I've tried to be very clear. We even brought our parents into this and his mother told him he was treating me poorly.
I was born in the states and my husband had been here since he was 16. So we met here.
So he's an FOB.
Things like this usually happen when one person is of different magnitude level.
You know what i am trying to say.
He might have spent years in the States but his thinking/mentality still portrays about the pind back home.
I really hope things goes well for you.
If there's anything that i can do, you let me know.
:)
I'm dependent on him because he supplies the medical insurance (I'm chronically seriously ill). And I can't support myself. I can't even barely walk right now because of a spinal injury, and I'm handicapped due to it.
There are times when he's supportive. And** I tend to equate monetary support as love (paying for my food, shelter, etc).** But I just can't help but feel that this isn't how it should be. I have a history of abuse in my life and I don't think I can discern what real love is.
I don't want a divorce. I want to stay with him and I want things to change. I just don't see how that's going to happen.
I happen to believe that it is the husbands DUTY to provide food and shelter etc, I wouldn't feel indebted to him, I would just think he is doing his Islamic duty as a husband. So don't feel like u owe him anything for that, that's what husbands r for.
U should enjoy being a kept woman! I know it sounds crazy, but think about it, at the moment u cannot work bcos of you health, so u may as well not fight it and allow yourself to fully take advantage of it. You owe nothing to your husband, he owes it to u to take care of u in this way.
Do u think that u must b supporting yourself even after u get married? I don't think that, but yes I do work for most of the time.
He changes his mind often, for big and small things. He offered to take me to NYC a while ago and as we were leaving he changed his mind. It makes me insane. I can't deal with a lack of integrity. It's one of the biggest things that upset me.
As for the abuse, it's a complex issue. But he knows I rely on him, and so do my parents. They've told me to deal with it until I'm stable enough to be on my own if he doesn't change. I'm handicapped right now and I can't support myself at all. And he uses this to control me. I have asserted myself (I'm actually a VERY opinionated and aggressive, independent female), but with mere survival hanging over my head (I've been homeless before, I would rather die that do that again), I've gotta deal with all of it.
I'm just SO angry that I told my friend it was ok and HE even told her it was ok and now he's changed his mind? This not only reflects on ME as if I were lying or changing MY mind, it makes me feel worse because she has opened her place to me so many times. My friends mean the world to me.
r u handicapp handicapp... or just sayin it to show ure unable to do somethin???
I had to read all the posts to understand what is going on . He is being insulting to you. You are dependent on his financial support. Your School discriminated against you . Your parents gave you an ultimatum to get married on go out on the street. Were your parents really so selfish that they were willing to kick their sick daughter out ? He is abusive too. Who was abusive when the police came to your home , you or him ? Who called to police ?
You suffered abuse at the hand of your parents or some one else in the past ?
If you were sick and handicapped and he was financially stable , why did he marry you ? Was it arranged marriage or you two knew each other before you got married ?
Is your friend good looking and pretty or just average girl ?
There is so much more information needed before right kind of advise can be given , it is not an open and shut situation.
It is your right to keep all this information to you and do not provide any of it. But I am still at a loss to give any advise based on all the information provided so far. If you do not need my 2 cents that is OK too. I will pray to Allah for your well being.
