i am sad and hurt..

[cute_ainee]

Re: i am sad and hurt..

redvelvet that really made me feel better..thanks :)

[Paheli00]

Re: i am sad and hurt..

Her post does not indicate that she bashed him (to his face ) about picking up some food for her and her guest. It's very possible (and is likely the case) that she's just making the comment behind his back.

No, she probably did not bash him to his face. But by what she has written, it also doesn't seem that she showed any appreciation either. And if she's like most women I know.....her facial expression/general attitude was a clear indication of how she felt. I actually feel sorry for the husband! It must be difficult for him to work all day...and then come to her....a wife who nags him about little things and also lets him know that his money isn't enough for her (ie. referring back to her previous post about buying furniture). He tells her to visit her family for 2 months and she takes that negatively.....he picks up food for her and her guest (even adds her fav. food) and she thinks he has some ulterior motive.........I mean seriously....when does HE get a break? Why should he do anything nice for her if she's always going to think he has some hidden motive behind simple acts?

[partyslims]

Re: i am sad and hurt..

@khattichic

Are we positively sure that cute ainee is not just Nadz in disguise? A multi perhaps? Is our favorite basket case just messing with us?? Maybe Mr. Mod can look into this…

Sure thing

consults magic 8 ball

It says “try again later” :-/

[CM]

Re: i am sad and hurt..

headdesk

[partyslims]

Re: i am sad and hurt..

headdesk

*Here, have a cookie. It will make you feel better. By the time you finish eating this cookie, you'll feel right as rain.
*

[redvelvet]

Re: i am sad and hurt..

*Here, have a cookie. It will make you feel better. By the time you finish eating this cookie, you'll feel right as rain. *

What's up with the disparity in treatment? I wanna feel right as rain too. :(

[partyslims]

Re: i am sad and hurt..

What's up with the disparity in treatment? I wanna feel right as rain too. :(

You get a slice of cheesecake!

[khattichic]

Re: i am sad and hurt..

and what am..chopped liver??

[partyslims]

Re: i am sad and hurt..

@khattichic

and what am..chopped liver??

You get… ummm …chopped liver!!!

[LucyMay]

Re: i am sad and hurt..

cute ainee: I think both of you need to understand each other.
I completely get your frustration and boredom - I'd be tearing my hair out if i had to depend on someone to take me out!
But your husband is out all day working and is in no mood to come shopping in the evening. I get that too.

Why don't you work out a schedule where he can relax and get some time off and also take you around on shopping, socializing etc. He needs to understand your situation and the fact that its not your fault that you're dependent on him. Pick one day of the week where the evening is yours to plan. He gets the rest of the work week to relax. That way he doesn''t get annoyed every time you ask him to take you somewhere. You can always do fun stuff on weekends or Fridays, whatever day off you get in saudi.
You should also work out a schedule for yourself .. what do other women there do? Can you join a hobby class or meet up with friends?

[ashykh]

Re: i am sad and hurt..

@khattichic

Let this serve as a Public Service Announcement…**PARENTS…THINK LONG AND HARD BEFORE YOU GET YOUR DAUGHTER MARRIED OFF TO A MAN THAT LIVES ABROAD, WHERE SHE WILL HAVE TO STAY WITHOUT ANY SUPPORT SYSTEMS AND LEARN NEW CUSTOMS. IT’S NOT SOMETHING EVERYONE CAN HANDLE. PLEASE DO EVERYONE A FAVOR AND PREPARE YOUR SONS & DAUGHTERS FOR THE REAL WORLD

**Thank you

if only all parents would come here and read this message… :sigh:

[Twinklestar]

Cute Ainee are u very pretty or beautiful ? Do u feel you are entitled to special treatment? Even if this is the case he will go gaga over you for a little while. You have to do your share in the relationship. That's a good sign if he wants to appear like a good husband in front if others. Showiness is not good all the time but it shows tha t he values his image in front of your relatives.

[JeevayPakistan]

Re: i am sad and hurt..

