covering dress. Excuse me doesn't that tell what kind of dress you be wearing so he has to tell you.

No one told my sister what and how to wear as she herself never ever ever ever ever had a dress which would show her bottom and neither used a tight dress even in her teen age. Ohhh yeah my mom never ever ever ever told her not to wear or what to wear she did all by herself.

I know it must hurt yeah Truth is hard to be engulfed. Ppl like you will get offended by words of truthfulness.

2500 posts: GS Café Flooder of the week challeng
86

Re: I feel like im being forced to change, what shall i do>?

Awww did I insulted you when and where. EWWWW did I say to you? No no way.

Neither did I insulte any single girls here as far as she doesn't show her bottom. LOL.

I don't even insult bottom revealing girls it's her marzi she will get danday on her bottom and asked was you given that to show to all lol. Nah it won't hurt me if they will be beaten at the bottom but it themselves. LOL

You know I'm so very narrow minded as I don't want to open goras eyes so wide opened looking at my bottom. lol

There is a big difference between narrow minded and open (lahaol wala quwatah illah billah ill aliul azeem) minded. EWWWW.

Karachi shut down again
Karachi shut down again
87

Re: I feel like im being forced to change, what shall i do>?

gr8 heera and amir=pindi, ENOUGH ALREADY!!!! (Haha, my one chance to use an americanism that fits!)

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Re: I feel like im being forced to change, what shall i do>?

This thread is becoming derailed. There are many girls who wear short sleeves....doesn't mean that they lead a shameless or loose lifestyle.

And everyone is different (thinks differently, acts differently). It's rude to compare someone to what their own sister thinks, does, or wears.

This thread is not about one's sister....it's about the poster and her issue. And everyone (sister, brother, stranger) will be judged separately before Allah.

It's best to guide a person (even a stubborn person) in a civilized and respectful manner. If one cannot guide in a decent way.....then it's best to stay quiet.

Aik baat.....ko ghaseet k extreme end par lay jaana is RIDICULOUS.

Not all girls who wear short sleeves are baysharam or prostitutes, or condone reckless open sex. That is a very extreme assumption. Believe it or not.....I've seen some hijbai girls who cover their hair and wear tight clothes.....and I've even seen some hijabi girls who cover their hair and wear sleeveless. I'm not saying all hijabis are like this.

But.....everyone is different.......and to jump to hasty and unfounded/false conclusions about someone's character just because they approve of wearing short sleeves.......is ABSURD.

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Re: I feel like im being forced to change, what shall i do>?

^ What? You don't use "Enough Already" in England? But it sounds simple and common enough though.

How about just "Enough"..???

Meh.....^ nowhere nearly as fun as saying "Bloody hell!" or "What rubbish" or "Bullocks" or "Piss off". LOL. LOL. LOL.

Dj Music
90

Re: I feel like im being forced to change, what shall i do>?

It's human nature that most people don't follow orders blindly. And there's nothing wrong with asking "why?" People don't learn if they dont' ask "why". We would not have made so many developments in medicine, technology and various areas if we didn't ask ourselves "why?"

Even ordinary people must have asked their Prophets, "why?"

When somebody asks a question........then they will get an explanation from that person. It's a process known as *HEALTHY COMMUNICATION! *

And, YES, I do know the various reasons for why arms should be covered...including from an Islamic perspective.

But keep in mind........that people can have different reasons for their expectations.

Someone might request you to cover arms for safety reasons....someone else might request you to cover arms for religious reasons.....

People have different reasons. I ONLY suggested her to ask her husband "WHY"........as a way of OPENING COMMUNICATION and STARTING a DISCUSSION PROCESS with him that could hopefully create understanding between them

And.........did you see some DREAM....that I belong to the medical profession?

I belong to the field of education.......where it is encouraged to look at things from various angles and to ask questions to gain knowledge.

Timepass - March 2013
91

Re: I feel like im being forced to change, what shall i do>?

I am a little confused. Is the argument about what you can wear or not wear a lifetime rule or just related to where you live? Jeans and kurtis in England are harmess as are half sleeves, however if you planning to live in Pakistan you will find yourself eventually wanting to cover up more and more as the staring become more and more annoying. (I went from wearing Jeans/kurti to a burqa by the end of my 3 years there!)

Can you guys come to a compromise like agreeing not to wear half sleeves and adorning the dupatta when in Pakistan but when you come to UK, you can revert to your traditional western clothes?

Islamically, until you are officially married, you are only required to obey your parents so he has no right to tell you what to do right now and hopefully this is just his expectations for after marriage.

May I just add that it seems that you rebelling somewhat and I think it is either because you are too used to being controlled by your parents and you are fed up of being controlled..OR...you have had a relatively easy life with nobody really telling you what to do upto now. (My apologies if my insinuations are wrong).

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Re: I feel like im being forced to change, what shall i do>?

.

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Re: I feel like im being forced to change, what shall i do>?

Yes I did read the entire contents of this thread but was still confused as I am not completely familiar with her background, some details of which must be on other posts.

I wasnt sure if hubby was setting expectations for after marriage when they move to Pakistan (when is that btw?) or he was expecting this from her even before marriage.

