Re: I don't want my kids growing up in Pakistan...
Ok...so..my question was more about effects on child's personality that parents wouldn't want........like more about societal issues etc.......we all know about loadshedding/security and the fact that pakistan is a hell-hole......
Re: I don't want my kids growing up in Pakistan...
Ok...so..my question was more about effects on child's personality that parents wouldn't want........like more about societal issues etc.......we all know about loadshedding/security and the fact that pakistan is a hell-hole......
Well I gave one, namely that University aged 'children' are still immature. Of course, parental upbringing is important but it's difficult to swim against the tide.
It seems anyone with money sends their kids abroad for University education, so what's the point?
Here, by the time you start Uni, you considered an adult and responsible for yourself. No one is gonna wipe your nose or spoon feed you. I'm dependent on my parents in other ways, yeh, but since that age have been financially independent and I think there's a lot to be said for that in terms of the kind of person it makes you.
Re: I don't want my kids growing up in Pakistan...
Ok...so..my question was more about effects on child's personality that parents wouldn't want........like more about societal issues etc.......we all know about loadshedding/security and the fact that pakistan is a hell-hole......
Everything starts from security , if I cannot have that for my kids , why would I consider any further than that ?
Re: I don't want my kids growing up in Pakistan...
Hehe...I DO want my kids to grow up in Pakistan. :)
I have moved back to Pakistan with my kids after living about for a decade in Europe n UK.
My reasons for moving back might not go down well with some/many of you, but we did what we thought was in our best interest. I'm in Pak for past 3 years. When we moved here in 2008, newspapers daily reported bombings here and there. I practically witnessed Islamabad tuning into a war zone...barricades n sand bags appearing on each arterial road ....the last blast here was so close to our place that it really shattered our window panes. Electricity crisis, gas crisis n now fuel crisis (petrol etc.) you name it.
BUT
I still think the decision was worth it. While we didn't have these problems in west, there were a lot many other problems we faced every now n then...racism/discrimination being one of the top most! There was a constant struggle to avoid haram. I'm aware that things are somewhat easier for muslims living in UK or North America but not as easy in, say Berlin or Amsterdam. I'm aware that Hareem is home schooling her children, which is so very brave of her but this isn't an option the government allows in Berlin. Thanks to a really big number of muslims in UK/US, you guys have a basic infrastructure for those who want islamic education but that isn't the case where we lived.
I never wanted to move back while my husband is still working there but you might think of the magnitude of problems we faced that we had to decide to live seperately for our children. He is still working there but runs back home as soon as he gets some time. He makes it a point to be here on all important events from the school's annual day to both eids. It's hard to live in Pakistan without a male but Alhamdulillah, Allah helped me so much that I have been able to do this without any major problem.
For the longest i couldn't send my children to the near by mosque for praying in congregation. I was afraid of blasts, kidnappings and all that. But recently Allah mian helped me be brave and i made them memorise duas for safety (aafiyat) and now Alhamdulillah I'm so glad that they are praying in congregation 5 times a day. I can't ever be thankful enough to Almighty Allah who has given us the opportunity and resources to help our children memorise the Holy Book. By the grace of Allah, I've resumed my studies while all four of my children are going to school.
The only trouble now is that we miss the head of our family; my hubby but I'm sure Allah miaN knows this and He won't test our patience for long.
I won't bash east or west, nor would I be hell bent on my theories. I know everyone has his/her own circumstances. I just pray whatever each of us has decided for ourselves, it remains in our best interest. There is no place in the world where you won't face any problem. So it all boils down to one's priorities and personal choices.
Just my 2 paisas :)
PS..Hareem rightly said, we don't really have many libraries here, something I miss...but Alhamdulillah with the passage of time we have collected a wealth of books for our home library :)
Re: I don't want my kids growing up in Pakistan...
Why wouldn't I live in Pakistan or raise my children there? I have two major reasons, not that they're the only reasons:
I don't want my children to think that this is normative behaviour. I want them to feel secure, value human life, abhor violence, strive to be better humans and to work and earn what they have, as opposed to be being raised with a sense of entitlement or hopelessness.
Re: I don't want my kids growing up in Pakistan...
*What exactly are your fears about it?
*
That my child will not be able to express him/herself in a unique way. There is so much judgment within the schools and people that if you stand out for any other reason than education, than you're weird. For example if you want to have a mohawk or is into metal music (just saying), my child will only be made fun of, if he or she is into playing a musical instrument or really good at art there is only so much they can do to express their passion, because there isn't enough emphasis on creativity from within.
Also I think it's tough to raise and develop a sense of equality between your son and daughter. There are too many barriers holding women back, and I, in my POV think Pakistani society is more unjust to women than the US. And I don't want that implanted in my son's or daughter's mind.
**How do you think they will turn out and what negative impact would that have on their moral,religious values?
**Living in Pakistan will not have a negative impact on the children's religious values, however, there is something about trying to be a better Muslim in the US rather than Pakistan, which I don't want them to miss out. It's like you get to see two completely different worlds, and you on your own must decide how your religion fits. Some completely go astray, because that's the easy thing to do. But for some the "challenge" of being a Muslim in a non-Muslim country, is what brings them closer to their religion and are able to balance the two worlds.
