^ Part of the attraction was that you just didn't know how wonderful you are, and now you've just ruined it!
Darn! And now it’s too late to edit it…
Ah well all geniuses have their flaws 
Not that I’m a genius mind…there’s no way I’d know it.
Re: hypothetical question
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by cat-woman: *
If you don't drink, would you hang around people that do? And would you go to a bar/club/party where there's free-flowing alcohol and be happy sipping on your coke/juice/water?
Is there any point being at being at an event where everyone is plastered, except for you, assuming that you enjoy the company of your friends?
[/QUOTE]
just because they drink i dont have to :-)
i've been to bars/pubs with friends.. but ofcourse have water/coke when they can have whatever they want.
nope i dont go to parties like that at all :-)
I have never had any issues in parties where there was tons of alcohol. There were numerous people who did not drink and had a good time anyways. Having a lot of alcohol around does not mean everyone will be wasted, some will be some will not be.
I spent my undergrad days in a fraternity and had fun at the parties, clubs and bars with the gang before and after my reform :)
Almost all except one of my friends DO NOT DRINK. I have a couple of american friends who don't drink either. This desi friend from karachi drinks but he avoids it in our company. I just can't stand the smell of alcohol or smoke.
^ aah Frat boy...do you even remember what went on in your undergrad years? :-p I guess it's somewhat acceptable for guys to get away with partying at uni, but it's a definite no-no for girls. Sure, a lot of people are sober, my friend offered to bring me home early but eish...I wouldn't be able to handle the guilt trip tomorrow morning...
Re: hypothetical question
been in this situation numerous of times…inthe beginning it felt odd, but now i usually sit there watching them and laughing at their harkatein when they have drunk one to many 
[QUOTE]
Originally posted by cat-woman: *
^ aah Frat boy...do you even remember what went on in your undergrad years? :-p I guess it's somewhat acceptable for guys to get away with partying at uni, but it's a definite no-no for girls. Sure, a lot of people are sober, my friend offered to bring me home early but *eish...I wouldn't be able to handle the guilt trip tomorrow morning...
[/QUOTE]
ahhh stereotypes, funny how people only have the negative stereotypes associated with fraternities, as if partying does not go on elsewhere.
How is it different for girls..or do you mean desi girls and not girls in general..cuz I sure remember many girls at the parties I went to.
and even for desi girls its not a no no. I suppose its tougher for desi girls from strict families who are living at home, or close to home. There were plenty of desi girls at parties. Now there were less desi girls at the fraternity parties in general just like there were less desi guys, but I have been to desi parties on the east coast and the place would be packed.
same goes for clubs etc, my usual gang during grad school had ppl from all over including pakistani girls.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Fret Wizard: *
That isn't necessarily true.
[/QUOTE]
smoking, drinking, dancing, intermingling with with the opposite sex - it's all about the environment of these places. You think it is 'okay' to be around such things happening? What kinda person would like to go to a place like THAT?? I really don't think I will be able to BREATH there, forget about helping my drunk friends!!
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by CurruptAngel: *
smoking, drinking, dancing, intermingling with with the opposite sex - it's all about the environment of these places. You think it is 'okay' to be around such things happening? What kinda person would like to go to a place like THAT?? I really don't think I will be able to BREATH there, forget about helping my drunk friends!!
[/QUOTE]
You're missing the point. A person who drinks, or smokes isn't necessarily a bad person. If a person drinks, it doesn't mean he's an alcoholic who gets drunk every night. What's wrong with intermingling with the opposite sex, while in limits. Have you ever gone to a pub? It's like a restaurant, no different. It seems like you think theres a massive drunken orgy happening or something.
Hmmm...it all depends on your situation cat-woman. Everyone has different lifestyles and social needs and what rocks the boat for someone might not work for you. Some people might come into this thread and say that they drink while some might come into this thread and tell you that they don't drink, they never hang out with people who drink alcohol and they never go to any parties where alcohol is served.
What others do though, unless you know them personally and they are part of your social circle, or you greatly respect and value their opinions, shouldn't really matter.