**i live in KSA and going to pakistan in april..its been a year that i got married..when ever i talk about going to pakistan for a month,my hubby says that now that u r going there,stay there for 2 months atleast...like from everything he say it feels as if he is fed up of me and he wants me to go to pak now..though its been only a year that we got married....i asked him many times y do u want me to live so long there?and he says that its just that u spend good time there with ur family and friends..

now my hubby is not at all ann outgoing person and here in KSA i cant drive and cant go out without mehram,on my own...now for everything i have to ask my hubby to go with me and in the first few months we used to go out every day but now if i ask my hubby to go out with me or take me out anywhere,he gets so irritated...now it so happened that i stopped asking him much to go out to malls etc...he goes to office in the morning,come back till 7 or 8 pm and then sits on laptop or goes to sleep...now today i asked him that i want to do some grocery when he came back from office,,,he said ok,but i wont go now,i will go around 11 pm..i said ok..and now he went to sleep again:(..

the thing is that today i asked him that i wana go to some event tomorrow(thats happening in our city),at first he said"kya kerna hai ja ker,rehne dow"..but i said no i want to go and then he said"now u know y i want u to go back to pakistan"..i said "y?if i ask u to take me somewhere coz i cant drive or go out alone ,is it that much a problem"..he said "yes"..i said i m hurt for what u said and he said"achi baat hai"..

i am soooo sad and hurt:(..what should i do?i am sooo sooo ssoooo frustrated and down:(**

Just take the word 'i' out of your life and concentrate on 'we' - everything would be alright then.

[Reha]

Re: i am sad and hurt..

And when you start making more friends, you could carpool to events.

good idea!

cute ainee

I don't think you're trying at all. You're whining and that never gets people anywhere.

The fact that he is letting you go to Pak is a big deal for that long. Most don't really allow their wives to leave their homes for such extended periods of time especially in the beginning.

Just give your marriage its due time...stop stressing him out and you in the process.

Be nice to him...it doesn't hurt to be nice to someone...especially your husband.

[KaafHaaYaaAynSaad]

Re: i am sad and hurt..

Sis, you're not really being patient. If we gets angry, then just let it be. Unless, it's something really important, then try to let it go. I mean, what's more valuable to you, keeping your marriage happy or going to this event? You're going to have to learn to give up a lot of things from here on. InshaAllah.

Some of the replies are very harsh, by the way. I mean, if we can't give proper advice, then it's better not to say anything. Getting angry at her on a Forum isn't going to help her situation at all. She's more likely to listen to us if we go about it the right way, being calm and all. InshaAllah.

[Doppleganger]

Re: i am sad and hurt..

And my friend told me that they have started to be lax on women driving around.

[DaffyDuck]

Re: i am sad and hurt..

@Twinklestar

Cute Ainee are u very pretty or beautiful ? Do u feel you are entitled to special treatment? Even if this is the case he will go gaga over you for a little while. You have to do your share in the relationship. That’s a good sign if he wants to appear like a good husband in front if others. Showiness is not good all the time but it shows tha t he values his image in front of your relatives.

Her name clearly states she is CUTE! :halo:

[ninja_hattori]

Re: i am sad and hurt..

@DaffyDuck

Her name clearly states she is CUTE! :halo:

may be she wants her husband to call her cute but he doesn’t so…

[cute_ainee]

Re: i am sad and hurt..

well thank u all for ur advices....what i got, most of the people here suggested that i should socialize or go out only on weekends otherwise i should be happy staying at home and find some "hobby" for myself and i don't know what that "hobby" should be...cooking or cleaning or dusting or watching tv..what hobbies do u people have when u stay at home?

[Sannan]

Re: i am sad and hurt..

@cute_ainee

well thank u all for ur advices…what i got, most of the people here suggested that i should socialize or go out only on weekends otherwise i should be happy staying at home and find some “hobby” for myself and i don’t know what that “hobby” should be…cooking or cleaning or dusting or watching tv..what hobbies do u people have when u stay at home?

My Hobbies :



Reading
and favorite one