Well your judgment is based on your experience and mine is based on my experience and I'm sorry, I really don't believe in others' words(unless I have experienced the same) simply because what other person considers a right behaviour wouldn't neccesarily be right in my opinion. You can disagree with what I've said, I'm not trying to impose it on you guys neither am I trying to convince you because I know you have your experiences and I have mine! :)
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I'm not trying oppose my opinion on you. But to say that your experience doesn't allow you believe anything other than "A person who has even one drink is an alcoholic, and a horrible person, who I'm even afraid to be near" is quite narrow. It's no different from people who see Muslims as only terrorists because they only experienced extreme muslims and only hear about muslim terrorists on the media, etc. In other words, generalization.
Well drinking cultures also vary from place to place. In some parts of Europe, say France Italy, Holland etc, drinking to excess is frowned upon. In northern England though everyone drinks to get blotto.
I'm not trying oppose my opinion on you. But to say that your experience doesn't allow you believe anything other than "A person who has even one drink is an alcoholic, and a horrible person, who I'm even afraid to be near" is quite narrow.
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Fret, you're assuming too much now! Please don't put words in my mouth. Thanks!! I didn't say any of the things you wrote above. I said I don't want to be in that kind of environment and I don't like my friends to drink at all coz it's just wrong in my opinion!
I am pleasantly surprised that this thread has not derailed .... :)
Personally Cat, I would get bored if everyone got drunk while I sat around and watched. However, there may be other non-drinkers there too. I'm sure you can still have fun even if others are drinking and you aren't.
I would have to agree with Coconut's views. You can be the responsible one.
Fret, you're assuming too much now! Please don't put words in my mouth. Thanks!! I didn't say any of the things you wrote above. I said I don't want to be in that kind of environment and I don't like my friends to drink at all coz it's just wrong in my opinion!
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Bolded below are your quotes. I didn't put any words in your mouth.
Originally posted by CurruptAngel: *
"Actually I don't consider a person who drinks (whether every night or occasionally) a very good person, I can't stand the smell of alcohol or smoke either so there. I agree, drinking and smoking doesn't necessarily mean the person is bad but it's one of the characteristics that I don't want my friends to have(personal choice). I haven't been to a pub but I know what goes on in there. Intermingling with the opposite sex is fine if you're in your limits **but how many people do you know who drink and 'stay in limits'? I don't even feel safe to be around these kinda people!*"
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*Originally posted by MehnazQ: *
I am pleasantly surprised that this thread has not derailed .... :)
Personally Cat, I would get bored if everyone got drunk while I sat around and watched
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but would everyone get drunk? thats the question..and by drunk do u mean buzing opr wasted, some will get buzzed, some may get tipsy, some will get wasted.
again not everyone who drinks gets drunk..so unless cat knows that her pals plan on being fubar'ed there will be people around to hang with and chat.
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*Originally posted by cat-woman: *
Is there any point being at being at an event where everyone is plastered, except for you, assuming that you enjoy the company of your friends?
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I was just responding based on Cat's assumption that everybody would get plastered. :)
You are correct though. If everyone was expected to get plastered then I would presume they would stop having office "holiday parties".
again not everyone who drinks gets drunk..so unless cat knows that her pals plan on being fubar'ed there will be people around to hang with and chat.
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Well like Mehnaz I was basing my reply on Cat's assumption that all her friends would be getting plastered. She did say it pretty specifically right at the beginning.
Where did I say that a person who drinks is a “horrible person”? In the second bolded part, I was referring to those who get drunk and then they forget their home address. Maybe older folks(25 ++) stay in limits but mostly people from my age group(around 21) don’t usually stay in their limits from their first drink!
hmm interesting question... ive gone out with friends to bars and dinners where they've been drinking and ive had to survive on orange juice and coke...
i dont find nething wrong with sitting with people whilst they are having alcohol.. but if i know a friend who does get drunk after one or two, i do let them know.. and theyve been decent enuff to not drink the next time we've been out... :)
and yeah personally i dont think alcohol makes a person good or bad.. and it neither makes them an alcoholic...
...i know of pakistani guys who claim to be 'shareef' and label others as alcoholics cus they admit they drink.... but these 'shareef' lads are the ones hanging off poles (drunk) when we've been out... honestly i have no respect for people who claim one thing and do something else.. now those are the 'bad' ones
I've never been to bars and stuff...can someone explain what is so cool about going to clubs/bars?? I mean you can hang out with your friends in so many places but why a place where people are drinking? or do you go there just coz your friends wanna drink??
^ theres nothing 'cool' about going to bars.... i just stated i have been a few times (like 3 times)... yes u can hang out with friends anywhere.. lekin sometimes when its a work related matter than u r obliged to go... ofcourse one can say no and state why u cant go to a bar or why u will not... :)
..plus people dont only go to a bar to drink... theres other entertainments there... maybe good music (like a live band).. and food as well..
.. ive had more paki/muslim friends have parties at bars than gore people.. aint that interesting? :)
Corrupt Angel, people can drink anywhere. They can drink in their homes. They can have a drink at a restaurant. Now, if a group of my friends were all going out to dinner, would I not go if I knew they would be having some wine/beer with their food? No. I would still go. Nobody has ever pressured me into doing something I'm not interested in doing. Friends respect one another ... and if they don't respect my wishes not to personally drink, then they certainly aren't a friend. That has never occured though. What they do, however, is their own business.
