I am terrified of being alone and never loved.
yes, we don?t know what the future holds and all, but a man?s love and care, and for me to give that same back to a man is something I have always wanted out of life. When i met my husband I thought this is it, we are set mA for life, but clearly I was wrong. And no matter how modern a man or his family, meeting a divorced women is a hard pill to swallow and many simply cant accept that. Not that im saying i want to jump right in and start dating etc because i dont want that.
His family got involved and are trying hard to patch us up, but since he isnt listening, their efforts are in vain
May Allah help you Ameen
i know this is hard very hard but Allah will make a way for you In ?āʾ Allāh (إن شاء الله,)
just pray hard for your good! And don?t be scared of your future!
because with every difficulty ease comes!
Your patience will never get Un rewarded
I don?t understand, why would anyone want to live with someone who doesn?t want to live with them!
Because i want my life back which was so full of love. It?s not something we cant overcome, we totally can, but he doesnt want to. And im extremely sad about the upcoming changes that will occur with the divorce
Reading the first bit of this post is so sad..
Have you thought about counselling? It would really help and give you some clarity.. You said you have no emotional stability right now..
Even if he did stay because they talked him round or because of pressure from his parents, what’s to say he won’t just walk out a few months later down the line.. If he really doesn’t want to there isn’t much you can do about it and besides you deserve better, someone who loves you as much as you love him, not a person who needs to talked into staying when he doesn’t really want to..
To me this reads as though he may be involved with someone else.. All those nights out (was anything stopping him from taking you along?) and not being very interested in intimacy with you..
I think it?s the fear of Unkown that makes of think it?s love. Our mind plays tricks with us.
yes, the times he would go out, i was always invited, and in beginning year of our marriage, i was fine with it.. but i slowly got over it and didnt want to do that constantly, sometimes its fine, and i still would occasionally, but he never stopped, and we would have disagreements about that topic too.
my friend keeps suggesting counselling too, i may take everyone up on that and do it.
im just not in the right frame of mind.
he wants to go, he will go, i understand that. My problem is, its a marriage, and marriage requires effort, but when one partner simply doesnt want to, well then my hands are tied at that point
Did your husband display any signs of frustration in the past few weeks? In his body language, words, etc?
Nope. Not at all. Thats why it was so out of the blue for the topic to even start. He had been harboring bad feelings though for a long time, i know that now (well, he said it, so i dont have anything else to go by).
i had no clue had been thinking about it months befofe he brought it up. We were living happily and normally
Your version of ‘‘happily and normally’’ is not what his view is of the state of affairs… and words don’t do much for men…even if you re-assured and expressed your willingness to change/compromise and do your part --------unless you did something about it…it counts for jack shit…and if it continues (as per his POV) it means he has given up already…and not much can be done…thats what i think happen.
But if I didnt know he was toying with the idea of a divorce in the first place, and was quiet on anything ?changing? thats not fair to me. Through the years no matter how bad we have fight, i have never thought of divorce, so how can he? And if he did, he should have told me it has gotten to that point where he feels we are in trouble and lets work together to figure it out.
You dont just give up and walk away.
Thank you for that, Illuminate.. and you are right.. he has changed, no longer the person he used to be when we initially met and i just have to accept that
Are there any kid?
No
I am sorry the pain you are going thru and I pray Allah Taala give you something more better then what you lose. I know you want him to come back to you but that will gona be tough too. When vase breaks and we glue it there will gona be cracks, its not same anymore. If he really scared to lose you then he would do trial separation for few months not divorce. I read your past threads and I dont like ur husband sorry to say.
Omg, I am so sorry OP. This was heartbreaking to read, may the new year bring a lot of happiness and peace for you.
This is usual in most cases where divorce is initiated by one person. Usually the other oen has no idea.
BTW, saying that you wanted from life is to love a man and be loved is kind of sad.
You?re calling me sad, as in, pathetic sad?
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I didnt mean that i live for that.. but yes, it is something very important to me. I am terrified of being alone and i do believe in love, which i found but didnt last obviously
Keep your chin up, princess. The best is yet to come!