i am sad and hurt..

Lifestyle Relationships
61

Re: i am sad and hurt..

Yo Cutey! i think it is bunch of frustration from your husband's end. Like someone said here..that he might be feeling overwhelmed. Now the issue is ya gota do something with your time. Having said that..there isn't much to do in saudi for women eh!..then you should take may be some online classes for something. Or do tution for kids. Just a side story..when i was in saudia there used to be Mrs. Ishaq in our building. She tells my mom, " yahan tu bahot boriyat hoti hai..es liya mainay saysai jamaat (PML-N) woman wing join karlii." She used to be one of those hardcore mo'on phatt punjaban aunty. I used to call her gul-bakaoli aunty haha..memories!!.

62

Re: i am sad and hurt..

CA: I will suggest you PTI women wing.

63

Re: i am sad and hurt..

:smack:

64

Re: i am sad and hurt..

If that was a reaction after reading “yo cutey!” then I 2nd.

65

Re: i am sad and hurt..

Am the only one who is kinda missing the 3rd person bro-talk between x-tron & sta??? :dannyboy:

Yes, I realize I’m derailing…:k337:

66

Re: i am sad and hurt..

Sup KC!. i quit talking in third person. Talking in third person was creating controversy in gs.

67

Re: i am sad and hurt..

^^you’re an original my friend…don’t lose your swag:smokin2:

and plus, i need something to poke fun at :cb:

68

Re: i am sad and hurt..

Looks like your husband has your best interest in mind as several have said here. I would say he is being very generous agreeing to have you enjoy for 2 months - consider it a vacation. Life is tough enough for him (and you). Dont make it more complicated. Keep it simple.

69

Re: i am sad and hurt..

2 months is not a big deal I guess. I know a big family who lives in Muscat(I guess having more or less the same rules as KSA), they send their wives here for like 3 months, for the first two months the wives enjoy here alone and then in the 3rd month hubbies join. This is their normal routine after like every 1 or 2 yrs.

Even an unmarried(male) cousin of mine who is again in muscat comes to khi for 3 months on vacations in 2 yrs of times..

So i dont think 2 month living back in Pak is REALLY a problem! come here take a break!! it would serve as a good change! :)

70

Re: i am sad and hurt..

[quote=““cute ainee””]

wow, so after a 12 hour+ day at work, you get upset if he wants to just Veg or not go for grocery shopping?
I think he is being very considerate when he is telling you that you should go for a longer period, because he realizes that socially you are nor happy and are bored.

unless there is more to this, please dont bother him to take you anywhere the evenings he is getting home at 8 from work.

and for weekends, make some plans, build a social life, have friends come over..as you guys get social as a couple, things will improve

71

Re: i am sad and hurt..

KC: somehow people were frustrated by me. anyways, same set of people are also watching humsafar, and they dont complain when Hareem uses third person. :naraz:

hareem ko noodle pasand hai. Hareem ajj zoo jaiye gi. Hareem ko dadi say dar lagta hai.

STA is feeling weird now. :@:

72

Re: i am sad and hurt..

Put on a fake beard and some loose arbee choga and drive yourself.

73

Re: i am sad and hurt..

Cute ainee, I don't think it's a reasonable expectation to be taken out for shopping/visits every second day. You should try to limit your excursions to weekends only when your husband is more relaxed. Yes, ideally he should realize that you get bored sitting alone at home all day and ideally he should be willing to chauffer you around whenever you want but a 9 to 7 job can be tiring indeed and we don't live in an ideal world, right?

How about you develop a hobby or two? Maybe keep yourself busy by watching movies or tv shows at home. Read magazines, novels, etc. Befriend other ladies in the neighborhood, even if they are from a different culture/background; it could be incredibly fun getting to know them. If you are still bored, perhaps Skype with your mom/ close friends/siblings to keep up with all the nitty gritty happening in their lives. May be you could even spend more time on Gupshup to keep bordedom at bay. It can be very addictive! :)

74

Re: i am sad and hurt..

