Why would strong, modern, educated, liberal and opinionated girls care if a few guys like AK and afridi decide to go back home to marry? Is it because if all guys started to do that, then there wouldn't be anyone left to put up with such "high maintenance - poor returns" type women? :)
Geography has nothing to do with the women. You can find a submissive mindless girl (if that's your thing) in the US just as you can find a career oriented modern girl in Pakistan.
I think despite your thoughts, you are a true gentlemen in your real life. But your idea of a marriage is quiet utopic. The girl you are looking for does not exist in this world. The balance you desire is impossible to find.
Thanks Witch bhai, thats the first real compliment I've gotten here on GS. Bohat Nawazish. I know the type of girl I'm looking for is too good to be true, but we can always hope and pray can't we? I just pray that Allah grants me a life partner whom I can spend my life with in peace and happiness, Ameen.
btw, what was it about my posts that made you feel that I was a true gentlemen?
Geography has nothing to do with the women. You can find a submissive mindless girl (if that's your thing) in the US just as you can find a career oriented modern girl in Pakistan.
Trust stereotypes at your own peril.
Khan bhai, I've always found your posts to be well thought out and intruiging. I think there is an element of brilliance in them. Well done; I'm a fan.
well cause it’s not really true:)…i don’t know how to explain…but somehow i’m a bit too FOB in my mind for most western raised men:D…so i prefer a FOB Allah ka shukar hai i found the best:halo:
i’m a gori raised in west and i wanna be housewife:D…LOL
i think the thread has derived too much focused on slutty/not slutyy, while there is MUCH more in a person..
let me explain
i’ll try to tell why i tend to prefer the “back home” mentality of guys over the ABCDs
well i could say party, smoke, drink, strip club are familiar to some ABCDs…but I know there are religious ABCDs too so it would be unfair to them…
maybe language, obviously I’de like my kids to be native speakers of pashto, and it’s easier to find good pashto speaker raised in pak (ok afghanistan too…)than in US, EU..
also the family ties and this whole concept of extended family, someone who was brought up in this concept, and has allways lived in the promiscuity of family is more family oriented and tend to be less “individualistic” than people raised west especially america.
I tend to feel people from europe and even more from america, are far too conerned with materialistic comfort, just look at some threads here on gs and you’ll see almost only ABCDs or EBCDs men talking about big cars, latest playstations…
and finally i have noticed that west raised people tend to value work and wealth too much…and tend to look down upon family and label “lazyness” the time people take to enjoy family life and just look at passing time…
well i know it’s a different mentality, for western people what is "lazyness"for me is an “art of life”…i have traveled this world to some remote places, and indigenous people taught me that time ain’t money…time is LIFE
i don’t want to run fast towards death for a million dollar
i want to enjoy life with 1000$…
another point that strikes me :
when i was chatting with some paki friends in peshawar, we talked about france life expectancy: 85 years for women…and they went it’s TOOOOOOOO much!! and they thanked god to be born in pak where life end far earlier …
have a look at life 1 and you’ll see quite often threads opened by ABCDs over some hazards who can threaten their (long) life expectancy…
that’s another mentality divide…
it’s a life choice, but i’d rather enjoy 50years of life…than suffer 30 years and run for the 50 first years
hope you understand why for MY personal life choice i prefer FOB over ABCDs with all due respect to both people
We are not worried abt guys who wanna “go back home”, we just want them to stay “back home” and practice true traditions or whatever they are talking abt…lolz
For those guys whose mothers/fathers could not teach them Urdu because they were raised here in the West, I wonder who wud they blame that on … modern educated women or saadi sharif women from “back home”.
Well, in the end, I think most girls won't want to marry guys with such narrow-minded assumptions. But these assumptions spread, and they cause fear and uncertainty about girls brought up in the West. Especially when many of the girls brought up here still go through a more traditional rishta process, meeting guys only briefly and (for many) rarely alone, so they have little chance to show that they are anything more than the whores so many assume them to be.
I know a lot of Pakistani-American girls and guys. I don't know a single one who has slept around before marriage, though some ended up marrying someone they fell in love with on their own and dated for a bit. Others had arranged marriages. Some are working, others are not. Some work while their husbands look for jobs. Some husbands help out around the house and with the kids, others do not. Some work from home with the kids. Others wait until the kids have grown up and start going to school. Some stop working all together.
