Re: Hijaab equals Oppression
If something is wrong then its wrong . It needs a huge heart to admit it .
Says the person who rejects people because they do not wear hijab? Do you remember the story you told us in chat one day not too long ago, about rishtaa potentials who came in wearing a chaddar instead of an abaya or whatever it is that you prefer people wear in Peshawar?
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I was there and this is definitely NOT what she said. Weren't you the one with remarks on the behavior of 'Pakistani' women?
Re: Hijaab equals Oppression
Yeah, non-hijabis who are nonmuslim are probably judgemental of hijabis. I'm sure that's possible. They don't believe in it, they don't wear it, they're not used to seeing it - all leads to some ignorance on their part.
But I think non-hijabis who ARE muslim are fairly tolerant of it. I don't see girls not befriending other girls based on hijab. I don't see any girls making hijabis feel uncomfortable in social settings. If they feel uncomfortable, they should probably examine their history to see if they've made judgemental statements or stattements holier-than-thou that make other muslim girls uncomfortable. You'll see it's pretty obvious that usually the latter is more common. I'm sure there ARE nonhijabi muslims that are insensiive about these things, but most are pretty respectful of it even if they are not wearing it for whatever reasons they may have.
PCG, if you really need attention I'd suggest you give other means a try. Twisting people's words isn't really original. I was there and this is definitely NOT what she said. Weren't you the one with remarks on the behavior of 'Pakistani' women? How about you take a look at yourself first and then talk. Actually you know what, don't talk at all. All that comes out is negativity and you've run out of plausible excuses for your way of thinking. There's already plenty of negativity around, we don't need more. Thanks.
The comment was something like this: "I had this rishtaa once from a guy's family. The ladies who came to our home from his family wore chaddar, not the traditional burqa that ladies in our area wear. I thought it was pretty disrespectful to wear chaddars, instead of our traditional burqa and because of that, I rejected the rishtaa. Wearing burqa is that big of a deal in our culture".
What do you remember differently from this?
As I've said earlier, I've seen a variety of hijabis and non-hijabis, lol.
There was the hijabi woman that I worked with several years ago. She knew that I didn't do hijab and we got along well. Met her a couple of years later. We were sitting across from each other.....eating lunch.......talking. One of her hijabi friends was also with us. Things were going fine. And then SUDDENLY........my hijabi friend and HER hijabi friend start talking about.......hijab. And they say, "Non-hijabis will go to hell." It was as if I didn't exist to them......as if they were oblivious to the fact that I was even at the table having lunch with them. Only a few minutes ago, we were all talking to each other........................and BOOM such a comment. Feeling awkward..........I get up and leave without saying a word.
A couple of days later, I approach these two women to clarify/explain the reason behind my abrupt departure from the table. And one of them says to me, "Oh we figured that our comments/conversation was probably the reason you left the table." Anyhow....I let the matter go and we went back to speaking terms. But now that I look back over the incident..............I think it's odd that they didn't take the FIRST STEP to come talk to me if the already KNEW why I had left the table. Instead..............it was ME.......who took the first step and confronted them although I was the hurt party.
Hijab is not the be-all end all of salvation. Other things such as character are EVEN MORE important. There's the hadith where the Prophet SAWS said that a woman who practices Islam's rules and obligations will go to hell for not treating people with respect. And a woman who may not be so punctual or regular with the practices but treats people with kindness and respect will go to Jannah.
We get so caught up in judging one another. I gave above the example of hijabi women who behaved without tact. I've seen hijabi women who assume that those who don't do hijab are "not religious enough OR devoid of religion"...........how silly of them to "measure" one's iman or faith or level of religiousness based on a piece of cloth. There are also maulvis in Pakistan who sport long beards and MOLEST the children. Allah looks at our deeds and our HEARTS. Appearances can BELIE.
One of my closest friends is a hijabi......and I know other hijabans that are very nice, MashaAllah. People don't base their assumptions on "research"..........they base them on experiences. Only, we forget that we haven't had experience with EVERY SINGLE member of a group. You can't say that all hijabis are judgmental because you haven't met EVERY SINGLE hijabi in the world.
