On a scale from 1 to 10 how pissed would be a guy if you found out that she deliberately sabataged Birth Control?
(concept of asking forgiveness is easier than asking permission)
I guess gaining trust back would be an issue.
Very pissed indeed. If she would of just asked him once or twice for a baby then dropped it, fine. Now he knows she really really wants one, if she jus skipped the pill and oh what do you know wifeys preggers, He would deffo get very pissed! But its her choice... whats more important? Hubbys trust, or a baby?
You know we are all forgetting one big thing here and that's every living creature comes in world from Allah's consent. Infact Allah decides the rizq of the person. I am not saying that they should go for it but I think Allah provides the rizq for everyone so who knows that Allah will increase their rizq when the child comes in the world. I know I worried a lot when I got pregnant but Alhumdulliah ever since we had my daughter Allah has provided us with enough rizq to live a healthy life even though my husband is a student. Sometimes Allah has better plans for us then what we are thinking :)
You know we are all forgetting one big thing here and that's every living creature comes in world from Allah's consent. Infact Allah decides the rizq of the person. I am not saying that they should go for it but I think Allah provides the rizq for everyone so who knows that Allah will increase their rizq when the child comes in the world. I know I worried a lot when I got pregnant but Alhumdulliah ever since we had my daughter Allah has provided us with enough rizq to live a healthy life even though my husband is a student. Sometimes Allah has better plans for us then what we are thinking :)
right on the money and Allah has also asked us to use our brain and do what you THINK is right and leave everything else to Allah and in this situation its a NO BRAINER that girl should not get pregnant
Well the poster did say the girl earns enuff to provide for everyone, By then hubby should find himself a job when she needs to take her maturnity leave.
Well the poster did say the girl earns enuff to provide for everyone, By then hubby should find himself a job when she needs to take her maturnity leave.
I say go for it ;)!!
yeah ker doo pragnent phir jub everyday job per jana parey ga tu tu hayee oyee yahaan dard ho raha hai ..wahaan dard ho raha hai kertey rehna :)
***I think its very responsible of him to not insist on having kids when he knows he is not able to provide for them at this particular moment.
She is 30 , so again , she has time and getting pregnant when her husband is jobless is adding to an already burdened household considering today's day and age and expectations.
I understand the guy's situation...He can't take care of the baby and be actively looking for a job at the same time plus if he's desi then maybe he's just not comfortable with the idea of being a stay at home dad!
They should have baby..he is just being difficult.
She is 32 and has decent job.
Not having bay without strong reason is not a good idea.
Baby brings its own luck too. I have seen great change after couple has new baby, new job, moving to better place or promotion.
No adult suffers and no kid go hungry with two lawyer parents.
And breast feeding issue is just a frivilous issue. Formula is also over-rated. They can feed both formula and mothers milk if need be. I know a woman who pumps at work, puts it in the refrigerator at work, husband daily comes lunch time and picks it up. Works fine.
CM - you can can see it both ways. If she lost her job - no one would understand her desire to find another job before she had a baby. It's okay for men to be that focused on their career alone while a woman has to look at other things in life. hypocritical (yes indeed)
What if...
They have jobs, good living and they they have baby and after a year or so, they get lose their jobs, will they throw out the baby or what???
For many women pregnancy can be very hard. Many women experience extreme sickness and are unable to work. Similarly giving birth to a baby is not an easy thing , many women goes into post-partum depression and other physical problems (like difficult healing) after delivery . May be the "husband" over here is thinking about all these issues. What if she is unable to work after she gets pregnant ? what is she is unable to work after baby is born ? Just imagine if any of these scenarios actually happens then what will they both do ? They'll be stuck. Taking care of a baby is neither simple nor easy. It's just how I look at things from the guy's point of view.
I have not read all of the posts, but here is what I think.
At first many husbands are not ready, but they need a big push. I mean she can wait if she was in her early 20' but somewhere after 30' the biological clock is really ticking and it gets harder and harder to concieve the more time goes by. So and to worry about job or no job, what if someone has a job and they get pregnant and then he loses it, there is no garantie for a job, you should have a backup plan, that is either cut costs to survive or some savings for such time and lastly, Allah has given each kids its own rozi, that is a kid brings blessings with it, in many cases, jobless have found jobs as the kids were born, or were promoted, gotten security, I have never heard a case of other way around, so 9 months is a long time, if they get pregnant, its a long time to get things in order.
In our case, my husband landed a well secured job with a multinational 2 months before our first child was born, that was just in time I left for maternity.
She wants a baby NOW because her biological clock is ticking.
He does not. He got laid off from his job as a lawyer a year ago.
She thinks it's a great time because he can actually take care of the baby while he's at home looking for a job.
**
He does not. He's okay with getting pregnant soon AFTER he finds a job. **
Do you think he's wasting precious fertitle time?
OR it has to with that's he's scared and insecure that he is NOT able to provide for his baby and the family.
Or that being at home with a baby while his wife works is JUST not what he's not willing to do.
Call Oprah, show tummy, cash check, problem solved!!!!
No adult suffers and no kid go hungry with two lawyer parents.
lawyers are dime a dozen in the US. most of them don't make much. and its not all money - stress of being out of a job for almost a year and to plan to be out of your profession for another year or more - no sensible guy will want that.
In reply to original post...some guys are not kid friendly so they don't really think about becoming fathers. The way my sister convinced her hubby to have a kid was by constantly talking about babies :P I mean not in an annoying way--but like walking through a store "Wouldn't these shoes be so cute on our baby one day Inshallah?" "I hope my parents kept all my disney movies for our baby to watch one day" Just planting the idea firmly-WE WILL HAVE A BABY- made him warm up to it to the point where he was saying things too!! like "We should by a family car to fit the babyseat for the baby one day.." So when she said "lets have a baby" he was like yesh. :) Start planting the thought early- give it a year or so...
you know what I mean.