Go out on weekends.

75

Re: i am sad and hurt..

He should keep you with his family in Pakistan with MIL, FIL, SIL, prepare break fast for them, then go outside for grocery etc… Prepare lunch & dinner … then you ll realize that how comfortable you are :emmy:

BTW No doubt "Auratain Buhat Na Shukari waqa hoi hain " :cobra:

76

Re: i am sad and hurt..

Firstly, *go to Pakistan for 1 month and you both relax during the period.
*
Secondly, most men dislike it if they come home after a long hectic day and are nagged to go out again. They want peace at home. They want to be treated like a king and be attended to instead of being asked to attend to. So don't ask him to go out on a week day
**
Thirdly,** keep all your shopping, grocery, dine out, etc for the weekend. Talk to him about this & tell him that I know you're tired during the week days so I wouldn't bother you during this time. Be compassionate and he'll start caring for your needs more as well.

**Fourthly, **for the week days try to find some fun @ home activities or get a social circle in the neighborhood for the time till the weekend.

That's all! Not an issue that required #75 responses.

77

Re: i am sad and hurt..

Omg…khuda ki qasm, while watching last week’s episode I was thinking to myself “Hareem sounds like Xtron/STA’s love child” …Bahahhahhaa!!!

Dheko, main kitna yaad kartihoon apni GS bhai/bahaino ko :hypo:

Or is it a sign that maybe I need to get a life??? :hmmm:

78

Re: i am sad and hurt..

the problem is he works till 7/8 pm and if i worked that long i wud want to come home and act like a couch potato. But this doesnt mean he should be ignoring other responsibilities. You should get a job or join other group activities you can find.This way you will be getting busy with your thing . You know taxi is always an option.

79

Re: i am sad and hurt..

Some very good replies here, MashaAllah.

Just to reiterate, what I hear from you, it seems that you're getting fed of of him really quickly. Yes, I know he's being lazy, but sis, this is your MARRIAGE and he is your HUSBAND. So, for the sake of your marriage, you are going to have to learn to be a lot more patient. The reason I'm telling you to be patient and not him, is because, well, I can only advice you, since your husband isn't on the Forum. But, if he was, it goes for him, too.

Ok, firstly, try not to get upset or angry at him. The only thing this does is it'll add more fuel and make things worse. No one likes a nagger. You should control your anger and talk to him gently. If you can't then, sit down, have a glass of water, or just leave the room for now. But, if you keep controlling yourself, then InshaAllah, he will come to notice this.

When he is more "free" and calm, then you can go and talk to him (again, gently, and with love). Explain to him how you feel being at home all the time. Think of some reasonable things that you can do and he can accommodate you for it. Bring him his favorite dessert, get close to him (don't sit across the room), talk to him, be intimate, etc. I honestly don't think any man can deny all of that.

Like some others have said, try to find things to do with him InshaAllah. Even little things that you both can do around the house, like cooking together, cleaning the house (on weekends), feed each other with your hands, or you know what, challenge him on a cell phone game!

So, khair, what I'm saying is that, you have to hang in there, sis. Be patient with him. Because, reading your post and the attitude that you have towards him only after 1 year is very worrying. I mean, you're thinking like you'll be trapped forever here and that you want to go back to Pak forever...=/ That's just not OK!

Lastly, and very important, pray and make Dua to Allah to put lots of love and understanding between you both. Prayer is the best weapon for the believers! Ask help from Allah! And, InshaAllah, learn about the roles and responsibilities of a Muslim wife and husband. This goes to both of you! There so many great examples from the life of Prophet Muhammad SAAW and his wives. We have a lot to learn.

May Allah SWT make you both coolness of your eyes and place great love and affection between you both.

80

Re: i am sad and hurt..

You need 30% understanding and compassion and 70% growing up.