husband wife secret....

[smilyface4u]

Re: husband wife secret....

this is sick
gossip wanna beez
he said she said they said
want to destroy a nations its poeple its culture have them all start gossiping
about this and that or the other .. and next thing you know they are all confused cause no one know his her theirs or others perpective shooting from
hip what astonishing is who is setting the norm .....oh well i guess the worlds chatting but no one is listening. MOB screaming for attention i kinda like it :)

[Iconoclast]

Re: husband wife secret....

@Furqan

can a man trust his wife to keep secrets from his family..things like secret property, money, smoking habbits..or whatever..?

lets say, if both get divorced....what should the husband do, if she tries to black mail you and spills the beans to your family about ur secrets?

I have known a couple of cases like these, where a person named some property to his wife for tax evasion etc and then wife divorced and man was left bankrupt.

[Ira]

Re: husband wife secret....

Furqan, i would say that it depends on the person. I would think anyone in their sane mind would not blackmail you no matter what happens, divorce, separation etc. But if the wife is nasty to begin with, i would also think twice abt sharing secrets.

Keep in mind what is secrets to you as well. Smoking habits, financials etc dont seem like a big deal to me. What if your parents come to knwo abt them? Its not the end of the world. Now if it is much more severe than that, i would be worried as well.

[Iconoclast]

Re: husband wife secret....

@Anil Khan

I've seen a lot in my twenty years and I know what it means to respect parents and to give them every importance. Hiding major issues from them is a slap in the face. I still say if its important to tell you're wife its important to tell your parents. InshAllah I have every intention of keeping my parents very close to me and I WILL NOT let my wife dictate what I should and shouldn't tell them. My parents come FIRST and she SECOND.

I've said my peace,

Allah Nigeban

You know Anil thats the attitude that may cause some trouble for you in life later on.

It seems that already you have put your parents "against" ur wife and have decided that u r going to favour your parents, even worse, some desi men are itching to show that they prefer parents over the wife and do stupid things to prove that.

I had similar thoughts like you for quite sometime, but as i exposed to more social problems of people and families around me, i found that everyone has his/her place.

Your wife cannot be like ur parents and ur parents cannot be like ur wife.

The most important thing for a real man to do is, to take charge of his life himself. Not to be pampered by the parents nor to be dictated by his/her wife, though no harm in consulting both parents/wife, but in the end MAN has to decide what he/she thinks is best for him.

[Ira]

Re: husband wife secret....

to Anil: when i was 20 yrs old, i used to think the same , that i know a lot and etc etc. But trust me, that was nothing as compared to what i know now. And I hope to continue this learning part throughout my life. WHen we think we know everything , is when we get into trouble.

Life is a constant learning experience. This is not to offend you or point fingers at you since i now realise how young you are, but trust me life is a lot more twisted than we think it is :) Try not to jump to conclusions and keep your eyes as well as ears open before judging anyone, even your wife who you dont know is going to be. Good luck :)

[Sara516]

Re: husband wife secret....

@Anil Khan

Sorry to say but it shows what kind of son you are.

I'm sorry to say but puttar you are a jerk.

[nia_khan]

Re: husband wife secret....

There should be no secrets between husband and wife. I will be sharing my soul with that person how can i possibly hide something from them.

Anil- You are right one should not hide anything from their parents they should love them and care for them at the same time. But there are people out there who don't have good relationship with their parents. You cannot at that piont reveal your deepest secrets and other things etc.

Anil - in past 20 years of your wonderful life you probably woke up after turning 16 [the earliest]. My friend Experiences in life probably tought you a lot of things but those who are elder then you don't assume for a single second that they are stupid. You never know what they are capable of. At your age everything thinks they have seen the entire world and they know everything.

Age and Experience has alot to do with each other. There was a reason why Prophet PBUH received Wahi during his middle age I believe He was 40 at that point - Please correct me here guys if i am wrong].

[Rukhsarbibi]

Re: husband wife secret…

@sadzzz

^ theres is nothing wrong in trusting ur wife… it doesnt mean u trust her more than ur parents, its just u find it easier to tell her things more so than ur parents.. its more about communication then trust..

ur spouse (depending on how much u love one another) is always there for u, and hence its easier being able to confide in them then it is with ur parents… I have no respect for people who DONT trust one another.. and dont share personal feelings and secrets..

good answer sadzz :k:

[rimsh_1]

Re: husband wife secret…

@sadzzz

people who give little or no importance to a relationship called marriage should never be married.. if they think that sharing presonal secrets and information with their spouse is disrespecting their parents… well then… i dont know what to say..

i agree :k:

Furqan: if she loved and respected you, she won’t spill your beans even after the divorce.

