Like, a man is not supposed to hit a woman…like ever…
so, like if there is a an argument/fight and the female person throws a slap or kick or something, what should the guy person do? Like, just take it and move on?
Re: How a man is supposed to deal with a female adversary
Abuse is abuse regardless of the gender. The victim has the right to protect herself /himself.
Re: How a man is supposed to deal with a female adversary
so you not a proponent of ''a real man never raises his hands on a womenz"??
Re: How a man is supposed to deal with a female adversary
Why would you want to stoop to your female adversary’s level?
Re: How a man is supposed to deal with a female adversary
Is protection stooping? Nomica mentioned very mild examples of abuse, but it may reach to extreme levels. Moreover, why should anyone, regardless of gender, accept abuse?
Now, protection doesn’t necessarily mean striking back but that depends on the situation a person is in.
Re: How a man is supposed to deal with a female adversary
The funny thing is when a woman hits a man… it results in a lot of speculations, jokes, black humor and what not… to me violence is unacceptable n wrong regardess of the gender and it should be taken seriously…
here in this video a woman is constantly hitting a man…and the guy is not hitting back…and people are making video…and nobody is taking it seriously.. had the guy been aggressor here… people would have bombed the **** out of him.
GRe: How a man is supposed to deal with a female adversary
It’s catch 22 lol. You don’t.
Re: How a man is supposed to deal with a female adversary
It’s not man vs woman. Abuse is simply not acceptable and self defense is acceptable.
Re: How a man is supposed to deal with a female adversary
I remember reading about a man who was physically abused by his wife, a police officer, for years. He told his story later on. I also remember watching a video of a social experiment where the public came to protect a lady when she was being hit by a guy and they didn’t bat an eyelid when the guy was being hit by the lady. In fact, some even laughed.
We fought against female abuse, child abuse, LGBT and a few decades down the road we will be fighting against male abuse.
Of course if we were to compare the abuse faced by men and women, women would have a higher percentage. But male abuse exists too.
At the end of the day we simply need to see each other as humans. That’s all that matters.
Re: How a man is supposed to deal with a female adversary
I totally agree
Re: How a man is supposed to deal with a female adversary
Legally you’re allowed to use proportionate force if your well-being is endangered and she is an active threat to you or people around you, however if she hits you once and backs off then you don’t have any legal protections to let you go all Jackie Chan on her. If she hits you then you should report her to the police and she’ll be charged with assault or battery. Hitting her would get you in trouble.
Re: How a man is supposed to deal with a female adversary
Is there anything in Nomi’s original post that clearly indicates a “struggle” taking place that would necessitate self-defense? …Because honestly I didn’t get that impression from his post. For example, if she’s pummeling her fists at you…if it’s a situation where she’s not backing down…then do what you need to in order to keep her at a distance and get yourself and others out of harm’s way. But if she’s given you a slap…(which you were unable to prevent)…and then her slap is followed by a pause where she’s not physically attacking you (she’s backed down)…striking her then doesn’t look like self-defense; it looks more like payback.
Re: How a man is supposed to deal with a female adversary
You’re right. I was talking about extreme situations and not the mild one’s he mentioned.
Re: How a man is supposed to deal with a female adversary
If she lays a hand on you just report her to authorities, even if she gets off without prosecution it’ll still mess up her permanent record
Re: How a man is supposed to deal with a female adversary
Re: How a man is supposed to deal with a female adversary
i didn’t mean to layout a specific scenario…i meant more in a cultural sense not strictly legal…
'cause there is no clarity as to what a ‘culturally appropriate’ response should be from a man -
Re: How a man is supposed to deal with a female adversary
In situations where police is more trouble than help, I’ve had super heated arguments with guys weaker than myself who even pushed me or elbowed me. I just block their hits and show restraint because I know they are out of their minds and are no match for me. I would totally hit back someone near par or above in strength though. I see women the same way and would show restraint, though I totally understand how crazy they get with their hands and feet. A slap though isn’t so easy to swallow if I didn’t do anything wrong. But then there are guys who say or do some nasty stuff after which they get a slap from a woman. Those slaps are well deserved and should be taken as a lesson.
Re: How a man is supposed to deal with a female adversary
Let’s put culture aside. What is the religiously appropriate response? When it comes to just ‘slapping,’ the act is forbidden. The Prophet SAWS prohibited striking the face. Respond in a manner which is more afzal in the sight of Allah. In some cases, Allah has allowed us more than one option. But He has also made it known which of them is more noble in His sight. For example, one has the right to exact revenge that is equivalent to the harm done. However, forgiveness is also an option and it is more afzal.
I’m not justifying physical abuse. But some attention also needs to be given to the behavior that provoked the physical response. For example, if you are persistently taunting someone (verbal abuse)…and they punch you in the face…the latter is more wrong. However, your behavior does not merit a shabaashi either. A ‘lesser’ mistake/wrong is still a wrong; it deserves attention and needs to be improved upon.
Re: How a man is supposed to deal with a female adversary
true, from religious perspective its as you stated… my question relates more to the social /cultural constructs and behaviour expected of men…and what it should be…
Re: How a man is supposed to deal with a female adversary
And in response I ask you the following questions: Do you give greater priority to religion or culture? To Allah or the men of your culture that will not come to your aid on the Day of Reckoning? Decide for yourself whom you fear more; the men or their Creator.
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If she’s not backing down, then you have the right to physically defend yourself.
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If she has backed down and then you strike her…it’s not going to diffuse the conflict. There’s a chance it can escalate. And even if the score-board is now even, how are you any different or better than her? You both showed a loss of self-control; it’s just that she lost it before you.
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If you had provoked/hurt her in some way prior to her physical attack; then you have a responsibility to reflect upon your own transgressions. Being a man is not only about physical strength; it’s about character as well and the latter has much to do with self-restraint. You might “salvage” the image of your physical strength/pride before your male friends. But if you didn’t bother to reflect/learn from your mistakes…then you’re still the same fool. As the saying goes, “All brawn but no brains.”
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There’s a female coworker on my team who is the perfect example of a work-place bully. She resorts to name-calling via text and insulting colleagues in conferences and in front of their students. I am fully capable of verbally knocking her down a few pegs. However, I chose not to stoop to her level (as tempting as it was). As a result, it strengthened my case when I showed the evidence to admin. Alhumdolillah my reputation is in a better place than hers. Imagine how much more shameful it will now be for her…simply because the other person took a higher road. Sometimes, Nomi, the guilt/shame of a transgression stings worse when we don’t respond in kind. And it can secure/strengthen our position. Sometimes relationships are saved when at least one person has better self-control.