I wonder what would be the parents' reaction if their daughter-in-law too starts kissing and hugging their son in front of them?
take off the "SAAS-BAHOO" ainak (glasses) and look at this. Kissing and hugging parents is totally different than kissing and hugging wife. Factor of intimacy jumps in wife's case and things can go out of control.
I find it strange that you (girls) find it perfectly normal to kiss each other (friends hugging and kissing on cheek) when you (again not you but girls) meet but its hard for you to swallow when parents hugs and kiss their son.
take off the "SAAS-BAHOO" ainak (glasses) and look at this. Kissing and hugging parents is totally different than kissing and hugging wife. Factor of intimacy jumps in wife's case and things can go out of control.
I find it strange that you (girls) find it perfectly normal to kiss each other (friends hugging and kissing on cheek) when you (again not you but girls) meet but its hard for you to swallow when parents hugs and kiss their son.
hugs and kisses are important for under 7's....parents who don't stop babying their kids after that are OTT.
take off the "SAAS-BAHOO" ainak (glasses) and look at this. Kissing and hugging parents is totally different than kissing and hugging wife. Factor of intimacy jumps in wife's case and things can go out of control.
I find it strange that you (girls) find it perfectly normal to kiss each other (friends hugging and kissing on cheek) when you (again not you but girls) meet but its hard for you to swallow when parents hugs and kiss their son.
Like that..:thumbs up:
I don't see any need for such a hullabaloo about parents treating their adult offsprings as kids; no matter how much the wife adores her husband, it cannot exceed the divine affection of the parents. They were the ones to bring the wife's source of respect, love and status- i.e the husband into existence who will continue to be the oldies' joy till their last moment. Now how they express it or why they do it isn't all that worrisome..Be glad that your hubby is still privileged to enjoy all that attention, recognition and you being his wife automatically become his parents' star as well!
Like someone mentioned before, if they pour all their lovey-doveyness on him alone and ignore you completely then you need to talk about it or feel aghast at all..
hugs and kisses are important for under 7's....parents who don't stop babying their kids after that are OTT.
alright. next time you meet your mom or sister, make sure you don't hug them.
People have different ways to show their affection/love. Some are more vocal, some are more physical and some just stay quiet but that does not mean they don't love. It totally depends on the family practice and has nothing to do with "babying".
For example, I have many friends who call their mom/dad "tum". like "mom tum kia ker rahee ho" (and have one who even call them "tu"). When I ask them, they just say they find it more "warming" and "bonding" just like friends, they just be it. That does not mean they don't respect their parents. Same is the case here.
But your wife can kiss you? Not your mother who had you in her womb and gave life to you, raised you up and was there when you needed her most? And the father who secured your life by giving you a roof over your head and a good education so you one day become a succesful man.
^ maybe thats their way of showing affection, why must it make the girl insecure? you want a man, get that in your bed and elsewhere...let him be a kid with his parents cuz thats what he always wl be..their kid. Whether you like it or not! its better somethings be accepted as they are otherwise they wl only cause your relationship the trouble you would nt want.
OK, listen up here. I have nicknames for my little boys - names like dookie and binky. I have baby songs that I made for each of them. They are little boys.
Now IMAGINE...if you are married to a man and your MIL comes over and starts singing a baby song to her "binky". And feeding him, combing his hair.
Appropriate to do when they're little ones. NOT appropriate when they're adults. Even now, I'm cutting back on these babyish things and we're at the point that they still enjoy when I sing them their little songs but would be absolutely mortified if any of their classmates got wind of them. They are growing up.
Appropriate affection, even if its alot of affection is ok if its age-appropriate. But once again, treating an adult like an infant is a huge turnoff.
You are taking it to another level. We are just talking about kiss and hugs and not spoon feeding and combing hair. No need to blow it our of proportion to convy the view point :)
OK, listen up here. I have nicknames for my little boys - names like dookie and binky. I have baby songs that I made for each of them. They are little boys.
Now IMAGINE...if you are married to a man and your MIL comes over and starts singing a baby song to her "binky". And feeding him, combing his hair.
Appropriate to do when they're little ones. NOT appropriate when they're adults. Even now, I'm cutting back on these babyish things and we're at the point that they still enjoy when I sing them their little songs but would be absolutely mortified if any of their classmates got wind of them. They are growing up.
Appropriate affection, even if its alot of affection is ok if its age-appropriate. But once again, treating an adult like an infant is a huge turnoff.
OK, listen up here. I have nicknames for my little boys - names like dookie and binky. I have baby songs that I made for each of them. They are little boys.
Now IMAGINE...if you are married to a man and your MIL comes over and starts singing a baby song to her "binky". And feeding him, combing his hair.
Appropriate to do when they're little ones. NOT appropriate when they're adults. Even now, I'm cutting back on these babyish things and we're at the point that they still enjoy when I sing them their little songs but would be absolutely mortified if any of their classmates got wind of them. They are growing up.
Appropriate affection, even if its alot of affection is ok if its age-appropriate. But once again, treating an adult like an infant is a huge turnoff.