[Gemini_the_Great]

Re: husband wife secret....

it all boils down to one thing.. how comfortable you are with your spouse or your parents for that matter.

There are a few things I like to talk to my mom about but there are some that I would better keep between me and my husband.

Overall, why in the world a wife, even after separation, would go out and spill his beans regarding how much money he has, or if he smokes or not.. way too immature to begin with!

[Furqan]

Re: husband wife secret…

@rimsh

i agree :k:

Furqan: if she loved and respected you, she won’t spill your beans even after the divorce.

great answer

[Muzna]

Re: husband wife secret....

Let me ask a question here:

Anil,

Do you have an elder brother with a wife? One that you, perhaps, don't get along with?

Furqan,

It all depends on what the person is like. If she is a vengeful person, then you may be in for a rocky road after the divorce.

If the feelings of wanting to go your own way are mutual and both of you just want to get on with your lives on your own, then you may have nothing to fear.

[ashtray]

Re: husband wife secret....

It is so sad people come here, ask a question and then pick a target based on his her answer/s and start bashing. Stop ganging up on Anil, he was asked a question and he replied to it as he felt.

[Sara516]

Re: husband wife secret....

^ Its sadder when one person makes assumptions about how someone is, i.e. pretty much calling Furq a bad son.. that was very uncalled for.

[nia_khan]

Re: husband wife secret....

ashtray- some of us have white hair and some of us didnt stand under sun all day long to get that color. Sometimes age, sometimes experiences have taught us a lot of things.

We were all trying to give Anil a simple advice. Just as a friend or elder brother/sister. There is NO reason to be upset. If Anil can learn something from us then why not ?
Its call GUPSHUP!!

[ashtray]

Re: husband wife secret....

Let Furqan deal with Anil then, he is perfectly capable. Most of you ganging up on Anil are not doing that for your love for Furqan, but your disagreement with what Anil said. Khul ke samne aao, dont use that Furqan excuse.

[AnGeL_EyEs]

Re: husband wife secret....

@Anil Khan

I've seen a lot in my twenty years and I know what it means to respect parents and to give them every importance. Hiding major issues from them is a slap in the face. I still say if its important to tell you're wife its important to tell your parents. InshAllah I have every intention of keeping my parents very close to me and I WILL NOT let my wife dictate what I should and shouldn't tell them. My parents come FIRST and she SECOND.

I've said my peace,

Allah Nigeban

yea yea yea....guys like you are ALL talk before marriage...just you wait til ur wife comes!! rolls eyes

back to the topic.....i think that it's important to talk to each other about things. You should trust your wife completely. If for some reason the marriage ends and you are afraid that she will tell your parents everything then it's best you tell em before she does.

[Muslim_Met_Fan]

Re: husband wife secret....

It would probably be a lot easier telling my wife I want to smoke than my mom. But that's just an example. I don't want to kill myself slowly.

I don't think keeping small secrets from your parents is disrespecting. We all do it. If I hid something that I know my mom would feel she should know then that's disrespecting.

As I get older, my mom will know what I do with my money and all the other financial plans. I am her son and it's my responsibilty to take care of her.

[nia_khan]

Re: husband wife secret…

@ashtray

Let Furqan deal with Anil then, he is perfectly capable. Most of you ganging up on Anil are not doing that for your love for Furqan, but your disagreement with what Anil said. Khul ke samne aao, dont use that Furqan excuse.

No one is using furqan as an excuse. Where on earth you are coming up with those type of ideas young man?

Obviously we disagree with Anil here and It will take him few years to understand.

Ashtray *puts some cigarettes in him- digest these for now *grin

[Sara516]

Re: husband wife secret....

@ashtray

Let Furqan deal with Anil then, he is perfectly capable. Most of you ganging up on Anil are not doing that for your love for Furqan, but your disagreement with what Anil said. Khul ke samne aao, dont use that Furqan excuse.

Im not the only one who "disagrees" and finds problems wiht his attitude and what he says.. its not just giving his opinion, but getting personal and nasty with some ppl (includin me).. he just disguises that nastiness with phrases like "with all due respect" "no disrespect intended" :p