How did your rishta come about?

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: How did your rishta come about?

^ u know i never understood that...why the parents,especially the MOM, makes such ab ig fuss about how the girl looks...even if the guy may be attracted to a specific girl...

my husband explained to me that the saas is the one who will have to hear it from her family and in laws and the neighbors and aunties that the bahu is ugly or dark or whatever. I still don't thinkits right but its the only answer someone has ever given to that Q. its still a stupidass thing.

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I love dads. My mom told me STRAIGHT UP that i can find someone on my own. Save them the work. :D

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Re: How did your rishta come about?

^ lol. I like the capitalization there. :halo:

You got lucky man. Sometimes my mom says that to us in frustration - but I never know if she’s really serious or not. :frowning:

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Re: How did your rishta come about?

no trolley thing and picture circulation in my family as well.. my hubby saw me at my office. we had met twice or thrice for official purpose.he got my cell nmbr from smwhere, sent me a text msg that u r engaged or not? if not then give me ur home tel nmbr, my mom wants to talk to ur mom..i replied no i m not and this is my home nmbr.

his mum called my mum the same day, came to our home the same evening and asked for my hand from my dad right away.. i neither served them tea nor went in the formal living room to meet anyone.. my MIL came in my bedroomn to meet me..

we were husband and wife after two weeks :)

my MIL has three DILs. and u know what for her sons' rishtas she has visited only three families. she has no daughter but hates the idea of looking for girls the traditional way.. she thinks the trolley and viewing parade is an insult to the girl..

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awww such a sweet story!! esp the bit about him likin you and sendin sms rite away. he mst b really smitten by u, big time! :wink:

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:blush: well he never confessed any thing like that but as smbdy said “actions speak louder than words”

u see his directly asking for my hand shows strength of his character and that he is sincere with me..

i m lucky to have him and yes his family too.. MashaAllah:)

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Re: How did your rishta come about?

^ Meher, while reading about your rishta, I was thinking WOW - this guy is soo :wub:and then I remembered you were saying he’s not romantic!

If this isn’t romantic, I don’t know what is!

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this is the only romance i have experienced in my 2 years married life:hinna:
all i can say is he is like this. shy in expressing feelings in words. but i love him, really:wub: because i know i m the only girl ever in his life and u know this is a great feeling

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Re: How did your rishta come about?

^ Indeed, that’s a beautiful feeling. :slight_smile:

Why do us women love verbal romance??? :smack:

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Re: How did your rishta come about?

Khawateen you raised some good points, but certainly for my family they talk to the guy's family first on the phone, and only then allow them into our home. once they're satisfied However it still doesn't work out. Besides which as my mum's disabled I always play hostess when we have guests of any kind, so I wouldn't be able to get around that.

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Re: How did your rishta come about?

It's great to know that some parents don't approve of 'showing' the girl to anyone and everyone. My parents have also been very supportive that way, alhamdulillah, and I'll be honest it's such a relief. In fact sometimes my cousins/aunts tell me of rishtas that my parents have declined and I have no prior knowledge of it. My thing is...if they don't approve of it...I don't need to know if it even happened or not.
And I know that it gets a little tough for parents when most of your friends and cousins are hitched but you know what, history shows that it's worth waiting for the 'one' rather than experimenting and later regretting that you ever though about it. The best you can do is pray for your 'kismat' and leave the rest in Allah's hands.

My poem
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i hope i am not taken as being insensitive but why is everyone thinkignof it this way. as the girl is showpiece out for exhibition.

think of it this way. when girls go out in public epseically like soemwhere to a function jahanpr tharyaar shyaar hoke jaati hein so then is everyone not checking them out then. are they not a showpiece then. isn't she doign her namaish then.

so why is everyone offended when it is for ristha.