You have to realize that no couple is like another. You can not base your marriage on some ideal that exists within your head or the heads of your elders/friends/family, etc. To some degree, it develops as a compromise between you and your spouse, no matter where she is from and where you are from. The best advice I can give you in terms of finding a spouse is to look for someone you can see yourself making a life with, not someone who thinks exactly as you do, or will obey your will. Too many women sacrifice their own will for that of their husbands, parents, etc, and in the end many feel very bitter and alone. Don't let that happen. You need to work with your spouse, not against her.
I think it is unfair of you to try to import a wife for your own selfish purposes. My cousins in Pakistan were brought up very traditionally. They are very caring, obedient, and yet very intelligent and hard-working girls. But they will not be taken advantage of. Many are willing to marry husbands who live in the US for a reason -- because they think they will be more open-minded, that they will have more opportunities. And luckily, many guys do not make the same close-minded and disrespectul claims that many of you have above.
Anil, what everyone here is trying to make you understand, you may not get until you are already knee deep in the situation. Btw, i am not sure how long ago were you in Pak but when i was there last year after about 5-6 years, i was shocked at how the society had changed. Good luck to you :)
Larki-NY: I dont think i could have said it any better than you.
Thanks Ira! I guess basically we are all warning about hasty generalizations and taking women as objects that one can mold as per his desires. Human relations are not a set science and we all learn through our experiences. If we keep an open mind and keep our Islamic values in mind, inshaAllah, we'll make it through.
The majority of guys have gone back to Pakistan and have bought wives over... Most of my cousins/family friends, my own brothers included.
The girls in the UK would all prefer their husband to be from the UK, simply due to the fact that they believe it will be a little easier to connect with him.
Because of this, single women now outnumber the men, and it's harder for women to find a husband.
^ I'm beginning to worry about this here as well. Guys have many more options that they can make legitimate. It is easier, I think, in general, for guys raised in the West to marry girls raised in Pakistan, rather than the other way around. Many also find it legitimate to marry Christian and Jewish girls. And most guys don't become "disqualified" beyond the age of 30.
The majority of guys have gone back to Pakistan and have bought wives over... Most of my cousins/family friends, my own brothers included.
The girls in the UK would all prefer their husband to be from the UK, simply due to the fact that they believe it will be a little easier to connect with him.
Because of this, single women now outnumber the men, and it's harder for women to find a husband.
I count this as a blessing. Look for the silver lining luv, we get to be single for a lot longer, and personally, being single is not a negative thing.
Anil Khan, I haven't read all the responses; however, I did read your post. Good that you've decided to get married back home. Perhaps you should move back home, so that your daughters and sons could be raised up well and not corrupt like us girls living in the West.
If I have a daughter I'm moving to Saudi. Lol, joking.
I think how kids turn out depends on the parents. If the parents give attention and love to their children then I believe they will turn out to be good individuals with high moral values. InshAllah, I hope I can prove to be such a parent. Like I've said before, I would love to have a daughter (I think I've missed something by not having a sister) but it will be mine and my wifes duty to bring her up in the correct manner. I think there is a greater chance in Pakistan to find such girls compared to the west; here a lot of the kids have grown up in day cares and with nannies and haven't recieved that home grown love. This, ofcourse, is not always the fault of parents as they first have to cover the financial aspect of life.
I think how kids turn out depends on the parents. If the parents give attention and love to their children then I believe they will turn out to be good individuals with high moral values. InshAllah, I hope I can prove to be such a parent. Like I've said before, I would love to have a daughter (I think I've missed something by not having a sister) but it will be mine and my wifes duty to bring her up in the correct manner. I think there is a greater chance in Pakistan to find such girls compared to the west; here a lot of the kids have grown up in day cares and with nannies and haven't recieved that home grown love. This, ofcourse, is not always the fault of parents as they first have to cover the financial aspect of life.
Therefore, please move to Pakistan, get married, and do not return to a non-Muslim country with daughters. I'm sure you'll be able to raise them well back home than here, as girls back home are angels while the remainder of us are corrupt.
Allah ka shukar hai i found the best:halo: 
i’m a gori raised in west and i wanna be housewife:D…LOL
it’s TOOOOOOOO much!! and they thanked god to be born in pak where life end far earlier 
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