How do we treat our elderly

Lifestyle Relationships
1

How do Pakistanis treat their elderly.

These are the people who have raised us, given us love, cried when we cried, laughed when we did, they cleaned us when we could not, tey fed us when were week, they worked long hours so that they could provide for us.

Its a shame that the most commonly the elderly people are abused by their own sons, daughters, dils or sils.

Following are ALSO forms of abuse of elderly

  • Denying them visit or time with their grandkids.

*Shouting at them or threatening them.

*Leaving them alone when they need care.

And remember, your parents also need some of your time, its importantfor them that you sit with them for a while and talk to them.

2

i treat them with respect thats wat my folks taught me ive seen them behaving in this manner,n not just family anyone who is old deserve respect n humility

3

Re: How do we treat our elderly

Agreed elderly should be treated with respect, esp our parents who raised us. A lot of dilemma starts when men try to pass the "caretaking" duty of their parents to their wives. It is the son's responsibility to take care of his parents, as its the girl's duty to take care of her's as she can. Strife happens when the guy/MIL feels its the girl's duty to take care of them. Khair, we should try our best to respect our elders as best as we can, especially as with old age some tend to get cranky.

4

Re: How do we treat our elderly

With Extreme Respect.
The question is if some elderly do not behave properly according to their age and situation and are arrogant and are not willing to listen to your genuine concerns and do not change their behavior, then what do you do ?
Look at all the threads where lots of daughters in law have very genuine concerns about their in laws and are trapped in the situation because their husbands would not do anything to remedy the situation out of the respect for their parents or out of their own greed for their share in the inheritance or business of their parents.
If a young Police officer catches a criminal using force can we blame that police officer for not respecting elderly , No, right ?

5

well if my mother gets unreasonable i still putt up with her y cant i do the same with my mother inlaw,with mils its showing you my territory if u step back n give them respect they will love you they are also human u see.

6

Re: How do we treat our elderly

elderly abuse is totally inhuman,thus avoided ............. elders should be treated with kindness n respect and offered all sort of support if they're willing to take it, but there r those who r just too arrogant by nature and were like that all their life , so it's hard to get close to -or- interact with them or offer any help .

7

**One place the Holy Quran gives guidance regarding comparison between your children and your parents..........THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE, so you need to take care of the Parents just like you take care of your children.....

"4:11 As for **Your Parents and Your children - you know not which of them is more deserving of benefit from you: [therefore this] ordinance from God. Verily, God is all-knowing, wise. "

Sing a Song according 2 Ur Mood !!!!!
Sing a Song according 2 Ur Mood !!!!!
8

Re: How do we treat our elderly

^^so true. I think of all the patience that was required by our parents during the time when we as kids were helpless.They gave us the BEST years of their lives.
As I hav grown older I understand their point of view a lot more really being empathatic o how it was being in their shows. May Allah Talleh give me enough strength to keep them happy and content, and give them a healthy long lfe

9

In the end its us the young that have the power and energy. Its our job to be patient. Even if you do not agree with what they say, one shud stil be respectful but keep maintaining there position on the issue.

10

Re: How do we treat our elderly

I think a daughter treating her OWN mother is a different scenario...from a daughter in law being expected to treat a her mother in law in a certain way..not sure if it makes sense....lets put it this way.
An elderly woman...loves her son..in VERRRY different way than she loves his wife..agreed??
so when a guy's wife is being badly treated by the same loving mother, how is one supposed to deal with that?? can you force someone to respect them..even though that person is disrespecting your spouse in front of your own eyes.

Elderly play games too, just like a kid does...I have seen kids act a certain way with the father...and a complete personality turnaround with the mother.....

We think twice before doing something that would hurt our parents....I dont think saying that parents took care of us when we were children..now we have to be patient with their absurd behavior..at the risk of destroying a relationship...is a fair thing to do....
if this is the case...to phir kisi aurat ko apney ghar la kar uski zindagi mat kharab karo..

Respecting your parents is another thing..accepting abuse done by them to your spouse does not qualify as respect.

11

Re: How do we treat our elderly

Sadly in most cases its the elderly that are abused, coz they are weak and can't fight back and lack the emotional and physical energy to fight back.

Many nahinjar sons, forget what their parents did for them and just want to keep their wives happy coz they need them. Sad and shameful.

12

Re: How do we treat our elderly

"Sadly in most cases its the elderly that are abused, coz they are weak and can't fight back and lack the emotional and physical energy to fight back."

fight back??
^ dude..the evidence points otherwise...
why are you so ashamed of keeping your wife happy??

13

Re: How do we treat our elderly

Nope, the evidence points that its mostly elderly who are neglected.

Yeah, keep ur wife happy but not at expense of neglect or abuse of parents.

14

Re: How do we treat our elderly

What if your elders are addict to tv and indian dramas and movies and all the naach gaana?

15

Re: How do we treat our elderly

^

then they are addict..

Mehran gate scandal
16

Re: How do we treat our elderly

Desis generally treat elderly with utmost repect and give them authority.

This is one of the few handful of the aspects that dont need any reforms in our culture :k:

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Re: How do we treat our elderly

I believe in treating elders with respect, and always greet them first, sit and talk with them, see if they need anything, etc.

I don't like how this thread is being used as a way to attack DILs for legitimate complaints and concerns.

18

SO TRUE!!! i mean i do the same... respect, talk but there has to be a limit. i have failed to understand why, why ... why the guys are so protective abt their mothers. i mean even if she is wrong, stay quiet.. blah blah. why cant they discuss these prbs in the most respectful way possible? I am all for the respect n love they have for mommy dear but how about talkin to them if they are wrong and your wife is right?? all the men in this forum rush to say DIL ki respect karo, ignore small things... but they never understand sometimes MIL create these prbs and intentionally hurt the DIL.. when they start then DIL wants to hurt them too.. it is a cycle... but i have also seen many cases where despite the ill treatment the DIL has to endure, she keeps quiet and everything... still the MIL doesnt stop. so in that case its not necessarily both ways but one way only... it just never ends

19

Re: How do we treat our elderly

I also don't think that the elderly want to be treated as coddled children or as burdens. If you have a concern, you should be able to talk to them about it. In most cases, they want a positive relationship with their younger family members. On the other hand, when they themselves are being abusive and disrespectful, it needs to be addressed.

Every human being is entitled to be treated with dignity by others, regardless of age.

20

And what should one do to make them non-addict?