ND THE GUY HAS TO GO THROUGH A TERRIFYIG ORDEAL ALSO. GIRLS JUST HAVE TO LOOK PRETTY but guys have to go through whole interrogation process. they get dodged with bullet-like questions one oafter the other. and they are also checked. the girl hardly has to say anything. it is actually preferred that shse stays a little chup.

i remember when one ofamily came to see my brother they brought there whole tabaar and the older sister was interrogating him like a police sayhing stuff like oh come on i know you probably do this go here do that. and when he would answer she would fruther embarass by gogin t what do you mean this that.

if girls have to go through stuff then so do guys in this rista process. all girls have to do is look pretty. but this in no way implies this process is easy for finding the right guy becasue of course you donnot just say yes if they like the way the larki looks. anywayzz i hope you all get my point.

(sorry in middel i accidentally hit the caps button):)

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They want to show off!! And usually as women are bigger show offs than men they go all out!! Its also a power thing. Even today at a party,someone was telling me that her elder brother had a love marraige so her mom decided to get really picky for the second son and looked for rishtas for an entire year to find a really beautiful girl!!

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Sorry MODs if I am going wayy off-topic.

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Re: How did your rishta come about?

I've had quite a few rishta's albeit I've been unhappy with most

Most got rejected without my knowledge and truly grateful to parents that they worked it so that it was when I wasn't around..

Where the rishta's were ones my parents were keen on the boy/family would just come over and parents wouldn't say anything about it being a rishta so no trolly dolly situations thank the lord.. just treated them like guests..

The one situation where I did have to go meet the guy out in the verandah (in Pakistan)

There were a number of proposals coming in at the same time.. I'd love to say it was my looks or my becoming nature but I think it was the burgundy book of pretty pages that did it...

The rishta family realised that my uncle was asking for my hand for his sons and ofcourse everyone turned up the day that these guys were to come including my cousins and family friends.

The rishta guy and his dad new that of the big group that one of them was my uncles sons and ofcourse were crapping themselves as soon as theq walked into a house with MASHALLAH good looking guys (My cousins) wherever they turned

I got my sis in law to make the tea & take it in and stayed in the kitchen with all my cousins..

Mum told me to go out and say salam to the uncle and I was so nervous and my younger cousin goes to me baji.. meray peeche peecha aaana... koi darnay ki baat nahin.. mein houn na.. with a cheeky smile

Walked out and I was nervous wreck but didn't show it and eyes were like glazed, just couldn't seem to see, only blurry image sof people sat together ..

I was so nervous to look at him I started at point on the floorin the middle of the circle of people and from the corner of my eye I could see this left foot just tapping tapping away..

My bhabhi bless her heart couldn't help herself and came out with "Bhai.. thand lag rahi hai.. Kambal chaiye aap ko..lai aon? "

Me and my cousins couldn't withhold the laughter any longer so had to all run out ..

Dad wasn't keen on the family so thankfully I got out of it (narrow escape) .. what ALLAH wills.. I know it was for the best

Still don't know really what the guy looked like, just that his shoes were very polished (I think that is a military thing) and his socks were grey .. must have been boring :)

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okay

Timepass - June 2013
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Re: How did your rishta come about?

^^lol:)

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Re: How did your rishta come about?

sombody has loszt it

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Re: How did your rishta come about?

I had 2 rishtas 2 years ago where i had to meet the people.

One came round to my khalas house while we were in pakistan and he was a really really nice guy and we clicked, but the following days my bro became very ill and we couldnt reply to them and when we got back to england and called them up, that evening the boy was getting engaged to someone else :(

The other rishta came to our house and ate all our food and then rejected me cause im moti and not gori, im like average skin tone!ok i was moti at the time and im working on it slowly.

We had two more interests over the phone but then rejections later on because my cousin got divorced....i dont know how this reflects on me by whatever.

So for a year i really havnt had any rishtas and im too scared to start the process properly again until im happy with my body and the way i look.

I just wish it was easy and not stressful for my parents i feel sorry for them.

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Re: How did your rishta come about?

Thats so terrible! :hugz: It was their loss anyway :snooty: Insh’Allah, you’ll find someone who you can get on with and who will appreciate you for who you are!