ok, so i proposed a girl. i went about it through a mutual friend and i also asked her myself. she said no to me. and told our mutual friend the reason that she has had a recent mangni break up and she was considering any proposals at the moment.
I was fine with it. i thought maybe she liked someone else because she hangs out with a couple of people. and maybe she likes the other guy in the group. that was not the problem.
the problem is that she has been *****ing about about me ever since. she has been making sneering comments about me.
we are in a training program and in the same class. so whenever i am making a presentation or something ( that happens a lot) she makes faces as if she is getting bored and all.
thats fine with me too. maybe she does not find me interesting or something.
but now another thing happens. our seating arrangements in the class is changed and we stay in the same seat for about two months. and the seating plans changed and guess who is sitting next to me… her.
its been a week or so since we started sitting next to each other. i have not said salam to her either. I just look straight to the board. i dont give her any attention. and then i see a change ever since i started sitting there.
I was the vocal one in the class, with serious comments and jokes and all. she never really participated. but ever since i have started sitting with her, she has started taking part in discussions. atleast on two occasssions, she has made comments that were in contrast to mine, as if she was trying to reply to what i said. she was even looking at my face when she did that. i kept aloof and acted like i never noticed.
but i am thinking. what is up with this girl? ok you dont like me. fine. you dont want to be with me. fine too. but Goddamn it we will be working together for years to come. why are you being *****y to me. i thought men proposed to women that they liked, that they respected.
i am fast losing respect for this woman.
what is she trying to do anyway?
Re: I Am trying to understand the psychology here
why did you propose ? if she is
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being *****y to me
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Re: I Am trying to understand the psychology here
she has been doing that after the proposal. she was not like that before that.
Re: I Am trying to understand the psychology here
what i have told here is the after math of the proposal. I Am trying to see what's wrong?
ok, so i proposed a girl. i went about it through a mutual friend and i also asked her myself. she said no to me. and told our mutual friend the reason that she has had a recent mangni break up and she was considering any proposals at the moment. I was fine with it. i thought maybe she liked someone else because she hangs out with a couple of people. and maybe she likes the other guy in the group. that was not the problem. the problem is that she has been **ing about about me ever since. she has been making sneering comments about me. we are in a training program and in the same class. so whenever i am making a presentation or something ( that happens a lot) she makes faces as if she is getting bored and all. thats fine with me too. maybe she does not find me interesting or something. but now another thing happens. our seating arrangements in the class is changed and we stay in the same seat for about two months. and the seating plans changed and guess who is sitting next to me... her. its been a week or so since we started sitting next to each other. i have not said salam to her either. I just look straight to the board. i dont give her any attention. and then i see a change ever since i started sitting there. I was the vocal one in the class, with serious comments and jokes and all. she never really participated. but ever since i have started sitting with her, she has started taking part in discussions. atleast on two occasssions, she has made comments that were in contrast to mine, as if she was trying to reply to what i said. she was even looking at my face when she did that. i kept aloof and acted like i never noticed. but i am thinking. what is up with this girl? ok you dont like me. fine. you dont want to be with me. fine too. but Goddamn it we will be working together for years to come. why are you being **y to me. i thought men proposed to women that they liked, that they respected. i am fast losing respect for this woman. what is she trying to do anyway?
Just continue being normal around her. Don't give her any special attention. Don't go out of your way to talk to her. She rejected you and you took it well......and now she's acting like an immature teenager. There's no reason for her to act so exasperated especially if you're making no effort to get her attention.
She might have responded to your comments in class as a sincere learning effort and nothing more than that. Or she might have done it to get your attention. It's silly. If she wants your attention........then there are more mature ways of getting your attention. If you both are assigned to work on projects together.....then keep the discussion limited to your assignments.
If she continues getting nasty with you........then put her in her place. And tell her** "Look, girl, I expressed sincere interest in you and you turned me down. I'm fine with that and have moved on with my life. I had no control over the current seating arrangement and i'm only trying to get through this class like you are. I come here only with the sincere intention to learn and nothing more. So putting the immature adolescent eye-rolling "you have the cooties" behavior aside........I'm sure we're both capable of communicating like adults and getting this assigment finished."
**If you don't want to do that..........then just do what I said earlier. Don't give her special attention........only limit discussion to assignments. Maybe soon, she'll get over herself. InshaAllah you'll find a girl who respects you.
