Re: How?
in fact id go mad if they decided to postpone for me...no way...just get her married and outta here...
Re: How?
dang woman! 2 kids in 2 years? you ARE too close! 
Re: How?
Every unmarried man should read these threads and remember thats what you will have to endure.
Are you going through depression? It often happens during pregnancy. I have needy days too! But I try to busy myself, as I have no other half - but in terms of demanding time from friends and family.
I think you should do same, find a hobby that makes you escape reality, will work wonders even for few hours a day - every other day
Re: How?
*His sister has lived with him her whole life..why do women do that? make such comparisons? they don't even make sense because God made all these different relationships and each one of them is different and love btw them is different too. * .
ur comparison about siblings havign lived with one another for much longer doesnt hold much value either... me thinks. It's not a proper argument at all...
Re: How?
Oh Nadz Nadz Nadz! You seem to have the same issues again and again and unless you want to keep having said issues for the rest of your married life, i think you need to look hard at and work on your insecurities.
Like a few people here have said, your relationship with hubs is way different to his relationship with his sister or mum etc. Maybe he doesn't always take you somewhere when you ask, or doesn't give you his last Rolo, but that doesn't mean he loves you less or finds you less important than his sister. You need to start believing this, woman!!
When you return to Pakistan after you've had your baby, i think you should give Jolie's idea of tutoring some serious consideration. I think you have too much time on your hands that you spend thinking and being miserable in. Only YOU can make yourself feel happy in terms of your self esteem and confidence, you shouldn't rely too much on your relationship with your husband for this. So even if you aren't motivated, make yourself busy, force yourself if neccessary!
Lastly, even after your SIL is married, and she's gone from the house, she's still going to remain someone very important to your hubs. She's always going to be in his life, i think it would help you a great deal if you tried to get to know her better, if you became good friends with her, maybe ask your hubby to help you do this cos it may make you feel less jealous of her and your hubs.
Soon after i got married, i hate to admit it but i felt a little jealous of my sil in too, she's the youngest in her family and her two bros(including hubs of course)dote on her. I knew that it was just my own insecurities coming into play though. Now that i've grown up lol, i love her to pieces, we get on very well, and i don't have those petty issues anymore. I recommend you try and love your sil too, after all, she's not just your hubby's little sister now, she's yours too. Best of luck!
Re: How?
Trying to reason with you is like trying to reason with a brick wall, Nadz. Maybe even a wall will learn faster. You're in this cycle where you vent like crazy....and then come back and say how it wasn't as big a deal as you had first thought it to be......so in your first rant you paint your husband in a negative light....and then you come back and make him appear nicer (maybe from your own guilt of making him look like a bad person)...and then you complain about your own jealousies. Cycle repeats.
Re: How?
yes she getting married in december.
its hard to just give and give especially when im alone here and i feel lost. but i do anyway, i do try to always be the first person to make amends after a fight or whatever, i do try, harder than him i think.
oh dear just few months..maybe her brother thought in few months his sister wont be there, so he might like her to stay happy at her last few months at her parents place
I think you should try to get alone well with the SIL..imagine you at your parents house, and your bhabi does the same thing with you..how would you feel? if you can be nice with your sisters then why not your SIL..
I know sometimes we humans feel jealous from others but then we should try to understand that everyone life is not same and no one is perfect..dont compare your life with others or else your life will become hell..as there is a saying...
dosro ka mahil dekh kar apna jhopra mat jalao
Re: How?
naz, maybe you should just blog?
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Nadz -
**
Solution#1:** Please read the book named "Men are from mars & women are from venus", it will give you great advise on how to handle your husband and you will be able to understand his point of view. Also, if you do get time read books & movies even if you dont feel like.
Solution#2: You're going out of country next month anyway and you will come back after 6 months too that is also when your sis in law will be getting married. So just for 1 single month let it be as is. Just be patient and dont poke hubby's head with sis-you comparisons.
Solution#3: When you go to UK, near your child's birth ask him to come there to be with you. When he is there may be you could go out with him the same way for a few days and get back on the same emotional level.
Solution#4: Dont hover over his head, keep yourself busy & aloof, he will come back to you. Just don't think about it and keep so busy with your child, your in-laws, household chores, internet, movies, books etc. that you don't get time to think.