I'm not sure how many people actually go through this, but I did, and I don't want my kids to miss out on it. Like take the Aazan for granted in Pakistan as a signal to pray, but in the US it's up to you to find the Namaaz timing and motivate yourself to pray. Or Ramadan in Pakistan where everybody is fasting, but in the US, most likely you'll be the only one in your class fasting and everyone will be asking you questions. Or the choice to start hijab, all on your own because you did research and are willing to stand out in any crowed as a Muslim. I think these moments are crucial to strength your Deen and pride as a Muslim. And the fact one does it on their own is even better because you worked for it, it wasn't cultural norm.
Re: I don’t want my kids growing up in Pakistan…
You answered your comment yourself. Dont tell me that these things do not happen in west? In fact there is more chance of that happening in west than in pakistan. Yes things can get really nasty here in mummy daddy schools but when these schools stay much better than public schools I have seen in UK.
Re: I don't want my kids growing up in Pakistan...
Living in the west has as many pros and cons as living in the motherland.
Re: I don't want my kids growing up in Pakistan...
I would want my kids to grow up in Pakistan!! as for security and all other reasons .. then honestly speaking ... wow tu kaheen bhi nahi hai ajj kal ... sadly, these things are happening pretty much in every muslim country ... and I cant even think abt raising my kids in a non muslim environment!!
I will settle down in Pakistan and inshaAllah I will raise my kids to become responsible citizens of Pakistan!!
most people dont want to go back is cuz of security reasons ... if Pakistan wasnt in bad shape!! im sure pretty much everyone would want to raise their kids in Pakistan!!
Re: I don't want my kids growing up in Pakistan...
Think it in a positive way , this provides a chance to those boys and girls for a better life than the one they already have . Those boys and girls who marry overseas Pakistanis do it willingly otherwise who would in their right mind will be willing to leave their parents , friends and a country and go live in strange place where they know nobody and have to start to build their lives from scratch.
Same goes for those who left the country and chose to go live abroad.
Uh huh, i don't think so! You may think of it as a better life, i don't think so and yes i have experienced living abroad too so i am not just saying without any thought and experience to it. I guess in the end it boils down to the individual's preferences. I am a firm believer that you can't and shouldn't run away from your responsibilities, its our own people our forefathers who messed up this country and if we keep running away to other countries for a safer life, who will take care of our country? Why do we complain that so n so is happening in our country but never aim to do something to rectify it?
Re: I don't want my kids growing up in Pakistan...
Why do we complain that so n so is happening in our country but never aim to do something to rectify it?
Yeah why don't you do something so that we can come back and take part in this naik kaam , you start it I will finish it. Pakka wa'da.
Re: I don't want my kids growing up in Pakistan...
hmm .. I think one can live in any country and feel at home ... and work for the betterment of society. There is nothing wrong in migrating and taking your faith along. One can be a citizen of the world, not one particular country.
But I guess its natural to love your birth place more than other places.
Re: I don’t want my kids growing up in Pakistan…
This is why. No value of human life.
Re: I don’t want my kids growing up in Pakistan…
how does that affect your children’s life??..
P.S…The person who reported is a complete retard…the headline says 12 year old…and the text says 14 year old :nahi:
Re: I don't want my kids growing up in Pakistan...
heat/load-shedding is caused by injustice.
Yes indeed .... Load shedding in Pakistan is due to the Corruption/mismanagement and in the end it leads towards social injustice as Government offices , President house , PM house , CM house . Governor house , All political HQs , GHQ , never suffer the dilemma known as heat or load shedding ...
In their chilled AC rooms and Vehicles , Pakistan looks like a Paradise ...
Hope this will suffice ... Now Stoppit can go back , Unlike your post and mark mine as liked :)
Re: I don’t want my kids growing up in Pakistan…
Sick!
But do similiar incidents not happen abroad too? :bummer: forgot wat noami (or was it tyra banks?) did with her maid? and they r supposively the “aware” and “learned” people.
Re: I don’t want my kids growing up in Pakistan…
And in the line of the Topic … No I dont want my kids to be growing in Pakistan … I am just here on my long due freaking Vacations 
Re: I don’t want my kids growing up in Pakistan…
I totally agree with you. They do happen in US too, but somehow the leal system acts promptly. My concern is not inhuman behaviors but the fact that no one cares when ghareeb aadmi dies in pakistan. Its not the awaam, I am talking about the system.
Re: I don't want my kids growing up in Pakistan...
I totally agree with you. They do happen in US too, but somehow the leal system acts promptly. My concern is not inhuman behaviors but the fact that no one cares when ghareeb aadmi dies in pakistan. Its not the awaam, I am talking about the system.
And i agree with you that its our system that needs to change but who will do it? If you, me and everyone like us who understands the lack of justice and equality in the system, keep running to other countries who will bring the change?
Re: I don't want my kids growing up in Pakistan...
And i agree with you that its our system that needs to change but who will do it? If you, me and everyone like us who understands the lack of justice and equality in the system, keep running to other countries who will bring the change?
Running to another country is not a bad thing Zareen. When Nawaz Shareef started his "Qarz Utaaror" therek, the same bhagoray pakistanis sent back more than $50 mill dollars. These Pakistanis who are sitting outside Pakistan can and do contribute a lot in the betterment of our country.