Write out the stuff you have written here in a paper and stick it in a obvious place.
Nipped out and go to your parents house in someway or another, tell them you are coming for a visit only.
Tell him to be responsible of the child/nutrients and a pregnant wife
Cut down on cigars to save money for food/doctors or else you will have to tell everything to his parents as that's the only way ... because things will get worse after the child is out and he is still the same ....
for me this is unbelieable...u r saying him loving,,,huh? plz i just want to let u know whatever u r doing is going to harm ur kid it is ur first one isliye u dontnknow but tell u the truth u will regret ,,,u dont know god forbid if there willbe some issues in the future ..you have to suffer ur whole life .. u seem still very young to me... that why u r not thinking and seeing a future from te keen eye...plz EAT properly.... ur baby is growing he needs zll the nutrients to grow his part. s ..cigs r not good for babys lung allah na kare but lungs can be weak ... im so sorry being little harsh but.. i want u to show u the reality.... plz.. eat properly drinkmilk eat lots of protein...like haleem kind of stuff...
and na,e calling.. just want u to read mental abuse or physcological abuse u will see it is inappropiate.. and changing after baby bornn... hahaa that is too funny tell u little sis natures dont change he was lke this he is and he will be i m not saying i m a experiencedwoman...plz i m sorry if u dont like anything....but plz do consider someof this
for me this is unbelieable...u r saying him loving,,,huh? plz i just want to let u know whatever u r doing is going to harm ur kid it is ur first one isliye u dontnknow but tell u the truth u will regret ,,,u dont know god forbid if there willbe some issues in the future ..you have to suffer ur whole life .. u seem still very young to me... that why u r not thinking and seeing a future from te keen eye...plz EAT properly.... ur baby is growing he needs zll the nutrients to grow his part. s ..cigs r not good for babys lung allah na kare but lungs can be weak ... im so sorry being little harsh but.. i want u to show u the reality.... plz.. eat properly drinkmilk eat lots of protein...like haleem kind of stuff...
OP: You as the mother has to fulfil your responsibilities irrespective of whether your husband does or not.
You have to figure out some way to get him to spend more on you and your baby, rather then that addiction he has. If that means telling his parents the truth then so be it. Goodness cry your heart out to them, tell them you're hungry, broke and locked up while their son is out having a smoke! Tell them EVERYTHING, maybe that'll put a bit of ghairat in him (iA)
And please, please dont starve for the entire day until dinner time. Every time you feel "guilty" eating the little food there is during the day, remind yourself its not just for you, its for your baby. Mothers are allowed to be as selfish (read protective) as they want when it comes to their babies. If your husband complains that there is no dinner, tell him that you had to eat during the day, rub it into his face that its because HE wanted the baby so no he has to put up with the adjustments you two have to make... also, that you weren't allowed to go out to buy anything to cook (under his orders) and this is assuming he left any money for you to buy stuff with.
Perhaps you could get a job? maybe not one in your field but even a low paying job might be enough to feed you better/ afford medication, etc.
As for the other issues you mentioned, and as disgusting as it is that he swears at your mum, i'd leave them be for now. Right now your priority should be your health and that of the baby.
You know waht? I don't understand how any woman can put someone else's comforts/needs above the well being and safety of her own baby's, esp for those of a jerk who doesn't care about his wife and future child.
I honestly can't have an ounce of sympathy for someone who lacks any common sense and sense of protectiveness for her own child...esp when the mother's acting like a bahu out of a garbage paki/indian drama.
Hey come on I was writing from stupid tablet... :) give me a break I think u have a habit of finding negative things rather than understanding the lines:)
Erm without sounding too harsh if the guy isn't bothered you are hungry and carrying his child what makes you think he will 'change' when said baby is born?
With all due respect lady, this isn't the time to be playing the bahu in the dramas and sacrificing things-food is NEEDED for both of you. I'm pregnant and MashAllah I have a husband who is able to provide thus I'm happy to have his baby. But if he was acting like a turd I'd be wondering why I was putting myself under such strain to have a baby with him.
Just saying.
If you are desperate for food in the UK we have food banks but you need to understand they are under a lot of strain so you may not be classed as a high priority.
You should speak to your Midwife too; not sure if she can advise but at least she can give you info on vitamins and what you maybe entitled too.
Do you live near an Aldi store? They do great fruit and veg at special prices every week.
You need to sit down with that husband of yours and SORT OUT A FOOD BUDGET and work with it!