Re: I Am trying to understand the psychology here
She's trying to get your attention. be flattered ;)
Re: I Am trying to understand the psychology here
but the problem is that i dont want her attention any more.
Re: I Am trying to understand the psychology here
^ lol that can be tough. not much you can do. just bear it well and thank Allah for obviously it could've been a disaster.
but the problem is that i dont want her attention any more.
i think that was her goal. sometimes girls get so disgusted/annoyed that a guy is into them that they become mega-*****es in the hope that that never enters your mind again.
Re: I Am trying to understand the psychology here
Jaanaan,
Dude, if you claim that you don't care about her anymore...........then why are you so bothered by her recent behavior?
If you're still bothered by her behavior....then that is a possible indication you still care about her on some level and might not be completely over her just yet.
Because if you were over her........then you wouldn't give a damn why she's behaving so rudely. We normally don't give a damn about people we don't care about.
Re: I Am trying to understand the psychology here
I am concerned about the comments she makes behind my back.
I am concerned about the comments she makes behind my back.
Look........i can understand if a girl gets mad at a guy who keeps trying to get attention after she's made it perfectly clear that she's not interested.
But in your case.....you claim that you don't even talk to her or look at her......so she has no need to feel threatened.
She's just an immature girl, with ego issues, who can't handle the fact that a guy can come to class for reasons that have nothing at all to do with her.
If you don't give a crap about her.......then don't worry about what she says behind your back. Continue ignoring her and be respectful to others..........and everybody will soon be able to tell that the problem is with HER and not you. And they will reflect over the stupid things she says about you behind your back and they will realize that she's just a silly little girl who wants to flatter her ego.........and that you are a decent person who DOESN'T EVEN LOOK AT HER!
Seriously........continue ignoring her.....and her gossiping will blow up in her face because people will think she's FOOLISH for talking about a guy who doesn't even look at her. Let her fail in her own game.
Re: I Am trying to understand the psychology here
were you friends with her before you proposed?
if so i'm sure she's probably angry that you have taken yourself out of the friendship realm at a time where she probably just needed friends.
a guy jumping in when you've just broken up with someone is often the last thing a girl wants, especially if said guy is supposed to be a friend and to know better.
Re: I Am trying to understand the psychology here
^ That's a good question. A spoiled friendship can cause someone to behave like this. But if the girl was like an acquaintance or stranger...then she shouldn't be acting so weird.
And someone who is a friend shouldn't be talking bad about you behind your back either.
Re: I Am trying to understand the psychology here
^i agree with the second part. but i think there is more to it and sometimes anger and feeling betrayed can make people do things out of character.
Re: I Am trying to understand the psychology here
^ We'll have to wait until he clarifies what relationship they had prior to the romantic confession, lol.
Re: I Am trying to understand the psychology here
more like a bollywood situation, you propose, she rejects, fate brings you two together, 1st party doing weird things to get attention, 2nd party ignoring ( who actually proposed in the first place) the first party... it is complicated business...
can you talk to the administrator, and change your seat??? ( iam sure it is not military arrangement, where orders cannot be re-considered)
Re: I Am trying to understand the psychology here
Dude, just wink at the guy seating nearest you......she'll get the message that you are NOT into her at all, LOL LOL LOL.
Although....that would give her....ahem...another reason to talk about you.
Ignore her.
Re: I Am trying to understand the psychology here
I knew her brother because he went to school with me. but not her. i did not know that she had a break up or something. did not even have the slightest idea. the only reason i went with all this was that my family wanted me to marry into pashtoons. when i heard some of her comments about life in general, i thought we could be compatible. I also thought she was suitable for me family wise. so that was pretty much it. but if i had known that it would lead to all this, i would never have had proceeded with it.
more like a bollywood situation, you propose, she rejects, fate brings you two together, 1st party doing weird things to get attention, 2nd party ignoring ( who actually proposed in the first place) the first party... it is complicated business...
can you talk to the administrator, and change your seat??? ( iam sure it is not military arrangement, where orders cannot be re-considered)
I dont watch those stupid indian movies. maybe she does and that's why she is doing all this. LOL
in any case at first i had thought that i should ask about getting my seat changed. but then i said to myself, " why me? if she has a problem with me, she should get her seat changed." so i decided i will just go to my seat every day and sit there and dont look at her.