I personally have never been around alcohol or a drunk person in my life and inshallah hope to keep it that way but then there are some others I see who are around alcohol and drunk people but never touch the stuff. I truly respect that too. It all depends on what your beliefs and priorities are and what situation you are in.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Fret Wizard: *
You're missing the point. A person who drinks, or smokes isn't necessarily a bad person. If a person drinks, it doesn't mean he's an alcoholic who gets drunk every night. What's wrong with intermingling with the opposite sex, while in limits. Have you ever gone to a pub? It's like a restaurant, no different. It seems like you think theres a massive drunken orgy happening or something.
[/QUOTE]
No, I'm not missing the point. Actually I don't consider a person who drinks (whether every night or occasionally) a very good person, I can't stand the smell of alcohol or smoke either so there. I agree, drinking and smoking doesn't necessarily mean the person is bad but it's one of the characteristics that I don't want my friends to have(personal choice). I haven't been to a pub but I know what goes on in there. Intermingling with the opposite sex is fine if you're in your limits but how many people do you know who drink and 'stay in limits'? I don't even feel safe to be around these kinda people!
Agreed! :k: :k:
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by CurruptAngel: *
No, I'm not missing the point. Actually I don't consider a person who drinks (whether every night or occasionally) a very good person, I can't stand the smell of alcohol or smoke either so there. I agree, drinking and smoking doesn't necessarily mean the person is bad but it's one of the characteristics that I don't want my friends to have(personal choice). I haven't been to a pub but I know what goes on in there. Intermingling with the opposite sex is fine if you're in your limits but how many people do you know who drink and 'stay in limits'? I don't even feel safe to be around these kinda people!
[/QUOTE]
its a question of your morals here. If a person drinks, as much as we think its wrong, but if the person does not think its wrong and is not affecting others negatively due to his/her drinking then what is the issue. as you stated its apersonal choice, so if thats a characteristic you dont want in your friends, you will not have to deal with this dilemma of going to pubs or clubs with friends..right?
as far as knowing people who drink but stay in limits, i think there are far more people who drink and stay in limits than those who get plastered and lose control. I have been to pubs/clubs, and have worked at a club as well and know first hand.
Yup, I agree,:k: Well I was not imposing my opinion on anyone here. I just happen to know some people who went into wrong direction after visiting these type of places so you know it’s all based on my own experience and that is why I don’t think going to pubs/clubs is a good thing…
Re: hypothetical question
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by cat-woman: *
If you don't drink, would you hang around people that do? And would you go to a bar/club/party where there's free-flowing alcohol and be happy sipping on your coke/juice/water?
Is there any point being at being at an event where everyone is plastered, except for you, assuming that you enjoy the company of your friends?
[/QUOTE]
been there.. done that...
didn't drink anything, didn't smoke anything.
the self righteousness on here is annoying
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by CurruptAngel: *
how many people do you know who drink and 'stay in limits'? I don't even feel safe to be around these kinda people!
[/QUOTE]
Again, you're assuming that a person who drinks is automatically a drunk and cannot stay within limits. Having a drink doesn't mean a person is an alcoholic, and has lost his mind. Like Frauds said, there are far more people who drink and stay within limits. Don't be so quick to make judgements.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Fret Wizard: *
Again, you're assuming that a person who drinks is automatically a drunk and cannot stay within limits. Having a drink doesn't mean a person is an alcoholic, and has lost his mind. Like Frauds said, there are far more people who drink and stay within limits. Don't be so quick to make judgements.
[/QUOTE]
Well your judgment is based on your experience and mine is based on my experience and I'm sorry, I really don't believe in others' words(unless I have experienced the same) simply because what other person considers a right behaviour wouldn't neccesarily be right in my opinion. You can disagree with what I've said, I'm not trying to impose it on you guys neither am I trying to convince you because I know you have your experiences and I have mine! :)
^ I agree whole-heartedly. (Fret's last comment)
Mr Frauds, yeah I was talking about the stigma attached to desi girls. It's great that so many desi girls in NA go out and stuff, I hope they're able to stay within their limits.
As for me, I love going out and just being with my friends, don't mind if they drink...it took a whole lot of self control to hold myself back tonight. sigh I havent been partying in a long while :(
I think Niqabi makes some valid points, its all about your personal value system...there were bound to be disagreements in this thread. I just wanted to know what others thought, and basically I was looking for encouragement along my new, righteous path.