Re: How to deal with my ex husband
No one is telling her to remarry, just wanted to clear the mosconception.
Re: How to deal with my ex husband
Pakistani men once divorced are just arseholes unfortunately.
My wife has a divorced friend & her husband used to come over whenever he felt like, stayed for hours and hours. You just cant kick them out.
Basically, they are losers & take everyone down with them.
How many divorced Pakistani men do you know that behave this way?
Re: How to deal with my ex husband
How many divorced Pakistani men do you know that behave this way?
OK, theyre all angels. Happy?
Re: How to deal with my ex husband
OK, theyre all angels. Happy?
So you're assuming in all divorces the men are to blame?
Re: How to deal with my ex husband
Nope.
kuch log kissi haal main khush nahin…
Re: How to deal with my ex husband
.
Re: How to deal with my ex husband
Reha you always have a point.
Re: How to deal with my ex husband
Unwelcome situation remains for the sister.
The only people who can advise her in reality are those who have been through such situations. Unless you have had an ex-husband enter your home as if he is still married to you, it's going to be nigh on impossible to empathise with the sister & what she is going through.
But as an individual with a bit of worldly experience, I'd suggest that you arrange to meet your husband, without any of the children present (ideally not in your home!), and tell him it's time to lay down a few ground rules.
1) NO MORE visits to the home other than pick up/drop off the children (or if he is with his mother - that's your call) - you are no longer married & dont feel comfortable with him being there, especially coming in and relaxing as if he was still your husband
2) NO MORE TOUCHING etc - that's basically sexual assault in my eyes
3) No more nights out etc. If you continue then you are actually (in his warped mind), giving him the go-ahead to touch you inappropriately & in his mind he thinks 'yep, she still wants me'
The thing is, he has earned the right to sit & wait in the car (I am inferring that he has an nasty/aggressive/violent streak) from you have said.
Dont rush it by trying too much too soon. Get the above sorted & the rest should hopefully fall into place in time.
Above all, STAY STRONG & Good luck!! Save your niceness for your friends & children!
Re: How to deal with my ex husband
Thank you so much for your advice my friends. I know exactly what to do with regards to visitation rights.
God bless you all x
Re: How to deal with my ex husband
That means all marriage counselors have messed up married life, all financial advisers are billionaires and all doctors carry every possible disease they treat people for. I knew it.
Re: How to deal with my ex husband
My whole married life was spent trying to please him on every occasion. That's why when he comes round, I automatically change and find myself changed into the 'wife' mode and I find myself waiting hand and foot on him. It's the way I've become and when his mum comes round, even more so. There was one time when our youngest daughter was just two years old, he came to see the kids and made a pass at me. I felt sick for days after that and told to never do that again. When he suggested the Eid dinner, I said no because people might see us together and they'd gossip. He went on about us getting back together again and he actually put his hand on his genitals and made a point that he was sexually frustrated and that really pissed me off. Thank god the kids didn't see that.
the children know I have no intentions of remarrying him and yes, I do hate confrontations because he has a way of making me look and sound silly. I have told him that I don't want to remarry and for the kids sake, we should just remain as we are, civil and courteous. We don't have to keep meeting at my place. I have made it clear but he still thinks he's in with a chance! My attire is modest, no make up, nothing flashy. I always try to keep the conversations strictly related to the kids and I don't sit with him while he's with the kids.
i admit that I have made mistakes is being too nice but that's just my nature. I do feel that he's taken advantage of my generosity and now it's really starting to bug me.
Move at least 5000 miles away from him.
Re: How to deal with my ex husband
waah…kabhi kabhi aap bhii beKhayaalii meN “heere motii” bol jaate haiN! 
Re: How to deal with my ex husband
waah...kabhi kabhi aap bhii beKhayaalii meN "heere motii" bol jaate haiN! :D
Kabhi aap bhi asiee ghalti karen. Hamesha Aeen Baeen Shaeen kertey rehtey hain ;)
Re: How to deal with my ex husband
teenoN dishaaoN meN teer to phaiNktaa to huN magar bad-baKhtii-e-qismat to dekhiye k koii suKhanpaare nahiiN phaNste! 
Re: How to deal with my ex husband
You've received excellent advice from so many.
Your EX, and he is your EX, has no business being in your house at all. It is your house, not his. Keep him out of it.
Remember why you divorced in the first place, and do not let kind, fuzzy or sympathetic feelings come in the way.
My cousin and his wife divorced in the UK, he was in the wrong on many things, and thought his flirting etc would make her "love' him again. From day one of the separation and divorce, there were boundaries, how they met, where they met, how he picked up the children etc. He was never. ever allowed into her 'home' again. And to my knowledge , my cousin ex wife has never set foot into her EX home either.
Re: How to deal with my ex husband
Did he love, gave time and had concerns about the children before your divorce as well ? Or is it just that he’s using children to be around you/at your place for ‘other’ intententions?
If you go islamically, it is not appropriate for any non mehram to be in your house when youre alone/with non-adolescent children regardless of what situation and circumstances you are in but thats a personal matter how much you want to take religious rulings into consideration.
@Iconoclast can you please explain about remarrying without halala ? Thats new for me 
Re: How to deal with my ex husband
[1](Talaaq: Divorce on the Scales of Islamic Shariah)
Talaaq: Divorce on the Scales of Islamic Shariah ↩︎
Re: How to deal with my ex husband
Why does he have to come to your house to see the kids? why dont the kids go to his house instead? And secondly you cannot remarry him if you have been divorced 3 times...from what I can tell you have been divorced once not 3 times....
Re: How to deal with my ex husband
I thought that after 1 divorce if u didn't revoke it, or reconcile then if three months have passed then the divorce is final. As in, it's as good as having said divorce three times and now u can't get back together. I didn't know that it was allowed to get back together after any period of time. And if uv actually gone through court and gotten a proper divorce then it's like 3 divorces, because u thought it through and went through all that trouble. Otherwise wouldn't u just say it once and then let it be (if u think there's any chance of getting back together). And it seems like OP was the one who wanted the divorce rather than the husband giving it on his own accord. Is that the case op? @HEERANJHA
Re: How to deal with my ex husband
^Speaking generally it depends on who you follow I think.. I was taught there must be 3 spaced apart and 1 can't count as a "full" divorce at all.. Obviously there are different rulings and opinions though..
The court divorce has no bearing in regards to an Islamic divorce, no matter how long or how much trouble it might have been.. It has no importance in religious terms..