Also, I hope your last paragraph wasnt related to me as I dont think I have cast any aspersions on her character. However, if it was construed as such, I will apologize ..again!

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Re: I feel like im being forced to change, what shall i do>?

NOOOOOOO!!!! You haven't done anything wrong. Please don't think that. I could tell you were new to the thread and seemed confused....so I was filling you in.

I know you weren't casting judgment on the poster's character. I was just explaining why this thread might seem "confusing" to you....and it's because it got unnecessarily derailed. The "last paragraph" which I have deleted was not regarding you :)

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Re: I feel like im being forced to change, what shall i do>?

Great Heera, im sorry to say if it sounds bitter to you but the truth is you are an either utter idiot or brainless person.

*


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Great Heera i said you are narrow-minded person, because ur post degrades the thread-starter. You refer her to such a way like 'this type of girl who doesnt dress islamically' as if she dresses to the other extreme of islamic dressing that of immorally exposing body parts.

You portray that in your eyes the thread-poster is a non-islamic girl who does not deserve to be married too.
From the content of the problems decriptions given by the thread-starter and other members prior posts, it is quite apparent that the issues at hand isnt at the extreme to which you r comprehending.

A girl here is simply asserting here that she currently dresses in jeans and shirts (observing the main hijab aspect of body cover), on which her husband wants her to dress even more islamically.

You display an assault to the thread-starter as a girl who does not dress islamically, rather who dresses as 'gorey-nange-pangey-laug', so is a girl who is unworthy of being married by a decent muslim man.

If you dont call this kind-of attitude or extreme and narrow-minded what do you call it?.

Im am sure most members would agree.

Great-Heera let me tell you not to show off but in this relgious aspect I have more grounding than you and here, this girl concerned, (apart from the head-cover) has not broken ANY ISLAMIC DRESS CODE, so you have no basis to refer to her as an immoral or immodest muslim female.

And let me inform you the FULL concept of HIJAB, so you next time u think before assaulting another female who wears jeans and shirt.

Complete Hijab, besides the criteria of properly covering clothing, also includes the moral conduct, behaviour, attitude and intention of the individual.

A person only fulfilling the criteria of 'hijab' of the clothes is observing 'hijab' in a limited sense. 'Hijab' of the clothes should be accompanied by 'hijab' of the eyes, 'hijab' of the heart, 'hijab' of thought and 'hijab' of intention. It also includes the way a person walks, the way a person talks, the way he/she behaves etc.

A full islamic hijab is more than just covering yourself up.

You might get a lady who adopts the full hijab and hair cover, but it does not necceserily mean she equally observes the other aspcts.
My friend i know of many girls who observe full body cover and head, a girl who you would call an 'Islamic Girl' but who the same time are flirting, mingling, dating even going out and doing immoral behaviurs with opposite sex!

Or if not to this extreme, i know of girls who cover thier heads and bodies but at the same time are freely-mingling and laughing with boys, shaking hands with them and even huggin as forms of social gestures of hi and bye.

And I know at the same time girls who do not cover thier hair, or somtimes whos dont manage to cover thier forearms, but who r decent, limit thier interactions with oppostie sex, morally aware and dignified.

Now you tell me in Islams eyes who is the better girl?

So brother dont judge anybodies character on thier external apperance.
A brother who has beard, topi and izzar is not necceserily more islamic than a brother who has no beard, wears trousers and t-shirts.

A girl who observes hijab and head cover is not necceserily more islamic and orderly than the one who wears shalwaar-kamiz or shirts and jeans.

Yes we should inform people to the best of our knowledge when they ask for help, but there are correct and incorrect ways of doing so.

So Watch it next time bro.

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Re: I feel like im being forced to change, what shall i do>?

thanks amir and co......

and g8heera..are you telling me all hijabis and men with beards are good honest clean well behaved god-fearing islamic people......your appearance alone will not get you into heaven or make you a better person,. i know many hijabis who are utter sluts....sorry.....and many beared men who one used to work for a mosque, he turned out to be a peadophile... like they say dnt judje a book by its cover....and by the way you are a idiot...lol....haa couldnt resist.....open your mind......dress sense does not make you any better muslim than me...and god forbid you ever think your a better msulim than anyone else.

97

Re: I feel like im being forced to change, what shall i do>?

Hes an awkward guy...

Whats p...send me off is the way he was degrading you referring to you as 'this type of girl'..
as if you are an immoral or semi-naked type of dressing person.
Just because a girl wears jeans it means she is an indecent girl..? Get a life dude.

Actually i'll also say because you dont support an izzar and you dont have 3 foot long beard, your an indecent muslim man...you dont deserve to be married by a decent muslim girl.
Hows that sound?

Clearly the man has a limited understanding of the meaning of word 'hijab' and its application, has poor judgement, and on top of all that belives hes the one telling you 'the truth'.

Wht next. he'll start charging us?

Bhaiya sach aur perfect advise dena achi baat hai
But ye be make sure karna chiye ke jo mashura ap de re ho woh waqay mai sach aur sahi hai be ke nahi.

Bye

Iss thread pe koi nagey-pangey gorey type dressing lerki ya larke laug nai.
Ager hote toh main app se pehle hota line mai onke kilaf.

AAKAL se kaam loya karo.