How do you gals feel about this?

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: How do you gals feel about this?

^ :clap:

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Re: How do you gals feel about this?

^ Solid response. Although I must say that I am not threatned by an educated girl. Infact, I would want an educated wife who can carry out an intelligent conversation. The issue here is not about education but of values and traditions. I feel there is a greater probability of finding an educated, well mannered, TRADITIONAL girl in Pakistan; this is not to say that such girls don't exist here in North America.

Also another problem is that of language. Unfortunately, my first language is English ( because I grew up in the west) and I would want my coming generation to be urdu speaking. I've noticed that most girls here speak english first and are quite weak in urdu (not to say that all are like that).

Ah, and the main thing. I'm a big believer of house wives. Girls here want to work after marriage. I feel that my wife should stay at home to look after the kids and do all the things that house wives do (eg. take care of the house, go shopping, talk on the phone etc etc). I know this will irk some of the ladies out there but thats the way I feel (Ofcourse, this is assuming I can earn enough to run the household Inshallah, Inshallah). I highly doubt a girl raised in west would wanna be a housewife.

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Re: How do you gals feel about this?

^ Actually you'd be surprised. Quite a few of the girls I know here have grown up and chosen o be housewives. But probably all of them would say that having the choice was important. As long as your expectations are clear in the beginning and you give your wife enough respect to let her choose, all is well, I think.

I myself love my job and value my education, but I also plan to stay home with my kids.

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Re: How do you gals feel about this?

Anil, you assume too many things, that's ur problem.

A woman who works after marriage/kids doesn't mean that she hates her kids or domestic life, nor is staying home the mark of a paindu, uneducated woman. I have cousins who were born and raised in the Bronx and Brooklyn who just had babies and work is the LAST thing on their minds, they don't want to go back (just yet). I personally dont want to work when my kids are too young and I hope I can afford that luxury.

Oh and having a choice is VERY importnat. Even if she agrees to be a housewife, she might want to work for a lil bit, to relieve boredom, to be more productive etc. If you force her to stay home, thats justmessed up.

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Re: How do you gals feel about this?

^ I never said they won't make good wives. I was speaking personally; I would want my wife to stay at home and not work, assuming InshAllah that I can make a good living.

I don't believe in forcing things on people. InshAllah whoever I marry will know that I don't like her working and as such will respect my wishes.

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Re: How do you gals feel about this?

dat one statement about men being scared of a woman whose not submissive is bull crap, im afraid of a woman who is 2 modern and westernized that they dont respect my parents, who may or may not have a VD, who have had sex before marriage (we r suppose to marry women who are pious arent we not?), who do things against the wold of Allah SWT, who’d rather speak english than urdu…dats just my preference, i dont think they r so demanding, or so old-fashioned. N Plz dont say that pakistani girls r more corrupt than girls in the west, it mite be true in sum cases, but overall its not. just because u think so, it doesnt make it true.:naraz: Pakistan Zindabad!

thats what you call love Sara ji, nobody is going to say o shes better than my kids, but sum do…trust me

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Re: How do you gals feel about this?

^ Seriously..Do you think it’s right that women bukbuk saying her daughter is a whore, when others are saying the exact same thing about HER daughter, just becoz her daughter happens to be going to school or working ?? And as for nobody’s gonna say shes better, have u ever seen aunties who tell their kids "falaan ka beta is sooo smart and good looking and does so much hosuework (latter applies to larkiyan only :clown:

ANd you’re alwyas criticizing me for generalizing men, but hey, you’re doing the xact same thing! You’re pretty much saying that grls here are more likely to disrespect parents, and have VD than grls in pak, wow !!

Plz dont say American paki grlz are more corrupt than grls in Pak, it might be true in your case (what youv’e seen n come across) but its not. Just becoz you think so doesnt make it true :naraz: :clown:

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Re: How do you gals feel about this?

i never said girls over here r, just its more likely they r, i said im afraid of the girls like so & so in U.S., you cant distinguish one from the other…so American Pakistani (not paki) grlz r more religious and innocent than girls brought up in Pakistan? u were obviously not brought up there, u mite be a good girl but that doesnt mean every “american” pakistani girl is 2. Understand Sara Ji?

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Re: How do you gals feel about this?

