Re: I don't know what to do..
Well...my fiance sometimes calls me animal names too like billi or monkey...but calling kutti, I would feel awkward with that!
Re: I don't know what to do..
Isn't it khota for guys right? .
Yes, that's right. But you should still call him khoti. It's definitely cuter and it will irritate him more.
Besides he calls you bandar and not bandariya, so it's all good.
Re: I don't know what to do..
Wallah! If my husband would ever dare to call me Kutti. I will surely call him "KUTTA" in return.
Why should I change the whole animal? I will rather change the Gender.
I don't know what to do..
Take care of yourself. it can't be good for the baby that you are starving yourself.
Re: I don't know what to do..
I guess he does have aggressive style and has his own way of loving. like I said earlier he likes to call me bandar.. But I want him to stop calling my family names and stop smoking to begin with!
Well...my fiance sometimes calls me animal names too like billi or monkey...but calling kutti, I would feel awkward with that!
what is wrong with you women? How do you possibly see any "loving" in these kind of men? Because sometimes they call you stupid names with a smiley face, amongst the other things you've posted?
He sounds like he's a step away from becoming a wife beater.
OP if your parents are useless, try telling his?
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dear me! well if he wants kids so badly does he nott know that u need to be fed properly as well ok not eating for 2 but fruit is something that u must have....
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ohman.. hang in there girly.
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I guess he also calls me bandar now days... i guess he likes calling me animal names? before marriage he was very loving but i dont know what happened after wedding. i guess I still feel I can change him for the better or he becomes better when his child is out.
Um, that would be an idealistic view of seeing things. Very sweet but completely impractical.
Start looking for ways to become a bit more financially independent.
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why do so many women live on in the belief that a man will become better once he's had a kid?
where does this idea come from?
Re: I don’t know what to do..
How can u be so normal with him after what he says to ur mum, how dare he? I’m sorry but that is below someone being illmannered and illeterate, I wud’ve slapped him so hard if I was u, How can someone call my mum **** on my face and I don’t show him what he or she actually himself is..so disgusted 
Re: I don't know what to do..
why do so many women live on in the belief that a man will become better once he's had a kid? where does this idea come from?
I was asking myself something very similar when I read OPs post. Forget that he will become better after the child, I mean she's starving herself and her child which she should be prioritising over her husband!!
Personally I'm fed up with the stupid dramas where the bahu goes through turmoil after turmoil and then wins everyone's hearts after the 12874645374654745464747th episode!
OP, your husband is a jerk. Look after yourself and your child, and become financially independent.
Re: I don't know what to do..
Oh I don't know.. If you're okay with him calling you and your mom a kutti, then I think him smoking shouldn't bother you too.
any waysss...
Re: I don't know what to do..
what is wrong with you women? How do you possibly see any "loving" in these kind of men? Because sometimes they call you stupid names with a smiley face, amongst the other things you've posted?
He sounds like he's a step away from becoming a wife beater.
He rarely says any of those on texts, mostly on calls so I hear what and how he says and it not in a rude way, I mean he calls billi in a really cute manner its not aggressive or name calling attitude at all, and monkey he calls me in a teasing/joking way and still I take it back on him by saying that your kids will be monkeys then. He doesn't push it more than that and never ever calls me names even if we fight Alhamdulillah, so you can say it's in my comfort level, and maybe if I did mind it and told him he wouldn't call me any of those anymore. What I was saying was that these are still OK, but calling "kutti" is not at all ok even if its a joke or a tease. I mean its just plain rude
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^^ Agree w/ Hadeel.
My husband has never called me a kutti etc ever , or ever called my parents names. If he did, I would not take it lightly.
Please do not kid yourself that your husband's behaviour will change. I feel so sorry for you, your husband and the poor child that will be coming into your drama. Is the child going to be called another version of 'kutta/'kutti'?
What is wrong with him? Yes, he is your husband, but please do not defend his actions. You posted here for a reason.
Re: I don't know what to do..
Hi all
I have a dilemma and I don't know what to do! Maybe it's because of pregnancy or hormones but advise will be helpful!
I've have been married nearly six months n live in UK with my hubby. My parental family lives around five hours drive from me and my in laws are back in pk. I don't visit my parents a lot n they hardly come regulary. Anyways to the problem we are struggling financially. I have told my hubby that I want to wait until we are stable but he said Allah will provide for us. We will get more barkat..
He smokes a lot! Cigarettes in front of me knowing That I can't stand the smell! I puke everytime I am near him because the smell is everywhere! I have told him alots of time how its harmful for him, me n the baby. But still he doesn't pay a heed! He said he will stop soon! But never does! He got caught last we were in pk n his mom made him promise not to smoke but as soon we were in Dubai airport, he smoked! Cigarettes are expensive n we can save a lot but no! He doesn't even do grocery on time! I don't have a lots of fruits to eat at home! He gives cigarettes more priority than home food or grocerry! Btw, we do grocery online. All he has to do is pay but no cigarettes are his priority!
