I dunno, maybe its cause I’m old fashioned but I feel more married women should be house wives. In this modern time that we live in more and more women want to get out in the work force and want to earn a living. There is nothing wrong with this concept if the family is in trouble financially. However, when the husband is earning a decent living then, I feel, there is no need for the wife to work. Women’s main responsibility is to be incharge of the house; they are the primary care giver and hence have a huge role to play in a childs upbringing.
Many will accuse me of being sexist but I assure you all this is not the case. I just feel males and females have a specific role in life that should not be interchanged.
I wouldn’t expect any thing different from someone who’s sitting in bombay. What I said in that thread is what most people feel (but won’t admit). Difference is I’m not afraid to say it. I reiterate, that was/is MY opinion; everyone is entitled to theirs.
Further, you should check your defination of what a racist is.
I like what you have in ur head about those sitting in Bombay. And keep it in mind every time ur talkin to them. I agree with you on all of us being entitled to our opinions though. I guess the difference lies in the way we put it.
No need to get mean to each other here people....its only natural - when 2 people lovingly create their own little person - that they want just the very best for the little one.
With the advent of consumerism, some people think these days that the best for the little one is to buy them all the latest things, enroll them in the latest classes and the best skools. Others think that the best thing is spend quality time with the little one.
I'm a gori but of the "old" school. I want to BE there for my kiddies and let them know that the Mom and dad are there for them always for whatever their concerns or needs may be. I hope and pray that they will turn out fine and I am firm in my convictions that I'm doing the right thing for MY kids. But other people have different ideas and their kids turn out fine too. THere are plusses and minuses to whatever route you choose, whatever path you follow.
Just do your best and above all, marry someone who is in agreement with the way you want "yours" to be raised!!
O and Anil, before you suppose to be spokes person for all humanity, you may want to relocate yourself from the Middle ages into the 21st century. In this day and age women do what they want - not conform to backwards-chauvanists every other whim. Its a hard life.
Hiccy, i see your point in a way but also realize that there are women out there who would just love to be able to be home with their littles. When you have a "Partner" for a husband AND he is able to provide a good living, you're just about the luckiest person on the planet!! Because then you can decide for yourelf (and your family) what you think is the best thing to do - either work and have the extra income or to have less materially but more in the way of family-time. Theres much more to it than that of course but the main thing here is the "partnership" thing. I mean, my hubby doesnt expect a spotlessly clean house and a hot meal waiting for him but if that happens then he is delighted. But he understands completely when laundry is behind or vacumming hasnt been done etc. Shades of difference in the attitudes accomplish worlds of difference!
In an ideal world, I would love to be married to a housewife. I grew up in a family where my mother was a housewife and that's the ideal environment I'd like my kids to be raised in.
However, I don't believe that it's economically feasible in this day and age. The spectacular rise in living costs over the past 2 decades, particularly property prices, means that as I sit here and budget my future I can't see being able to make ends meet on just my salary alone, even allowing for promotions and pay rises.
We no longer live in our parents' era. Rampant inflation since then without a corresponding rise in pay has meant that it takes 2 incomes to buy today what 1 income could buy in the past.
One guy in my company who's worked at the company over 30 years said it best, when he said to a bunch of new hires that he really felt sorry for them. He said that their salary could buy so much less than a starting salary could back in the 1960s.
when a human's basic needs are satisfied...the need to satisfy the need of 'self-actualization' arises. to want to make a difference, to want to DO something with their lives.
for some women it might be equal to making a difference by raising their children, for others it might be to run a small business, and for some it might be to become a rockstar. some men dont appreciate women who are not ambitious careerwise...and others only see women in the housewife mold. as said above..you should marry someone who thinks alike. the worst thing is when a woman with ambitions is married into a household with "you can finish studies after marriage" promises and then is not given adequate opportunity to.
and the 'woman as caretaker' phrase is passe'....they've long ago started making waves in the workforce. all that needs to be removed is the culturally ingrained insecurities they have of themselves.
well i agree the main responsibility of a couple is to raise their children properly meaning educate um about their culture, religion, ethics..... anyway all i got to say, atleast one of the partner should stay at home and it could be either the wife or hubby.
i have seen a lot of decent desi's family (both partner worked) having trouble communicating with their children. Almost all of their children are messed up mentally.
SO um Anil wht do u say of a guy taking incharge of the house meaning become house hubby and raise kids? :p
Many will accuse me of being sexist but I assure you all this is not the case. I just feel males and females have a specific role in life that should not be interchanged.
Your thoughts?
I am sure you were expecting all these answers :)
but anyways i completly agree with you and yes it varies with person to person. It has been clearly defined that it is man's FIRST duty to provide resources and woman's FIRST duty to take care of house hold ... i am sure every body has their own opinion and this needs to be clearly discussed with the person you are planning to marry, well ahead of time .
so in a reverse situation you believe its normal for a wife to have a well-built male masseus while hubby works?