Re: I Am trying to understand the psychology here
^ Agree.
Tell her the background reason why you proposed, and ask her why she is behaving like this. For some reason I want you to end up marrying her and live happily ever after.
@RV - thanks for the info.
Re: I Am trying to understand the psychology here
Like I said don't listen to women. She is being a *****. You are not interested. Why do you need to talk to her? Not everybody is worth it. Talking to her about it will just increase her ego. Don't do it.
Re: I Am trying to understand the psychology here
Jaanaan,
You said this girl is approaching 30 and that it's tough to for Pashtoon girls to find a match within their own community as they grow older.
I agree that this girl is behaving very immaturely and obnoxiously to say the least. She deserves to be ignored for the mind games that she's playing.
It is also possible that she's playing hard to get and wants your attention without appearing desperate. Jaanaan, if you're still even the slightest bit interested in this girl.....then don't be too harsh with her.
If you still like her a little bit....then don't ignore her completely. At the same time, don't try too hard to get her attention either. Just be pleasant and friendly but don't make her the center of your world. By being pleasant and friendly.....if she's interested in you....she might make an effort to respond to your friendly comments. And in such an event....make the effort to respond to her in a plesant/classmate way. Gradually....if a relationship develops........then who knows...........you and her might even become a couple.
But if you're not interested in her at all.....then let it go completely.
Like I said don't listen to women. She is being a *****. You are not interested. Why do you need to talk to her? Not everybody is worth it. Talking to her about it will just increase her ego. Don't do it.
Listen CM, I know this male pride thing is very important to you, and I thought previous your advice regarding this lady was very good, however, thinking about this lady's background, there may be more to this behaviour than we thought.
So Jaanaan, listen to us girls, give the girl a chance to explain her side of the story, lag sabr kawa, pata na lagi rusta sa keghi?
No girl has the right to belittle u or make u feel the way u're feeling right now. I wouldn't want to be anyone's second choice.. if she rejected u and moved-on and got rejected by whoever she was seeing..then it's best for u to move on as well.
It would be better than hearing for life what she did for u.. don't be too nice, just be nice enuff :)
Re: I Am trying to understand the psychology here
^ Yes, but do we know what happened to her for sure? We don't, so one must get the truth straight from the horses mouth.
How can we be sure she'll be honest and isn't trying to win jaanan back..since she's approaching her 30's.. whatever happens I hope it's best for jaanan.
Listen CM, I know this male pride thing is very important to you, and I thought previous your advice regarding this lady was very good, however, thinking about this lady's background, there may be more to this behaviour than we thought.
So Jaanaan, listen to us girls, give the girl a chance to explain her side of the story, lag sabr kawa, pata na lagi rusta sa keghi?
Not an issue of male pride. An issue of very bad advice. A simple question, why should he bother to learn more? He is not a member of the family, he is not her husband or boyfriend. Why should he tell her the background of his proposal. Why does he owe her this explanation for the lack of a better expression?
No offense intended by the question was asked by Janaan for advice. You do him an intellectual dis-service by assuming anything beyond what he told you and offering him advice that will make the situation far more complicated. He appears to be a very decent guy who did the right thing. The girl is being unreasonable. Yet you are telling him to look out for her feelings and her concerns, why?
He has no cultural, social or moral responsibility to do so.
Not an issue of male pride. An issue of very bad advice. A simple question, why should he bother to learn more? He is not a member of the family, he is not her husband or boyfriend. Why should he tell her the background of his proposal. Why does he owe her this explanation for the lack of a better expression?
No offense intended by the question was asked by Janaan for advice. You do him an intellectual dis-service by assuming anything beyond what he told you and offering him advice that will make the situation far more complicated. He appears to be a very decent guy who did the right thing. The girl is being unreasonable. Yet you are telling him to look out for her feelings and her concerns, why?
He has no cultural, social or moral responsibility to do so.
Bcos her actions could have been caused by a multitude of reasons and there is a chance that she may in the end actually be his ideal woman, who knows?
I agree, by talking to the girl and giving and asking for extra info, it MAY complicate matters, but theres every possibility that it may indeed CLEAR matters up. This jaanaan and this girl could find out that actually they are ideally suited for eachother AFTER ALL.
Re: I Am trying to understand the psychology here
Again why should he bother? There are multitude of possibilities, including the fact that she did not reject him or some other crazy idea. But why is it his responsibility to clear the air?
Re: I Am trying to understand the psychology here
sigh He has no such responsibility just because of his gender. Time for the woman to deal with the consequences of her actions. He is not responsible for her or her moods. That only happens after marriage and within reason.
Re: I Am trying to understand the psychology here
the original poster has moved on …but you all are still dispensing advice:hehe:
Re: I Am trying to understand the psychology here
I can't help it, I want this to have a happy ending...
Where has he moved onto anyway?
Re: I Am trying to understand the psychology here
^ For heaven's sake RH, you lot are making it totally star plus, your advice is going to add nothing but complication to the guy's life. CM is absolutely right.
Re: I Am trying to understand the psychology here
Jaanwar, you are really are being a grouch. Where is your sense of optimism???
thanks all for the advice.
actually i think this whole indifference thing is working in my favor. maybe i am wrong but there are some other friends of mine who have been telling me the same. right now i am tired. but i will write more about the latest developments in some later time. for now i think this indifference thing is getting better.
^ There u go! The opposite of love *is *indifference!:halo:
Re: I Am trying to understand the psychology here
If you learn anything on this god forsaken website - learn this.
Do not ask women advice about other women Get a guy to bail you out.
You’ve been watching desperate housewives!