Restaurants/bars nowadays are one in the same. In fact, I've never been to a Western restaurant where alcohol isn't being served (excluding fast food places of course). If people want to drink, that is their perogative.
A lot of my friends are social drinkers. They totally respect that I don't drink though. Heck, we've even gone to a dessert place like Demetre's and if they want a Kahlua Coffee, then that's what they drink.
Office parties often have alcohol. Would you not attend then? Heck, in my office, they take out champagne at service recognition receptions that occur during the day. I have no intention of quitting my job though. :)
Alcohol is pretty much all around us. Nobody is forcing you to drink though ... if you have will power of course.
I have a very good friend who constantly used to invite me to go to clubs on the weekend, and I would refuse. Then one day I went to one with another friend of mine, and one of my brothers. It was totally not my thing. I didnt pay much attention to the alcohol, just the environment wasnt to my liking, I didnt feel comfortable. I told my other friend what happened, and since then she respects the fact that I do not enjoy that environment and now we go to places we both enjoy.
^ that was going to be my next point.... bars and restaurants are pretty much the same these days... theres just an added fear related to bars... thats its some place where drunks hang out... infact it looks the same as a restaurant.. just a bit livelier and relaxed...
alcohol is everywhere... even in pakistan.. have u seen how many people get drunk on the eve of basant?? geez hehe... and they act more foolish than my friends who drink socially...
lets just accept our friends for what they are.. as they do the same for us :)
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*Originally posted by Munni: *
I have a very good friend who constantly used to invite me to go to clubs on the weekend, and I would refuse. Then one day I went to one with another friend of mine, and one of my brothers. It was totally not my thing. I didnt pay much attention to the alcohol, just the environment wasnt to my liking, I didnt feel comfortable. I told my other friend what happened, and since then she respects the fact that I do not enjoy that environment and now we go to places we both enjoy.
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yeah same thing happened with me... id been refusing for so many years... then finally i thought.. lemme go see what its like and in the end it wasnt my cup of tea... not that its a bad place.. i just felt awkward.... the funny thing was.. most of the night my friends argued with one another about what was a 'suitable' place for me... they were soo overprotective.... very cute indeed...
but yeah since then they havent asked me to go newhere.. they make sure its a clean place... and ALWAYS ask if there's 'pig meat' in the food hehe
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*Originally posted by Fret Wizard: *
I don't mind going to a pub with friends for a drink. They'll have their alcohol, and I'll have my sprite or water. I don't feel awkward about it. As for going to parties where everyone is plastered, that is not my cup of tea. It's a waste of my time being with a bunch of drunk people. I'd have better things to do.
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I have same feelings that Munni does about bars n places like that. I mentioned earlier that it’s all about the environment and I don’t think it’s good to go to these places. And for the same reason I wouldn’t want my friends to drink coz I don’t wanna go to clubs and bars, etc…I remember once I went to this restaurant and there were only two couples drinking there..Dunno, what kinda restaurants you guys go to that look like bars……I just tend to avoid these types of places…Well maybe I am a weirdo coz til now I have only gone to concerts, movies, parks,museums(list is endless) with my friends and we really enjoy it but still don’t think I’m missing any fun… actually to me there’s no fun sitting in a place that smells like wine or beer(music or no music)…:yuck: yeh aur baat hai if HAVE TO attend a party where alcohol is served like office parties n stuff…majboori…
CA, any type of restaurant from the Rain Forest Cafe to East Side Mario's serve alcohol and will have a section which is designated as a bar. In fact, the majority of coffee places serve alcohol too. Just check out the menu and you will see exactly what I'm on about. However, people don't just go to drink .... they go to eat too! :) I don't think it would kill you or make you any less of a person/Muslim to actually go into a restaurant one day, have a coke, and actually see the environment for yourself. I'm afraid you are making assumptions when you haven't really experienced any of these places (based on what you have posted). I think it is a bit unfair of you to say these places smell of alcohol when in fact they don't, and more importantly, you haven't experienced it for yourself.
Clubs are another issue altogether. They are loud, smokey, etc. There you WILL smell alcohol, but again, nobody forces you to do anything you aren't interested in. I won't push on that matter since I'm pretty much in agreement with Munni on that one. :)
As for office parties ... it is optional to attend. I have no problem going and mingling with people even if they do have a glass of champagne in their hands. I wouldn't treat somebody differently or with disrespect if they choose to have a drink while at an office party.
On a side note, I too have been to concerts and even outdoor festivals where there has been alcohol being served and sold. :)
CA... u dont even have to try it.. lekin just be a bit more open minded about the assumptions being made... its like 'dont judge a book by its cover' :)
In the second bolded part, I was referring to those who get drunk and then they forget their home address. Maybe older folks(25 ++) stay in limits but mostly people from my age group(around 21) don’t usually stay in their limits from their first drink!
actually to me there’s no fun sitting in a place that smells like wine or beer(music or no music)…:yuck: yeh aur baat hai if HAVE TO attend a party where alcohol is served like office parties n stuff…majboori…