Afridi 786 sahib, you highlighted my quotes and then you went on to say Modern women don't respect parents, have sex before marriage, VD (wot the heck is that?) Don't speak Urdu? Oh you and AK, what world have u been living in? You are prejudging educated women, pre-judging without the right knowledge is called Prejudice! I did not preech any of wot you raised objections to (above).

Again my experience of US born/raised gals, married here have been following religion, respecting their inlaws and communicate with their children in Urdu and they tell others who try to talk to their children in English that we communicate in Urdu at home.

Why don't you simply acknowledge that you are threatened by educated modern women and you want some Allah mian ki gaye who can deliver babies for u, wash and cook and clean and doesn't question you ever. She should not be able to give any views on politics or economy or sports bcos she's just a woman and it's all your domain!

How many of Saas-bahoo conflict happen in PK? Cities, towns, Villages, are they all educated, modern women disrespecting their saas-susars? How much Urdu is spoken in Pk? That's called Gulabi Urdu, hardly 2 words of Urdu, then one word of English then 2 of Urdu and the pattern goes on! To me Educated means, educated in every sense, social and religious. A religious person would not like to do anything against Allah (SWT)'s commands and words.

Pls. have some intelligent comments or otherwise don't carry on for the sake of useless arguments! Hope you find wot you want, pls. stop character assisination of educated women!

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Re: How do you gals feel about this?

I grew up in the States but I actually was quite naive in my thinking about certain things. I actually thought in a very traditional way compared to most of my cousins who grew up in the old country. I’m quite strict about not talking english at home and following desi culture.

I hate stereotypes and generalizations about anything especially this one where desi guys assume that i’m a certain way just because I grew in the west. I’m sure most of them aren’t so innocent and a few of them have gone to strip clubs, had certain services given to them there and slept with white girls. :mad: But then these same guys go back to Pak or India and marry the most innocent village girls.

What double standards!

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Re: How do you gals feel about this?

^Larki-NY^, i just said i dont want a girl like dat, i didnt say all girls r like dat, but its hard to tell them apart. yes I want a woman who can deliver babies, dats what we get married for, why does Allah SWT tell us to marry woman who are pious and who can give birth?, i never said they have to be obedient and submissive, check my posts, alrite, not every guy is like that. basically dont want to marry an ABCD. I'd like an educated woman too, not some paindu.
And dont insult peoples' intelligences just because their opinion differs from yours or is that a stupid comment to make?
^inpak^
I've never gone to a strip club, slept with any white girls or any girl, I dont smoke, I've never done drugs, try to be a good muslim. And yeah guys who do this kinda of stuff and marry innocent girls is definately wrong, but these things happen, cant blame the entire male population for it.

How would you justify FATE if,
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Re: How do you gals feel about this?

Larki-NY,

I thought what you said was great and quite true! :)

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Re: How do you gals feel about this?

What in the world are you talking about Afridi786, who are you talking to?:confused:

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Re: How do you gals feel about this?

sorry, inpak Baji, i edited it.. ; )

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Re: How do you gals feel about this?

Anil: There is too much wishing in your thoughts. I hope your marriage turns out as you expect it to be. But personally, I think you should not get married. And it is not because you would not keep your wife happy, but because marriage cannot keep you happy. But all the best.

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Re: How do you gals feel about this?

I speak from my own experiences and the girls I've seen and been around; most want to WORK and I'm the traditional type. Thus, it makes sense for me (and probably for Afridi bhai) to go back home where there is a greater chance for us to find girls who want to be housewives. Now, wanting to be a housewife isn't enough; she must have a good turbiat too, respects elders and oh yea pretty too :). Khair, I just feel that those who want to go back to Pakistan to marry should not be demonized by the girls here. They (the girls) also have every right to seek any type of guy they want.

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Re: How do you gals feel about this?

Please elaborate; I didn't quite understand.

Fear
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Re: How do you gals feel about this?

^ They only get mad and "demonize" you coz you do the exact same to those girls :)

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Re: How do you gals feel about this?

people who think like that..mostly end up with one like that too....so uncle try to change your thinking n fault assumptions about people....it's true that people in west are more educated and modernized but modernization doesn't mean wearing mini skirts....partying all night n not being "clean"...its a state of mind....girls can wear shalwar kamez n still be mordern n open minded...but from your post it seems girls are either modern (sluts) or paindu (shareef)...theres a lot more to a person than that no? :)

Celebrity pics
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Re: How do you gals feel about this?

PaRi Si, I think I'm in love with you! :) lol