Oh C'mon Mamaof3,
I don't think her in-laws call their son pinky, twinky or lala or sing the Teletubbies Song when they see their son. I see a little bit over-exaggeration coming from the OP.
I mean where is the Problem if I go for advise to my parents. They have experience and if - like OP says - he is a succesful man, then this guy owes alot to his parents. A debt he can only pay back by serving his parents to the fullest.
If I had such parents who had made a diamond of me, what would you know in what esteem I'd put them. This why do they hug him and kiss him is chit-chat. With all respect, maybe bored of her own life or never got the attention her Husband receives?
You are taking it to another level. We are just talking about kiss and hugs and not spoon feeding and combing hair. No need to blow it our of proportion to convy the view point :)
Hugging and kissing on forehead is fine if you see your son after a month or so.....
In what a world we have come today? Today it's not even allowed to show love to your Son by kissing him every day on the forehead?
Assal meyn, Orat ki zaat jo hai na, wohi Problem karthi hai and puts it in the shoes of men. What is your Problem with that? Your standard doesn't allow it? What kind of standard do you follow?
You like the sentence or not and it may sound harsh, but that's what the reality is!
Hugging and kissing on forehead is fine if you see your son after a month or so.....
so now wife will decide the "time limit" for kissing on forehead by moms/dads ...... aaah ridiculous... just think you are meeting mom after 47 hours and as soon as she is about to kiss and hug you wife goes "no no ammi ..abhee 47 hours howey hain, you can kiss him only after 48 hours.,,,while i can kiss him right left and center"
...and then they (girls) say they have tonz of complains with in laws. Off course if you beheave like this you are gonna have complains. Make your life easy girls. Let mom show her love to son ... she will not take him away from you.
Each family is different. My family is very affectionate, and no, that doesn't mean we really are not close to each other. We hug, give puppies, etc. Maybe it's different for girls? My dad gave me a puppi every single day and I would give puppis to both my parents and tell them I love them before going to sleep. I'm 30 and I still do this every time I talk on the phone with them, I say "I love you" before hanging up. I see nothing wrong with it. Just cause you grow up in an affectionate environment doesn't mean you go out and start being affectionate with everybody else.
If you issues with your spouse due to how affectionate they are with their parents ... well I don't know what to say to that. Perhaps you should look at the relationship between the parents to determine what kind of environment they were raised in and what their expectations will be post-marriage. My parents always held hands when they would go out. So I grew up seeing this and I don't see anything wrong with it. Because that affection was extended to us kids and we grew up in a really loving environment and are each others closest friends as well as family.
Each family is different. My family is very affectionate, and no, that doesn't mean we really are not close to each other. We hug, give puppies, etc. Maybe it's different for girls? My dad gave me a puppi every single day and I would give puppis to both my parents and tell them I love them before going to sleep. I'm 30 and I still do this every time I talk on the phone with them, I say "I love you" before hanging up. I see nothing wrong with it. Just cause you grow up in an affectionate environment doesn't mean you go out and start being affectionate with everybody else.
If you issues with your spouse due to how affectionate they are with their parents ... well I don't know what to say to that. Perhaps you should look at the relationship between the parents to determine what kind of environment they were raised in and what their expectations will be post-marriage. My parents always held hands when they would go out. So I grew up seeing this and I don't see anything wrong with it. Because that affection was extended to us kids and we grew up in a really loving environment and are each others closest friends as well as family.
That's true...it all comes down to different methods of dealing with each other in different families.....
But what might cause a problem is when a husband has totally different upbringing than his wife's.
jeez some of u posters are blowing this totally out of the water. what is wrong with parents showing affection to their children? just because its not normal for u it doesn't mean that its weird or wrong... im 22 yrs old and everyday when my dad comes home from work he kisses me on the forehead. he hugs me and asks how my day was... i don't see anything wrong with that at all, my mum does the same too.
OP i think u should just drop the issue n dont think about it because thats the way his family is. just because urs is rough and tough it doesn't mean his mum should change the way she behaves towards her son just to suit u. sorry if i sound harsh but i dont see what the big deal is.
This thread is about how some MILS treat their grown sons like babies....as she said ..."His parents are always hugging and kissing him and babying him. I don't get it. He is 30 yrs old and his mother feeding him. "
I dont think this thread would have even been started if the in-laws were just showing lots of affection, its more that they treat their grown son like he's still a baby and that is very de-masculating and its upsetting for a wife to see her "man" of a husband being treated like an infant and enjoying it.
Again, expressions of love and affection from parents are one thing. Treating an adult like an infant is quite another.
i think the OP should come back and clarify what she means by feeding him. is she talking about the mother literally feeding her son the whole meal or just feeding him one bite in a jokey way?
if its feeding him the whole meal then yeah i have to agree its kinda odd... i still see nothing wrong with hugging or kissing
Okay I got it. It's not about hugging and kissing, it's about the girl receiving no attention from her inlaws. Her inlaws don't make her feel important and special rather they just focus all the attention on their son which is wrong on their part.
My inlaws show a lot of concern and care for their son but at the same time they give me more importance so I stay fine with them.