You should be able to share major things with your parents if you wish to, that's your right; however what's offensive is how you feel your wife deserves any less love and respect than your mother. It's really sad that desi guys seem to think being loyal and loving to thier wife means you're slapping ur mother in th face (figuratively, speaking). Mother and wife are two different women, they have different responsibilities and duties towards you but both are equally deserving of your love.
Believe it or not, a woman is capable of providing unconditional love to her husband. I've had nasty experiences with guys but I don't go around thinking every single one of em is a secret rapist or pervert.
reality, woman thinks man is cheating (he isn't) she wants a divorce, takes the house the car and all he spend his life making.
so i think there should be somethings left alone.
For the record: I did not mean tell every asepect of life to your parents; obviously your wife is going to know more about your day to day life than your parents cause you share a room with her. My point was that MAJOR issues such as financial related activity (i.e. investments, investments back home, major purchases etc, etc) should not be kept a secret. Parents should be asked for advise and opinions for these matters. This keeps them involved in your lives and prevents the feeling of uselessnes.
InshAllah, there won't be major differences between my wife and my parents but if there are we will solve it in a respectful manner. Batameezi I will not stand for; and just cause I get married doesn't mean my wife is equal or at a higher stauture than my parents. It will be told to her that Parents come first; this is the way I feel, My parents have done so much for my upbringing that I will not leave them out in the cold once I get married.
now seeeeee...the way you reworded it makes u sound so much more intelligent. You dont sound like half the loser u did in the other post.
I agree especially with what you said about parents feeling useful when you involve them in your life. However if you are living separate from your parents i dont think there is a need to disclose detailed information about your finances. Asking for advice on such matters (as you mentioned) before is a great idea because your parents are wise and have more experience then you. Now with that said ....that doesnt mean you listen to them and ignore your wife's advice. You have to use common sense and go with whatever is best for you and your family.
Also....please please for the love of Allah dont tell your wife that your parents come first. They should both come first. You should never have to choose. EVER!
Yes, I will trust people who love me unconditionally more than people who love me conditionally. Looking at divorce rates in this country, any man who is dumb enough to disclose everything to his wife deseves to have his wife take him to the cleaners.
If my wife plays the quid pro quo on me, like, not disclose her financial secrets, I am okay with it since I am not supposed to take my wife's wealth anyway.
Reminder: If you throw your mom out of the house and curse her out, she will cry and make dua that Allah doesn't punish you for your mistreatment (unconditional love)
Do the same to your wife, she will cut your di*ck off and shove it in that funky @$$ of urs and with that she will only have just gotten warmed up (conditional)
End of thread.
Dope it's pretty sad marrying someone knowing their love is conditional dont you think? it's best never to get married if you have that mentality.
AE its not really the telling ur parents everything that’s offensive, I do agree with him too but that some guys feel being loyal and loving to their wives is somewhat wrong to the parents and that she is less deserving of his respect and love :no: is very offensive
nobody said that Sara, overtime a bond between husband and wife becomes stronger and then there are no secrets left. but everyone should go in with some care for themselves
it’s sad that some guys feel that way. They need to know that you can love both and be loyal to both. I know many husbands that do a great job in doing that.
Exactly what did u find wrong with what Nia or Ira suggested? Alot of those giving him advice are older and more educated than him.. you never seem to give advice, just come and mock everyone.
My cousin’s wife got naraz with me for agreeing with my cousin that she does not HAVE to know how much my cousin makes if he is providing for her children and herself. She said, ‘agar aapke ye khayalaat haiN tou mae Amrika mae aapkay liye laRki nahi dhoondouN gi’.
But then again, she is the type of woman who banned, chal chayyaN chayyaN song for my cousin because some molvi in Pakistan issued a fatwa that the song was blasphemous and any Muslim that willingly listens to the song will have his nikkah nullified. I found out about this because the first day when my cousin and I sat in his car, he took the cassette out from under the mat and played it. He told me when I asked him what the tape was doing under the mat.
So you should tell your mom about the burning sensation in your wee wee? You obviously have issues trusting a wife. When you become an adult and get married, usually, she's the one you'll turn to first (granted it's a normal marriage). You sleep with her, had your kids with her, and she takes care of your needs even though you're a totally capable adult. Even the law states there is something special called husband-wife confidentiality.
