Furqan, I know what I am like. I would share everything with my hubby, heart, soul, secrets, thoughts, every little thing. Even things he probably has no desire to know, I would tell him.
I think dynamics change when you get married. Right now, my mom is truly my best friend in the whole wide world. I will continue to love her and share things with her, but I think after I get married, I may not be able to tell her everything. She worries a lot about me and I don’t want to give her any additional stress by sharing every single little detail with her. I will share what I need to share with my parents, but continue to love them unconditionally. (for my ammi)
If God forbid I get divorced, I think I will keep his secrets … but, it all depends on the nature of the breakup. If we love and respect each other, I mostlikely will stay quiet on personal things he may have shared with me.
a small amount of what u say is right, but what kind of idiot says what u said below.
she may be ure wife, but but her biological mom will come before ure mom everytime, she may have total respect for ure mom, but don’t delude ureself, ure mother is her mother in law, and doesn’t come anywhere close to her mom, she’s in a situation where she has to put up with ure mom, u can’t expect a girl to love ure parents in the same way as her own, they didn’t raise her,as long as u both respect each others parents, thats all that counts.
And if she wants to be involved with anything her REAL family are doing, or wants to help her family out with a problem, who are u to say 'this is ure new family, don’t concern ureself with ure old family’s matters…
FORGIVE ME MODZ, FOR I MAY HAVE SINNED…so sue me…another 10%?
Its been said that girls are bad at keeping secret. so i will start with lil ones if she kept them well then i'll open up but as danny has said some secrets are better off unsaid.
i think a man should not put a whole lot of trust in his wife. The only things I can think of that can/should be shared with wife are maybe some sexual info. Like what position, who holds the whip or who dresses up as a nurse. OTher than that, keep it to yourself. It will save you a lot of headache come future.
I wasn't gonna post in this thread anymore but the sweet responses by the people here have forced my hand:
For the record: I did not mean tell every asepect of life to your parents; obviously your wife is going to know more about your day to day life than your parents cause you share a room with her. My point was that MAJOR issues such as financial related activity (i.e. investments, investments back home, major purchases etc, etc) should not be kept a secret. Parents should be asked for advise and opinions for these matters. This keeps them involved in your lives and prevents the feeling of uselessnes.
InshAllah, there won't be major differences between my wife and my parents but if there are we will solve it in a respectful manner. Batameezi I will not stand for; and just cause I get married doesn't mean my wife is equal or at a higher stauture than my parents. It will be told to her that Parents come first; this is the way I feel, My parents have done so much for my upbringing that I will not leave them out in the cold once I get married.
depends on the secret. some secrets can be shared and some can't. if u know ur wife very well and think her tummy is not too small to keep a secret then share it otherwise take it with u to ur grave.
Parents' love = unconditional
Wife/spouse = conditional
No.Brainer.
Yes, I will trust people who love me unconditionally more than people who love me conditionally. Looking at divorce rates in this country, any man who is dumb enough to disclose everything to his wife deseves to have his wife take him to the cleaners.
If my wife plays the quid pro quo on me, like, not disclose her financial secrets, I am okay with it since I am not supposed to take my wife's wealth anyway.
Reminder: If you throw your mom out of the house and curse her out, she will cry and make dua that Allah doesn't punish you for your mistreatment (unconditional love)
Do the same to your wife, she will cut your di*ck off and shove it in that funky @$$ of urs and with that she will only have just gotten warmed up (conditional)
Anil, Dope--that's pretty sad if you go into marriage thinking ur wife will not hesitate to screw you over the first chance she gets and deserves less love and respect htan your mother. If that's how you feel about the opposite sex, then you're both better off alone than to make some poor grl miserable.
You should be able to share major things with your parents if you wish to, that's your right; however what's offensive is how you feel your wife deserves any less love and respect than your mother. It's really sad that desi guys seem to think being loyal and loving to thier wife means you're slapping ur mother in th face (figuratively, speaking). Mother and wife are two different women, they have different responsibilities and duties towards you but both are equally deserving of your love.
Believe it or not, a woman is capable of providing unconditional love to her husband. I've had nasty experiences with guys but I don't go around thinking every single one of em is a secret rapist or pervert.
(for my ammi)
…if you consider your wife as inferior per se…it’s good you’re still single:wink:…and for ever!