Re: How?
Every unmarried man should read these threads and remember thats what you will have to endure.
honestly, thats wat i was thinking of while reading the thread ...:(
Re: How?
Trying to reason with you is like trying to reason with a brick wall, Nadz. Maybe even a wall will learn faster. You're in this cycle where you vent like crazy....and then come back and say how it wasn't as big a deal as you had first thought it to be......so in your first rant you paint your husband in a negative light....and then you come back and make him appear nicer (maybe from your own guilt of making him look like a bad person)...and then you complain about your own jealousies. Cycle repeats.
Thank Gid that you are not her husband.
Re: How?
I wonder how many years ZK has been in a relationship in her young life to be so insightful?
Its not the years that matter but your want to learn and to live a balanced life.
Come now Stoppits, having a relationship with one's Barbie and Ken dolls is as real as one makes it and can last FOREVER! :)
Chalo theek hai, whtever you say. It's atleast better than thinking of ones self as a barbie and treating your husband as ken even after being in the real situation :( I feel sorry for you guys!
Re: How?
I don't think any of you know each other personally so why not drop the personal attacks & just focus on what you're doing i.e. advising Nadz and let her decide what advise she wants to take.
Peace -
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when poster didnt find anything logical to share thts where he/she start personal attacks instead of appreciating other's point of view
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Here's a piece of advise that if you are able to use, may make the situation a bit better for you and to your advantage. When your sister in law tells him to go out and get something for her, or even if he decides to go out for ice cream for her, just go out with him as well. And since you are already out with him, maybe you can convince him to go somewhere, just the two of you, for a short while as well. Could be worth a shot.
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You have a baby ... you have another one on the way and you act like a baby yourself..... I really feel sorry for your hubby as he is dealing with someone who manages to make a mountain out of a mole hill
Re: How?
Ok :k:.
Nadz, i apologise if any of what i said was offensive to you but believe me that was not my intention. I don’t know you or your inlaws so its not like i would want to take sides. I was only giving my views based on what i have learnt from life after observing so many married people around me. And if you read it with a positive mind, you should be able to make out that the intention is to only make sure you don’t ruin your married life.
Re: How?
he says he has to treat us all the same, he cant treat one better than other, as in if he takes me out he feels obliged to take his sis out...wtf....why?
AND HIS MUM DOES do petty little lies and she wont ever appreciate anything, i get up and make sehri although im not fasting myself, and she doesnt even have the sense to be atleast appreciative, seeing as she made a big deal of telling me once how she was preg and ill and still she made sehri at her inlaws, if her own daughter has even a minor headache she goes all out to look after her. im preg, and sick, yet shes not too bothered, she does tlike me lieing down and resting, and she tells all sorts of lil lies and i know shes trying to turn him against me in little thingslike oh she wakes up late....and make a big deal out of it...
Re: How?
Nadz - ** Solution#1:** Please read the book named "Men are from mars & women are from venus", it will give you great advise on how to handle your husband and you will be able to understand his point of view. Also, if you do get time read books & movies even if you dont feel like.
Solution#2: You're going out of country next month anyway and you will come back after 6 months too that is also when your sis in law will be getting married. So just for 1 single month let it be as is. Just be patient and dont poke hubby's head with sis-you comparisons.
Solution#3: When you go to UK, near your child's birth ask him to come there to be with you. When he is there may be you could go out with him the same way for a few days and get back on the same emotional level.
Solution#4: Dont hover over his head, keep yourself busy & aloof, he will come back to you. Just don't think about it and keep so busy with your child, your in-laws, household chores, internet, movies, books etc. that you don't get time to think.
all solutions are fine, except 3, my due date is same as her wedding date i think,.i think they are marrying in jan not december. and husband wants me ideally to stay here for delivery so he can be here but i dnt want to, and itl be hard for him to come at delivery time and then come again 3 months later to pick me up.....so hel just come in april/may to get me.....and im not too worried about him not being there. thats the least of my worries.....
reading the book-ok i will. but thing is he was more attentive im sure before. he was still lazy and i still had to beg him to take me out, but atleast he did so. here, theres nowhere to go and he admitted he feels guilty/obliged to take others out to if he takes me out....which makes me angry. he said we can go alone, but then il have to treat others same.....