OP: You as the mother has to fulfil your responsibilities irrespective of whether your husband does or not.
Perhaps you could get a job? maybe not one in your field but even a low paying job might be enough to feed you better/ afford medication, etc.
As a parent OP needs to grow a pair and make major adjustments-PROMPTO! Like yesterday or before she found out she was pregnant!
People on low income in the UK can apply for exemption for the cost of prescriptions making their medication free. I suggest OP considers this. You need to provide evidence of low income. Dental treatment is also free during a pregnancy up until your baby turns one.
You're pregnant and starving all day? He calls you kutti? He calls your mother kutti? He doesn't let you step out of the house? He smokes around you knowing you're pregnant? He would rather buy cigarettes than food for the home? What part of this man was loving? I seem to have missed it.
That's the bit where you have to apply your imagination Reha! I tried and my head hurts.
So many responses! I am currently usin an app from my iPhone and tired! Will try to get back to u all as soon as I can!
My references to financial struggling did not mean to imply that I am that poor like a beggar. Yes I am aware of all medical expenses nd exemptions! Of course I am registered to a gp n midwife. When I say I am starving, I mean to say there is not enough variety at home and when grocery do comes which is after long gap, I run out of snacks quickly! My husband buys necessities like bread or egg if we run out of it from local convenience store that's near his work and of course pack of cig. What I am saying here... More priority to cigs than home food/fruit or shop groceries on time!
Hey come on I was writing from stupid tablet... :) give me a break I think u have a habit of finding negative things rather than understanding the lines:)
So am I. It's harder to write because as cuz or cz on a tablet because of autocorrect so let's not use that excuse. But you're right maybe I should have a more positive outlook and stop calling out BS when I see it.
With such a man you can't improve things. Its best to get a divorce. Someone who does not respect you or your family is not worth your time or the relationship.
There are so many inconsistencies in this whole drama.
Let us analyse this logically
1) DQ claims that the snacks run out because her husband is buying cigs.
2) Imagine that he smokes around 20 cigs in a day which I would say is a little on the higher side
3) That would cost around $ 5 if my memory is correct
4) I really do not understand if $5 is enough for the snacks
5) She claims that she is put under lock and key. Yet when she wants she goes out to buy vegetables and the like
6) Has an i-phone with a data plan
7) Husband literally calls her a b***** and she has not qualms about it
8) She then further adds that her husband is loving..(A so called idiot who smokes in front of his pregnant wife)
I think there is some strong imagination at work and we should let it be...
That said if this is still true, I think it is time to pack the bags and say good-bye to the looser. Tell your parents and they would be supportive. There is no point in continuing with this relationship
So many responses! I am currently usin an app from my iPhone and tired! Will try to get back to u all as soon as I can!
My references to financial struggling did not mean to imply that I am that*** poor like a beggar*. Yes I am aware of all medical expenses nd exemptions! Of course I am registered to a gp n midwife. When I say I am starving,* I mean to say there is not enough variety at home and when grocery do comes which is after long gap, I run out of snacks quickly!*** My husband buys necessities like bread or egg if we run out of it from local convenience store that's near his work and of course pack of cig. **What I am saying here... More priority to cigs than home food/fruit or shop groceries on time! **
... Will write more once am on laptop
I really hope you never have to be poor like a beggar however YOU are the one on here venting so thus you will get responses.
Local stores/corner shops etc are generally OVER PRICED. It's what you pay for having them on your door steP. Seriously you need to get to a Superstore. I'm talking Aldi, Asda, Tesco, Sainsburys etc-with a list of EVERYTHING you need for X amount of days so you don't run out!
And to be honest husbands like yours who prioritise cigerettes, gambling, alcohol etc over their FAMILY get under the skin of MEN and WOMEN alike so unless you are willing to take the advice of those who are on here giving you their time I'd say it's time to lock this thread as you just seem to want to vent but don't want to look at the whole situation at hand.
There is more than meets the eye to you lady; either you are a troll or you are in denial about your situation.
You say you cannot leave the home
Your husband is disrespectful about your Mother and calls you by names which let's face it are not lovable
your husband prefers to prioritise his own non-compulsary items over fruit for his pregnant wife
he doesn't seem to be doing the food shoppin on time either
he clearly has financial issues that you feel the money towards his cigerettes could be better spent
Now I said it again lady; these problems need fixing. It's not a case of us reading too much into your thread; it's a case of someone in denial.