I literally starve most of the day because there is nothing to eat! No fruits etc! I do my best to hv milk everyday n dinner with him.
He doesn't tell his parents this! They are well off in pk n retired, living fro various property rents they own! I can't tell my parents this either because I don't want them to worry as they have far lot worries in their lives.
My hubby doesn't respect my patents or family! My family respects him n every time we meet or go there to live, they take care of him n even take him to outings like restaurant n pay for the food! They even give him gifts but he still complains to me that it's not big enough like mac that he wanted desperately! Why not tell his parents to buy it for him! My parents are still working n we are three sis! They don't have son! They think him of like a son they never had... I'm the eldest n only one married. It hurts me a lot! My mum calls me everyday to speakk to me n ask about health etc.. What he says whenever he comes back from work "tumhari kutti maa ka phone nae aaya?" ... I mean is this the way to talk? He has no manners!! I never speak ill of his family!
He even calls me kutti because of his love for dogs! Yes he hugs me n kisses me but callin me that nick? He knows I don't like it!
I have no one to speak to where I live. No friends or family I know of! My hubby expects me to be home all the time! I can't go out or step out of a door because he takes keys with him! I get lonely n bored!
I wouldn't say my hubby is bad but there are things that I don't like of him! He's nice, lovin but then there are other things too...
Oh n my inlaws haven't told anyone in their family that their first son is going to be a dad soon! The only son who can provide them with grand kids! What the hell? They want me to b pregnant etc then why not spread the joy?
How can I improve things? Even though I am pregnant I am still hunting for jobs where I can earn some cash! But because we live in such area where there are hardly jobs for graduates!
I think that's it for now ...
I think you need to take things step by step. This calling kutta, kutti, billi, bandar etc is not as important as your health and the baby's for now. Firstly, how far along are u, i believe...first trimester according to your symptoms. This cigarette smoke all around you is extremely dangerous for your babys health. Are you going for your regular checkups to your ob/gyn and are you taking any multi vitamins? Are there any women/infant charity programs that help out low income families that provide food stamps you could sign up for and get free groceries? If you are going in for regular checkups to your ob/gyn, discuss this with him/her and maybe she might be able to guide you where to get food stamps and all. You need to make your diet top priority over everything and try to stay away from all that smoke, perhaps move in with your parents for now or ask your mom/sister to help you out somehow. I dont want to scare you but babys first 3 months of development are the most vital when all organ systems are forming and start functioning and you need to take very good care of yourself specially at this time.
Re: I don't know what to do..
I think you need to take things step by step. This calling kutta, kutti, billi, bandar etc is not as important as your health and the baby's for now. Firstly, how far along are u, i believe...first trimester according to your symptoms. This cigarette smoke all around you is extremely dangerous for your babys health. Are you going for your regular checkups to your ob/gyn and are you taking any multi vitamins? Are there any women/infant charity programs that help out low income families that provide food stamps you could sign up for and get free groceries? If you are going in for regular checkups to your ob/gyn, discuss this with him/her and maybe she might be able to guide you where to get food stamps and all. You need to make your diet top priority over everything and try to stay away from all that smoke, perhaps move in with your parents for now or ask your mom/sister to help you out somehow. I dont want to scare you but babys first 3 months of development are the most vital when all organ systems are forming and start functioning and you need to take very good care of yourself specially at this time.
She's right.
Maybe you can see if there are any options for low income families?
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I don't know about WIC , or food stamp programs in the UK...
Have you been to see a Dr. yet? Are you registered with a GP? If not, then you also need to do that. You should get vitamins, prenatal care from there and luckily that is free.
Guppans in the UK can offer better advice for prenatal care and resources available in the UK.
Re: I don't know what to do..
I guess he also calls me bandar now days... i guess he likes calling me animal names? before marriage he was very loving but i dont know what happened after wedding*. i guess I still feel I can change him for the better or he becomes better when his child is out.*
What a silly thing to say. You cant change someone. And having someone's child will not change them either. He knows this child is inside you, yet makes no effort to feed you (hence the child). I would tell your parents. Dont wait till things get worse. Not so that they actually do something, you can tell them not to interfere for now..but need to know in case you urgently need something from them once.
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ANd stop starving yourself during the day. EAT; its not just you, its the baby too. If he comes home and there is no food, well there is no food for HIM. Tell him to have a cigarette instead.
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You should eat as much as you wan't, don't starve yourself. If there isn't enough food left for your husband then all the more reason for him to get more groceries. And I think you mentioned that your husband locks the door and leaves for work (I could have misunderstood that part), but if that is the case, then what will you do in case theres a fire or something? You need to think about your safety and the baby's safety as well.