How do "married off" daughters take care of their parents

[cherryontop]

Re: How do “married off” daughters take care of their parents

@arshad5

So now you are saying that there is not much difference between “dogmatic hindu customs” and Islam? The only difference is that the girl has to give up her parents in “dogmatic hindu customs” but in Islam she can keep on looking after them, after marriage? Now tell me how you define looking after? Does that mean that your parents move in with you after your marriage and replace your in-laws? or does it mean that you visit them regularly and maybe cook them a meal, or take them to the doctors?

Again define for me what you mean by looking after your parents under “your” Islam after marriage and how that is different from my “dogmatic hindu customs”.? Quoting something directly from the Quran would help my understanding here.

OMG, are you having trouble with reading comprehension!?! Where did I say there is not much difference between dogmatic hindu customs and Islam. I said Islam emphasizes taking care of your parents while these customs are busy harping on only taking care of the guy’s parents and bidding adios to your own parents! Looking after can mean a plethora of things! If your parents are independent and don’t need to be driven everywhere, looking after could simply mean being there for them whenever they need you, visiting them regularly, making sure their health is fine and they are comfortable! It depends on your individual situation! And just BECAUSE you are a dutiful daughter who looks after her parents does NOT mean you are an evil DIL who neglects her in-laws and treats them like crap!! They can both go hand in hand. Just like you don’t need to LIVE with in-laws to take care of them, you don’t need to LIVE with your parents to take care of them. However, if either the in-laws or the parents are all alone with no other children living with them or need constant care, then it’s best for them to move in with you. And if the guy’s parents can live with a couple, why does it shock your conscience if a girl’s parents live with a couple!?!

Also, the message in Quran is clear…time and again we have been told to take care of our parents. The Quran has not stated any difference between sons and daughters when it comes to being there for your parents in old age. That responsibility applies equally to both men and women and for you guys to harp on pathetic cultural customs and not give your wife an opportunity to serve her own parents is just sad.

@NomiCA

So how would u go about doing it??

You take your parents to live in your and your husband’s house?? where you can actually properly take care of them and serve them…???

You still didn’t answer what my original question was…saying only “just like a son does” is a little too vague…thats why i opened this thread to ask how would u go about taking care of your parents ‘just like sons’ do…

So what’s wrong if my parents live with me? Is that not allowed? Would I be committing a sin? Just because a girl’s parents live with her doesn’t mean she is some evil person who has venom pouring out for her in-laws. Maybe the in-laws live somewhere else or with another child or with their own daughter. Or maybe the in-laws do live with you but that should not stop you from being there for your own parents as well. Also, taking care doesn’t automatically mean living together! Why do you guys have this assumption? As I have mentioned above, taking care could mean many different things such as visiting them regularly, running their errands, taking them to places, helping them financially and having them stay with you.

Most parents these days are very independent and really don’t need to be hand held but in old age they will need companionship and care and it’s best that the parents live with the kids. This could mean the guy’s parents or the girl’s parents! Every family has a unique situation. Sometimes sons move away for work and daughters stay in the home state. If parents don’t want to move to another state just so that they can live with the son, they can stay with the daughter or close to her. It’s not always that the daughter moves far far away and writes sad letters to her parents longing for them…I mean there is no hard and fast rule and you do what works best for you! But no one has a right to make an assumption that a girl can’t take care of her parents just because she is now married.