And what should one do to make them non-addict?
whatever there actions, our religion still commands us to respect them and give them their due rights.
I believe in treating elders with respect, and always greet them first, sit and talk with them, see if they need anything, etc.
I don't like how this thread is being used as a way to attack DILs for legitimate complaints and concerns.
Agree!!
I was going to open a thread on this topic too 
Unfortunately this is how lots of kids treat their parents. If the father’s strict this is a blessing. If he’s not then chances are that his kids, sons in particular are likely to treat them like crap. I have seen people who are nice to their parents (only temporarily) when they want something. Once they get it they go back to being their usual self.
What if your elders are addict to tv and indian dramas and movies and all the naach gaana?
So what? Almost all Pakistani women, elderly or otherwise, are addicted to Star plus dramas which offer nothing but vulgarity and 3rd rate entertainment.
whatever there actions, our religion still commands us to respect them and give them their due rights.
And do you think that includes living with them? (As I see in your posts you stress on living with parents).
Also, shouldn't we be informing our parents (by not sounding rude) about Islam and telling them that it's not nice for muslims to watch pooja paat?
So what? Almost all Pakistani women, elderly or otherwise, are addicted to Star plus dramas which offer nothing but vulgarity and 3rd rate entertainment.
Those who aren't fond of Star Plus etc can't stay with their addictive family members nor they can leave their kids in their house for more than few hours. It's difficult.
whatever there actions, our religion still commands us to respect them and give them their due rights.
yet you think it is ok to ignore your wife's rights? arent we being selective??
"whatever their actions" --not true...
when God will ask you why you did something wrong...
and your answer will be "because my elders did it.."
proves that if your elders are wrong,you must stop them,without disrespecting them.
in NO circumstance it is acceptable to look the other way when your spouse is being mistreated by your own family...shouldnt it tell you something...App bhi gunah mein shareek hon ge!!!
Where Allah commands you to respect. He also tells you to stop mistreatment whereever you see it. Zulm karne wala..aur sehne wala barabar hai!
Haquq-ul-ibad!! should not be ignored..especially when it comes to your own family.
And what should one do to make them non-addict?
Same thing that you are going to make yourself non-addict of gupshup :)
We have to understand that our Parents have lived a busy life and now in this age they want to keep them self busy too be it grand children, tv, sports anything and we should encourage this too.
We are so busy that we don't give much time to them and its very hard to accept any argument for it. If we have time to eat and time to watch TV, we should spare some time to spend with them too. What I fail to understand is that people have time to watch ball-game or NBA finals for 5 days but they don't have time to spend 10 min with parents and this is where things get bad. I have even seen desis who feel "insulted" if someone finds them walking in the mall with father wearing "sandles" and "shilwar qameez".
I am not saying that we should not try to correct them if they are on the wrong side in any situation but we have to be polite and not rude
And do you think that includes living with them? (As I see in your posts you stress on living with parents).
Also, shouldn't we be informing our parents (by not sounding rude) about Islam and telling them that it's not nice for muslims to watch pooja paat?
I doubt that i have stressed that people shud live with their parents. But if the parents need help then definitely yes, they shud.
I agree that one shud try to guide them to Islam. My point was that in case they do not follow Islam as they shud, even then they shud be respected and their rights as given by Islam do not become void.
yet you think it is ok to ignore your wife's rights? arent we being selective??
"whatever their actions" --not true...
when God will ask you why you did something wrong... and your answer will be "because my elders did it.."
proves that if your elders are wrong,you must stop them,without disrespecting them. in NO circumstance it is acceptable to look the other way when your spouse is being mistreated by your own family...shouldnt it tell you something...App bhi gunah mein shareek hon ge!!!
Where Allah commands you to respect. He also tells you to stop mistreatment whereever you see it. Zulm karne wala..aur sehne wala barabar hai!
Haquq-ul-ibad!! should not be ignored..especially when it comes to your own family.
No its no okay to ignore wife's right and its not okay that she be disrespected or humiliated.
At the same time, the wife should be respectful towards in laws. Many women want to treat their MIL/DIL like the next door neighbour, if in laws did something wrong, she reciprocate. Thats not right.
Haven't you seen the sickening comments on this forum, like burn the MIL coz she doesn't allow you to sit in front seat! For God's sake, if my mother will be happy sitting at front seat, i'll let her sit all her life. Afterall i spend most of my time with my wife and kids.
Re: How do we treat our elderly
no doubt...a wife has to build her respect by respecting the family....
and such statements about 'burning' so and so...are not representation of good behavior on anyone's part....it reflects badly on the person.
but I dont agree with tolerating abuse...whether its inflicted by the MIL or the DIL...
by defending the rights of the girl, i by no mean suggest disrespecting the parents...i dont know why it would be even assumed!!
Same thing that you are going to make yourself non-addict of gupshup :)
We have to understand that our Parents have lived a busy life and now in this age they want to keep them self busy too be it grand children, tv, sports anything and we should encourage this too.
We are so busy that we don't give much time to them and its very hard to accept any argument for it. If we have time to eat and time to watch TV, we should spare some time to spend with them too. What I fail to understand is that people have time to watch ball-game or NBA finals for 5 days but they don't have time to spend 10 min with parents and this is where things get bad. I have even seen desis who feel "insulted" if someone finds them walking in the mall with father wearing "sandles" and "shilwar qameez".
I am not saying that we should not try to correct them if they are on the wrong side in any situation but we have to be polite and not rude
okay...you're talking about a different issue. By the way I'm not addict to GS or BS.
Re: How do we treat our elderly
Some of the people in this thread make it seem like either you accept abuse or you're being disrespectful. If that is the case in your lives, then that is unfortunate indeed. Maybe you need to grow up and realize that relationships are more complex than that.
Buzurg or elderly in Pakistani society are the most spoiled. They think they can do whatever Jaiz Najaiz thing coz they are elderly,they boss around dont give a crap about other people's emotion or situation and then expect that every one give them atmost respect..and generally every one does.
I also don't think that the elderly want to be treated as coddled children or as burdens. If you have a concern, you should be able to talk to them about it. In most cases, they want a positive relationship with their younger family members. On the other hand, when they themselves are being abusive and disrespectful, it needs to be addressed.
Every human being is entitled to be treated with dignity by others, regardless of age.
YES!
Some of the people in this thread make it seem like either you accept abuse or you're being disrespectful. If that is the case in your lives, then that is unfortunate indeed. Maybe you need to grow up and realize that relationships are more complex than that.
And who suggested that and how.
Re: How do we treat our elderly
it’s a shame that people dont value their elders the way they used to. Here in the west people send their parents off to nursing homes. 
Be it your own parents, your in-laws, or any elderly person…treat them with respect, take care of them, talk to them, put your feelings aside and consider their feelings first.
Re: How do we treat our elderly
well......lesson learned....save up and buy yourself a retirement home...so you wont be dependent on your children....when old age comes..I would want to have my OWN life..as opposed to spend my old age making someone else's life miserable....not a good way to be remembered when you are gone!!
I believe in treating elders with respect, and always greet them first, sit and talk with them, see if they need anything, etc.
** I don't like how this thread is being used as a way to attack DILs for legitimate complaints and concerns**.
thats exactly why this thread was opened..it looks very much like this to me..how pathetic..