I don't want to get married

Lifestyle Relationships
41

Re: I don't want to get married

get urself married and move to a far far away land from ur parents.. thats the only option..

42

so let me get this, dIL and MIL fight because its the man’s fault,
hmmmm
okay, makes complete sense :rolleyes:

43

Re: I don't want to get married

well if hes a mama's boy, then what do you expect.

Time Out
44

but men not!?

It’s only the woman who grows, makes experience, embraces life, learns from her mistakes and becomes a better human being. Yeah of course.

Shame / Emabarrassment
45

OKay dear, If anywhere in my post you saw that written out, let me know! Otherwise, I would refrain from drawing my own conclusions when they are so obviously WRONG!

Re-read my post and if it clicks this time, Ive done my job!

Wht r u doing ?
46

Very few men actually evolve into different people, accept change, progress, etc. Most just stay the same men they were at age 25...dont ask me why...I just deliver the message.

Women are far more progressive and thats why you hear men complaining all the time that "things changed".

haaN jii, yeh bataaiye k ''ataaii []" [ kise kahte haiN? :)
haaN jii, yeh bataaiye k ''ataaii []" [ kise kahte haiN? :)
47

Re: I don't want to get married

^

far more progressive going into hell:

This is why the numbers of women in hell we be far greater than the numbers of men, right?

and when you ask me who told me this?

it was our Prophet (saw), because women will be very "progressive"...Don't underestimate us men.

Who is delivering you this message to deliver it forward?

We are not like that. You are saying that ALL women are ANGELS and if bad things happen men have to be caught by their neck and tortured till he licks the feet of all women in this world to finally enter the Paradise.

Baaz aajao. Stop this nonsense. Stop this fighting.

48

Looking at the life1 statistics, I don’t think that’s true :hehe:

49

Wanna get married to a tree? (they do dat in Pakistan). I know this really nice tree ... v.successful, know it since chidlhood ... never fooled around with flowers around it ... v.fruitful too.

Kiya kehti ho? Baat shru keroon?

50

BAAZ AAJAO?!?!?!?!?! HOW OLD ARE YOU? 55?

:CareBear:

51

well dear...

In your post you have put a huge chunk of responsibility of sorting the issue on men. That is a cop out that ladies use, whether its the wives or the mothers.

My point is that the primarily the responsibility is of the MIL and DIl because oen would assume that they are rational grownups who know how to deal with people.

so lets not dance around the issue. Would you agree with the statement that the overwhelming bulk of responsibility (to avoid the conflict and to resolve the conflict) is on the women who get into the argument, and not either the husband or the FIL.

52

Re: I don’t want to get married

wedding is like an important ritual/tradition coming from thousandz of yearz and it iz important to get married and start and family life but it dependz on ur opinion,if girlz dont get married it doesnt seem right and 4 a boy idk… :k:

53

Re: I don’t want to get married

hehe while i think i am pretty immature to handle all this:D

:hmmm: i need time to grow up

54

Re: I don't want to get married

I am so glad I have successfully started a fight.

55

I agree that the two warring parties are definitely responsible for sorting out their own differences. But in the traditional and more common than not setting where the bahu is required to be obediant and docile, there is no room for such progressive discussion. It is considered battameezi to be that forward and upfront. In this case, what other choice does she have but to rely on her husband for support and comfort? Where else can she go when it comes to her in-laws?

56

its not just an issue of sorting out differences, but not letting issues develop in the first place. it appears that ppl let too many small things get to them. it becomes an ego issue.

if it is an orthodox, stuck in 1800s type of joint family, where the bahu is not expected to talk, then yes, she relies on her husband for support and comfort and he has to try and make sure that his family's lack of progress does not impact the emotional and mental health of his wife, This does not mean though that the wife abandons her responsibility to learn how to deal with people, and to pick which battles to fight.

sadly, I have seen and heard about the same arguments take place among educated ladies, girls who have professional lives and deal with clients, associated, students, govts etc, but when it comes to home life, all the skills abilities that work in professional life go out the window.

aside from the suppression you talk about in orthodox old fashioned families towards bahus, in many cases such sort of families usually marry within similar families and those girls ae never equipped to deal with others, the level of maturity, ability to deal with conflict etc is low to begin with. and I can see in those cases an uneducated immature saas, an immature bahu..thats a recipe of conflict right there

57

You have no idea. :no:

58

I say, women ought to get a job (outside of their home).. this way they’ll have no time to think about such DIL/MIL issues that do their head in…

In regards to relying on hubby for support when the in-laws are out to get her, I think thats sparking more fireworks… Getting your hubby to fight against ur MIL is a bad bad move… HE’s prob already so frustrated with you two not getting along, to have an extra burden of trying to resolve it, will just cause chaos..

I say, go out to the shops.. get urself something nice… dont think about lil things and it’ll all be ok :k:

59

look, you can't even answer...are you laughing about yourself? I thought you are progressive...

60

Re: I don't want to get married

Shaadi mat karo! Larkaun ke kame nahin hai duniya main.