just like every couple, we have had our ups and downs. But it was never ever anything serious to the point of breaking up. I guess he was holding it in, because now all he wants is a divorce and won?t talk about anything else.
I have pleaded, tried reasoning with him. I Have prayed so hard for Allah to make us stay together, but he is already making moves to separate. In a few days he is going to tell his family (we live separately).
it was a love marriage, if that makes a difference
i feel like my world is collapsing, what do I do? I love him so much, and he says he loves me to, but that isn?t enough, in his own words
I’m VERY, VERY sorry to know that. I sincerely hope things get better for you. Inshallah they will.
Now he may be right that he may love you and you may love him but it may not be enough. So either you talk it out with him, try mediation, support groups, couple therapy etc.
But say you have either tried it or you’ll but it goes nowhere. Then comes the hardest part. Divorce is never easy specially if you are in the eastern society. But its still better than ruining your whole life with the wrong person.
An honest opinion, the road from here onwards is going to be very bumpy. It’ll require the best and strongest of yourself to come out and face the challenges. And the strong trust that yes you can! In order to be stronger you have to be very selfish. Otherwise this can take forever. Start working on things that will matter most, like the financials etc. Or in very simple words, now is the time when you start using your brain far more than your heart. Wish you all the best. 
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Thank you for the kind words. I tried mentioning the meditation, counseling, praying together with him to Allah, he refused it all.
It is hard being strong, but i do not have a choice in this matter either.
I am so sorry that you’re going through such a difficult time. May Allah make it easier for you; Amin.
You cannot force him to feel a certain way, sweetheart. And you can’t hold back someone who is hell bent on leaving. With that said, I am of the opinion that it’s better if you stop (for your own dignity) pleading and begging him to stay. Don’t leave him tearful messages, no imploring texts…none of that. I understand that it is easier said than done but what you have been doing so far (the crying, the begging, etc) is not working. So now try the alternative. Let him go…without the dramatics.. In the mean time, you take a break from him and take care of you. Spend time with your family and friends, get a change of scenery if need be, but place the focus on you. IF…let’s say that there is any wiggle room at all for him to reconsider his decision, then you need to give him that space (without the crying and tears) to think things through. Give him that space to wonder about you, to wonder where you are, why you’ve gone quiet, why you’re not reacting in a dramatic way, and to figure out what he wants etc etc. If it’s meant to be he’ll come back and he knows where to find you. And if not, then Allah has something better in store for you that may not apparent to you at this moment. But whatever the outcome may be, you hold on to your dignity. If you want to cry in the privacy of your home or with your family and friends…do so. But no more groveling and pleading and crying in front of him or in any form of communication (email/phone, etc etc) because human nature is such that we tend to lose patience for such reactions and men especially.
I recall your former threads in which you discussed your marital issues. You were frustrated back then, too. And from what I remember, he didn’t seem all that vested in the marriage even back then. You deserve to be in a marriage with a guy who wants you just as much as you want him, who is willing to ride out all of life’s speed bumps with you. Right now what you need is time and space to yourself, away from him. It’s possible that during this period of reflection, you yourself might arrive at the realization that a separation is best. But whether the outcome is that of reconciliation or coming to terms with the separation, for now give both him and yourself some space and take care of you.
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Please do whatever to save your relationship but if it does not work out then also know that I have seen scores of women do really well in life after divorce, my sister was divorced and nowher husband is the most amazing father and husband any woman can dream of, my wife was arranged marriaged into an abuser and my nephew, who is a multi-millionaire handsome guy just married a divorced girl. Best thing is to look after yourself. TBH he did not sound like a good man. Love marriage back home are not love marriages as you don’t know the person closely.
You answered your own question.
Divorce is a serious matter but you must be thankful to God that he has answered your prayers. Dont think He “refused”. He gives His dear ones what’s best for them. Obviously, this marriage isn’t good for you necausethe divorce is coming after you desperately prayed to Him. Trust His decision for you. In the coming days you’ll see this is His answer to your prayers.
Might be a blessing in disguise, you never know.
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And as for as the LOVE is concerned, well it?s an interesting concept. No one can really define it. I have seen people doing crazy shit for love and declare months and years later that it was not love at all.
عشق اک ترجمۂ بوالہوسی ہے گویا
عشق اپنی ہی کمی ہے گویا
It?s craving, validation, companionship, lust, biology, fulfillment that underlies the attractiveness of the concept.
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I am trying very hard to put my trust in Allah, but at the same time, I guess I will never know why this is happening.
why my husband is all of a sudden wanting to have nothing to do with me. He juts wants out- point blank. I feel like a fly on the wall that he?s just getting rid of now. We have always had such a loving and caring relationship.
i guess the part that hurts most is that he is taking this so casually and light hearted while I am taking a big hit to my heart. He brushes it off like it is no big deal, ?alot of people break up? he tells me. We are not the first ones.
No, he is not gay.
As redvelvet mentioned, we have had some issues in the past which we had talked about. But the issues kept coming up (mainly by him), and we were trying to overcome them. Mainly it was intimacy, but never ever had we mentioned separating cuz of it. And now that is one thing amongst he others he brings up when he says he will not change his mind about divorce. He says he sees no future cuz of the issues we have had previously. I told him if we work together through it (cuz we did have a little progress before) we can overcome it. He just will not listen and wants to see a lawyer this week.
This divorce thing came up two weeks ago, and now he is ready for the next step.
i am breaking
may be he is having an affair which u dnt know about… involve ur elders in the process… ur parents…his parents … what are parents saying about this whole situation?//…may be they can help u two sort thinhs out…
My parents are out of the country and I don?t want to tell them yet, they are very emotional and the dramatic type, it will be a whole nother ordeal to deal with them.
his family does not know yet either, he hasnt told them. But they are the type that will give him crap for it too, but also, if he tells them to stay out of it, they wont get involved either
Have some chocolate 
Now lawyers are getting involved.
i am continuously breaking. Why do i continue to love him while he is casually walking away?
i am afraid of being alone, trusting anyone else, no family of my own, and am in my mid thirties almost
Bakra24 - i felt so secure with him, and was so happy with him, all my love was for him, and he knows that. I just don?t know whay he is leaving me and does not want to work through his narazgi with me. We get one life on this earth, and i don?t want to spend it away from him. But i have no choice if he doesn?t want to
Were you really though? I remember all the frustration about intimacy and him not interested in children. Who knows what his reasons are but it seems he wants something else from life and the rest is just an excuse. I hope you find the strength to accept this and move on for a better life for yourself too.
May Allah help and aide you through this difficulty!
is there any way u two could just live separately for a while n put divorce on hold ??? … give each other some space … figure things out … may be he realizes what he will miss n lose if he goes for a divorce … n this way u both will know what it will be like after divorce … i hope that doesnt happen n things work our for u two InshaAllah … i hope Allah changes his mind… when u have some one u take that person for granted … when they dont have that person only then they realize that persons worth …
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^^I know this couple who actually did this. Lived away from each other for more than 1 year. Then they came back together and living happy life..
Every realtionship had issues, and we had ours. It?s not something we couldnt overcome. Our intimacy slowly started getting better, but wasnt healed completely. You don?t just walk out of a good realtionship, thats my point, and thats why im so hurt.
i never took him for granted and always treated him with respect and had mutual admiration and love for each other.
All these love feelings are so sudden just because he is leaving