Just an exmaple Mabrook If my car breaks down I will take it to mechanic , its just common sense.
Re: Husbands-StringPuppets-why?
car repair versus MIL repair 
Re: Husbands-StringPuppets-why?
Gullible see if u can find this book "AZDAWAJEE ZINDAGI KI MUSHKILAAT AUR UN KA HUL"By MAULANA MOHAMMAD HAROON MUAAWIA.
To buy it contact
[EMAIL="[email protected]"][email protected]
or
[EMAIL="[email protected]"][email protected]
if u let me know which city u r in i can giv u the adrress of shop u can buy it from.
its a very good book that motivates u to stay positive n see all angles to domestic problems. i highly recommend it. it will save ur trip to the physcologist.
Re: Husbands-StringPuppets-why?
WRITTEN BY A MAN!!!!!!!
Care to share that how this Mulana is qualified to give advise for marital issues.
Re: Husbands-StringPuppets-why?
no he just compiled it. :)
Care to share that how this Mulana is qualified to give advise for marital issues.
Maulana means a scholar n a person well educated with islamic rules n since he's no relative of mine i still recommend this book coz i found it very unbiased
I know what Mulana means thats why I asked how does he qualify being a subsitute to a psychologist as you suggested. His experties is in islamic ruling and Gullible problem has noting to do with sharia.
Anyhoo I think I am wasiting my time here coz she ain't gonna go to any counsellor anyway.
ok Gulluble i do understand some ppl think the tricks i gave u on other thread r all drama-baazi. but i speak from experience only n i have seen the worst. i'm sure i can write a whole book on it. i'll re-emphasize somethings here again 1- if he says say sorry then say sorry even if u r completely innocent( u r doing it to gain HIS trust) 2. never ever talk to ur fil against ur mil, sil or even hubby(he'll never take ur side) 3. honest communication never works in ur situation. u hav to b diplomatic n tactful. "diamond cuts diamond" & "tit for tat" remeber that 4. do not isolate urself from ur inlaws. keep mingling even if they don't show u they like it.this is wat they want. they don't talk u talk. they don't reply u don't care. they taunt u smile.( the distant u get the united they'll b) 5. whenever ur hubby talks in favour of ur mil,sil never ever explain or give ur side of story. listen n agree or stay quiet but say nothing. (saying anything will make no diff at all.) 6. Don't raise ur kids alone. the more u share them with ur inlaws the better will b for u n them( kids bring ppl together) 7. find ppl inside inlaws that r easy to b friends with. start with them. make them ur buddies n then move ur way up the ladder from there 8. don't whine inside ur bedroom. only make him happy. do things that strengthen ur bond. don't waste a min discussing family issues in ur privacy. if he tries hush him with a killing smile n divert him.try new things, massages, fun fights, writing msg on mirror with shaving creams/lipsticks, tell jokes, dance on music watever it takes. the happier he's from u mentally, emotinally n sexually the more supportive he'll become
now u might think i want u to live under pressure n b their slave but NO. u r going to b planning for the long run. for bigger Joys u r scarifising small joys.
Dharlay se reho, apni he kero but meethi zuban rekho n jahan jhukna para for the time jhuk jayo. don't care for ur mil's mood until ur hubby says so. once he says we won't do it coz of mom change ur plan. if he feels nothing keep on with ur plan.
bring things to the level where u say nothing but ur husband sees it n takes ur stand urself. it won't happen right away ,. he might not take ur open stands for yrs to come but u'll see huge diff.
ur mil n fil won't live for ever. its u n ur kids who will be with ur hubby at the end. finally it all boils down to "ager is gher main rehna hai tu" meaning "ager meray saath rehna hai...." so u want him or u want ur mil to win over. u decide.
PS: Read HUSBUN-ALLAH-E-WA-NAIM-UL-WAKEEL, NAIMUL-MAULANA WA NAIM-UN-NASEER all the time.
WOw Mabrook, you're so patient and smart! I would never ever be able to do any of this if I was in Gullible's place....you have to be so patient to put up with all this and it's sooooo unfair too!
I don't understand one thing! Why can't a husband bear to listen to anything wrong his mother has done?? No one is perfect! If anything, he can be the only mediator between the two! I mean if your mother is wrong, your mother is wrong!! Why are you so insecure that you can't bear to listen to anything about her when its just the truth! I can't imagine putting up with a guy who KNOWS his mother is being unfair to you, yet just stays quiet or looks the other way! If only people were fair......
I know what Mulana means thats why I asked how does he qualify being a subsitute to a psychologist as you suggested. His experties is in islamic ruling and Gullible problem has noting to do with sharia. Anyhoo I think I am wasiting my time here coz she ain't gonna go to any counsellor anyway.
Bebo dear don't judge a book by its cover.first read it n then comment. He's a Maulana by his qualifications but this book covers our phsychology , marital probs in our culture and its solutions. its no quran, hadees book as u fear. though there r quotations from islamic sources here n there n emphasis on how muslim partners n parents should behave. it mostly sources. logical.Moreover he's not the writer. he compiled the book from various sources. all those r mentioned at the end of the book
Brilliant . :k: One needs lot of patience to follow up this long term plan.
Re: Husbands-StringPuppets-why?
yes patience is imp but does she hav a choice? i think she can see some diff within 2-3 months.
Re: Husbands-StringPuppets-why?
What were you going to expect when you got married? That he'll ignore the person who gave birth and took care of him his entire life and listen to some new stranger?
My friend you need to understand.
In a few years... the mother in laws would be computer savvy enough to come and claim husbands are string puppets of their beloved wives.
Ditto!
Re: Husbands-StringPuppets-why?
a friend told abt another friend who taped her mil's convo n gav the tape to her husband"ab bolo" how effective it was dunno
a friend told abt another friend who taped her mil's convo n gav the tape to her husband"ab bolo" how effective it was dunno
yaar, pata lagao how that strategy went. If you can get a hold of your friend, ask her about it. It would be interesting to know the result. It it worked.....then who knows.....it could be an option to consider for women in such situations.
Re: Husbands-StringPuppets-why?
^ Although I could see some husbands who would be soooo blind....that even concrete unquestionable evidence would not even convince them that even mommies are not always nice.
Re: Husbands-StringPuppets-why?
my friend is in pak rite now so may b later i'll ask but i just think personally boys who don't wanna stand up for their wives won't do it still after any evidence.
however my friend did say abt that other one k wo bahut he shatir aur badtameez hai. itna taiz bhi nahi hona chahiay :@: