Hi! Y some of the husbands always listen n do whatever their mothers say n don’t bother about their wives even if they r right? I mean in my case, whenever ther is any problem I share it with my hubby, he do listen to me but then after listening to hi mom he comes to me and ask me to sorry her. Although I’m not at mistake. I always talk to him politely n try to explain him n make him understand the right n wrong, he understands, but still asks me to say sorry saying “tum ne yahan rehna hai tum vhhoti ho so say sorry to Ami” y? I want to go out fir drive, my mil makes mood, n he will say we r not going. Y? Wat should I do? How do I make him realize he hurts me n does wrong? N on top of everything HE IS AN ADVOCATE still can’t do justice to me. Plz help me out.
He is an advocate. That is why you cant expect justice from him:D
On the main issue, I think that problems arise when wives share their mother-in-law problems with husbands. You should be mature enough to deal with these issues on your own. You should talk to your saas, act like a daughter, not a bahu, make her talk to you. If she gets upset, be polite, apologize if u have to, and get your point across. Try to get in her good books. Dont expect her to accept you as you are. You will have to adjust, as will she. And you being younger, are in a better position to adjust, so do it.
If you take an issue to your husband, he will give his mother the edge most of the time. He doesnt want to be caught dead taking sides between his mother and wife, but at the same time he doesnt want to be disrespectful to his mother either.
In issues like this, right or wrong is not the issue. Its a simple case of adjustment. And so long as you bypass her and take your issues to your husband, the issues will remain.
Re: Husbands-StringPuppets-why?
I try my level best to make my mil happy, she still back bites about me. Read my thread Maid Issue. Now, sil insults my parents, mil's mood is off. He is asking me to sorry his sil n mil? I wasn't even involved in the matter. It was between sil n my parents. Y I sorry?
Re: Husbands-StringPuppets-why?
So no chances of you getting your own place then? What did you decide re: the maid thread then?
Re: Husbands-StringPuppets-why?
I have to survive without maid. Now my in laws are in ZIDD can't do anything
Re: Husbands-StringPuppets-why?
Honey they are puppets anyway, its a matter of who plays the strings - mother or the wife.
Re: Husbands-StringPuppets-why?
They say If you cannot win them join them. If you cannot join them then you need to start to exert yourself. For details See some Bollywood and Lollywood movies which teach you tricks about how to deal with mean Sasoo Ma or mean soutaili ma or Zalim Mamoon , or zalim chacha or zalim choudhry.
The best trick would be if you can pretend that you have lost your mind due to zulm of your saas and nand. That might either teach that zalim shouhar of yours . If it backfires then you will at least know how to be thankful for half full glass.
Re: Husbands-StringPuppets-why?
^ mirch your joking right!
I really dont think its a good idea to complain about your MIL to your husband, it creates a divide between everyone.
Hi! Y some of the husbands always listen n do whatever their mothers say n don't bother about their wives even if they r right?
Why women always have to have an agenda? Why cant they just live in the moment ?
^ mirch your joking right!
I really dont think its a good idea to complain about your MIL to your husband, it creates a divide between everyone.
No I am not. I can fully relate to her situation. I have seen things like that happening.
I do not see any end to her misery. Her husband will not listen to her. Her MIL and SIL are mean as hell. Involving her parents does not help. Her parents get insulted and she is forced to apologize for an argument between her mother and her SIL. What recourse she has ? In a country and society she is living , nothing. There is no body who could instill some sense in her MIL's or SIL's mind. Her husband is no help either. The only recourse she has is that someone who has authority on her MIL and SIL brings them to task. Pind da choudhrey ? only if that choudrey sees the things the way she sees or some Amitabh Bachan like hero ? who helps people in these kind of situation in movies.
So Who can that be other than Allah ? Allah's mercy works in some mysterious ways.
Also the SIL , MIL and her husband are not abusing her to the extent that I would advice her to get a divorce .
So what would be my advice in this situation ? Think positively , count your blessings and pray to Allah that Allah have mercy on her and get her out of this predicament.
It is a tough one for me too. If I was in this situation my faith in Allah will be my only tool to give me some consolation.
No I do not believe in taweez or kala jadoo either which some people resort to in these kind of situations.
Re: Husbands-StringPuppets-why?
I dont understand why he should listen to you? Yea, you sleep with him, but his mother gave birth to him. Seriously, the loyalty should be obvious. He could listen to her every beck-and-command but his debt to her will be unpaid, whereas he can get another three of you without even looking back.
Stop whining and starting makine MIL-dearest your best buddy.
I dont understand why he should listen to you? Yea, you sleep with him, but his mother gave birth to him. Seriously, the loyalty should be obvious. He could listen to her every beck-and-command but his debt to her will be unpaid, whereas he can get another three of you without even looking back.
Stop whining and starting makine MIL-dearest your best buddy.
Are you kidding too ?
Re: Husbands-StringPuppets-why?
Depends on whether you are thinking of pitching this little truth to Zee-TV?
Saas be kahi bahu thi 
Re: Husbands-StringPuppets-why?
so mirch you really think girls should get tips from lollywood and bollywood!
Re: Husbands-StringPuppets-why?
yeah
cheeni bhi kabhi genna thi
so mirch you really think girls should get tips from lollywood and bollywood!
Do you have some real life tips for the situation she is in ?
Re: Husbands-StringPuppets-why?
I dont as im not married but im pretty sure lots of other people do!
Mabrook gave her fantastic advice on her other thread.
I really really dont think dramas and movies are a good place for relationship advice!
Now, that I haven't said sorry to anyone, my husband isn't talking to me. I sit all quiet, the rest of the family is chatting, laughing. Wat do I do now? My mil has all the authorities in the house. She even snubs my fil so it's useless telling him. My fil is really really a nice man but I don't think he could help me out. In the end he will also b brain washed against me by my mil sil n bil.
Re: Husbands-StringPuppets-why?
Your brainwashing mil reminded me of Dr. Evil.
Poor you! :hinna:
I dont understand why he should listen to you? Yea, you sleep with him, but his mother gave birth to him. Seriously, the loyalty should be obvious. He could listen to her every beck-and-command but his debt to her will be unpaid, whereas he can get another three of you without even looking back.
Stop whining and starting makine MIL-dearest your best buddy.
haha best freakin advice