Re: House wives
Agreed. The concept of women taking on a domestic role is more traditional than religous.
Re: House wives
Come on people! Give this guy a break. Can't someone express his opinion? I am sure Anil, despite the comments of some ladies here, you will find plenty out there who would like to stay at home after marriage. Make sure you don't fall for the one who does not want. Good Luck.
Re: House wives
Oh come on! Now you have lost all your credibility. There is definitelly traditional, cultural, natural, biological background of women better at raising kids and definitely a religious one as well. The times are changing, so the roles are changing as well, but that does not mean that there was no logic in what was (is) being done.
Re: House wives
WitchDr, Firstly thanks for the kind words in your previous post; I appreciate the back up. Secondly, as far as I know Islam does not say that women HAVE to take responsibility of the domestic scene. It is preferable (from a male point of view). I could be wrong as I'm not claiming to be a scholar.
Again, the kind words are appreciated.
Re: House wives
What's all the commotion about? Most of the girls in Pakistan agree with Anil.
Re: House wives
The way that I see it is that a woman rules the household. The poor husband is working his butt off for his wife and kids. He's slaving for them. Sure his wife may keep the house clean and cook a dinner for him once in a while. Men are simple, easy to please. They just want to be loved and appreciated. Whether a woman works outside the home or not is not a major issue. What keeps a marriage happy is when there is harmony between the husband and wife. They need to find a balance and lifestyle that works for them. But no nanny or daycare can provide the kind of love, early education, emotional support, self-esteem and guidance that a mother can provide. I believe strongly that children need the security of a mother's love so they can blossom into secure adults. But once kids are in school full time why shouldn't a wife pursue her own goals? Every human wants to keep striving to make themselves a better person. Why should a woman just remain in a shell...as though her husband pressed the pause button on her until he comes home?
Re: House wives
Have you conducted a survey?
Re: House wives
I agree with most of what you said. However, I feel maternal care doesn't end once children start going to school. Someone has to be home when they get back to feed them, ask them about their day, y'know elevate them socially and give them all kinds of love that only mothers can. Mothers have to put their kids first and worry about their "goals" later. If I was a female, nothing could tear me apart from my kids. Especially not something as weak as "making a difference" as someone suggested earlier.
Re: House wives
You can’t judge another person’s motives. Kids don’t just need a mother who is physically there with them spoonfeeding them when they’re 12 years old. My mother worked as well and I got home from school and waited an hour for her to come home. I made a snack for my brothers and myself, did homework, watched t.v. I learned some independence and responsibility. My mother was fulfilled and happy, she had an income and a passion. We all pitched in and helped eachother at home. It was a team effort. That’s how a home is run.
Re: House wives
I didnt read all replies, but I can say for myself that just being a housewife isnt satisfiying for me. As an adult I have worked almost most of my time and now I am in maternity leave for 1-2 years and I feel that I'm not doing most with my life and my ability, good cleaning the home and cooking takes only 2 hours the most daily and rest of the time I'm watching TV or visiting family friends, going shopping or spending time with my baby. I do have stress free life now, but I miss my office routine, I guess JUST being a housewife and mother isnt for me.
Re: House wives
My thinking based on my personal observation is that if men are required to take care of children at home and women are required to work out, men will do a much better job at it. To me it appears that men have much more patience than women. And men usually have the sensibility to keep children away from emotional or relationship jargons. If a wife had a quarrel with her husband, almost for sure she will discuss that with her children. Men usually don't do like that. IMHO.
Re: House wives
If the family was in need financially then I would agree with your mother's decision to work. However, if the reason for work was soley for "extra income" then I'd have to respectfully disagree with your mother's decision.
Re: House wives
What a lovely thread, no?
A bunch of kiddies barely out of their huggie diapers penning falsafay on how life should be.
Go out there for once, live and realize how hard it is to survive.
Who said a woman cannot be a houseperson and have a career.
And im not talking bout those women who have a nice lil nanny at home taking care of the kiddies while they go and work 9-5 just so they have a bit of pocket money to spend on Gucci bags and DaVinci gowns.
No wonder half the world is screwed.
Re: House wives
Ive said this before, if both husband n wife r working, or if she's staying at home taking care of the kids, then he better not xpect perfect home cooked meals and a spotless house when he gets home from work. When one spouse works and the other doesnt, then one should be in charge of the home, while the other earns for them. When both are working, then responsibilities should be shared.. all too often, women who work are still xpcted to be the perfect housewife/mother which isn't really fair.
Re: House wives
Witchy I donno what type of women you’ve come across in ure life, but no mature, rational woman would ever discuss or badmouth her husband in front of her kids.. 
Nothin wrong xtra income, as long as other priorities (for me school, for others, home, kids etc) are not suffering..
Re: House wives
Trust me Sara, lots of women do that. Unfortunatley
Re: House wives
^ It depends really.. if she has a fight wiht him and is telling her 8 yr old daughteR "beta ur father is a pig" then yeah thats kinda wrong.. but if she has a fight wiht him and tells her 20 yr old daughter, "beta this is what your father did", thats different.. Besides one lil fight doesnt make a big difference.. it's when those lil fights are happening every other day that can really warp the baccha's mind..
Re: House wives
Every single fight makes a difference. I may be wrong, but by my thinking there would be plenty of people here who would take side with their mothers instead of their fathers; Not because their fathers were bad but because their mothers, intentionally or unintentionally, talked against their husbands with them over a long time. And then over a very long period of time, till the time, the children mature (some never do), the thinking gets settled in their brain. Most women do not realize that their husbands out there are putting a lot of effort to make money for all of them.
Re: House wives
now isn't the city doomed, mr.anil khan doesn't think much of it : p
I feel a lot of people think a woman only works for financial reasons. They don't realize that most women, if not most then atleast a good percentage of them work for reasons other than the money.
In life there are always phases when one thing is more important than the rest. You want it the most and concentrate all your energies into attaining it. It could be love, work, spiritual contentment, to be a better human being, to give in order to heal others and yourself, to make a lot of money, to give a lot of charity and anything else besides. One of my aunts who was a German, an interior designer and who was doing pretty decently in terms of money just left it all one day to go to Afghanistan and work as a relief worker. She was there for a whole three years. And now she's happily married to my uncle. I asked her why she did what she did and she said she just wanted to do it, there's no other explanation and nor is she going to try to be holier than thou and say how she had to change the world and that...but yes it definitely has changed the way she looks at life. She's at home most of the time now looking after her baby girl. And in a few years' time she wants to pick up her house designing from where she left it.
A household is most happy when each of it's member is doing what they wish to do in life and when the others can recognize this need of self growth and cooperate. One should take one's responsibilities seriously but I guess that happens automatically when you have a family.
Re: House wives
A household is most happy when each of it's member is doing what they wish to do in life and when the others can recognize this need of self growth and cooperate. One should take one's responsibilities seriously but I guess that happens automatically when you have a family.
Nikki.M while most of it appears true and fascinating, you are talking about ideal case scenario, where the wishes of each other are not in conflict. Most of the time the wishes of the partners are in conflict because of practical issues or due to personality issues. One must realize that marriage is a compromise; you may have to give up part of your dreams to make the marriage work. There is no work around. If one doesn't mind repeated divorces to reach Nirvana at the end, that is another story.