Let's face it (hijabis and non-hijabis....beard sporters......and the clean-shaven)...................we're ALL hypocritical to some extent or the other............we all struggle with following every rule.................we ALL make contradictions and mistakes/sins. Do your best........look at your own mistakes before pointing fingers at various groups..........and leave the judgment to Allah because it's a very complicated thing.
If hijabis were not known to be so judgemental, then where do all these stories come from. You know how common it is to hear these types of stories from people? And I honestly don't even know very many hijabis who behave like this, but even my hijabi friends will tell stories like this. I may not know many of these sorts of girls, honestly, but if even THEY tell me stories like this, I really wonder how many hijabis out there are really serious about their religion.
The comment was something like this: "I had this rishtaa once from a guy's family. The ladies who came to our home from his family wore chaddar, not the traditional burqa that ladies in our area wear. I thought it was pretty disrespectful to wear chaddars, instead of our traditional burqa and because of that, I rejected the rishtaa. Wearing burqa is that big of a deal in our culture".
What do you remember differently from this?
So you admit that you don't exactly know what was actually said, but for the sake of another post you'll just write down what you think she said. Nice one.
Re: Hijaab equals Oppression
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I did not jot down exactly what words she used, but this was the gist of it. She is welcome to clear up her comments if she wants.
PCG muster up the guts to name the person your quoting and then actually have the presence of mind to know heads or tails of the conversations you barge in on rather than making up your own lil stories to prove a point when you run out of other justifications.
Neither were you a part of the conversation , neither was the topic rishtaa ( surprise! surprise ! Not ALL of us obsess about marriage every waking moment)
What We were talking about was dressing and how it varies in differents parts of society and how some people change to adapt or feel the need to blend in forgetting what is prescribed in Islam. The fact that those women came with a proposal had nothing to do with it , in fact I did not even mention the result of that proposal , so kindly don’t jump to conclusions to conversations you were not privy to entirely ( and you wonder why people make separate rooms on chat and don’t invite you in 
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Re: Hijaab equals Oppression
wooohooo....!....i came here back to c more comments...but it seems like we r having a royal rumble over here! :).... ChiLL Ladies!
We all know dat Hijab is Wajib!.
Hijab is the principal of modesty in islam and includes behavior as well as dress code for both male and female!.
NoOne is perfect in this world!. Sometimes ppl fail to understand the deep meanings behind islamic rulings!. Dere mite be alot of other personality traits n ignorance in a hijabi or non-hijabi, which wud be bringing out irrational reactions towards a non-hijabi or hijabi!,
so,whats da use of throwing tantrums at each other and judging?.
wooohooo....!....i came here back to c more comments...but it seems like we r having a royal rumble over here! :).... ChiLL Ladies!
*We all know dat Hijab is Wajib!. * Hijab is the principal of modesty in islam and includes behavior as well as dress code for both male and female!. NoOne is perfect in this world!. Sometimes ppl fail to understand the deep meanings behind islamic rulings!. Dere mite be alot of other personality traits n ignorance in a hijabi or non-hijabi, which wud be bringing out irrational reactions towards a non-hijabi or hijabi!, so,whats da use of throwing tantrums at each other and judging?.
Yes, we do know it. That's why some of us (Alhamdulillah) wear it. However there are people who know it, but even dare to bad mouth it. THAT is wrong.
Re: Hijaab equals Oppression
Chilly Sweety! U r rite about ppl saying it bad! :)
And yes ppl **can be **bad and wrong **but not **Hijab!
Re: Hijaab equals Oppression
despite efforts of portraying oneself as a highly educated individual PCG has yet again failed to understand wat someone actually said, u really need to go n learn wat the Quran says about covering oneslf reather than making judgments
now back to topic answer
hijab does n can cover ur bossom depending how u wear it, even if it dsnt it covers the hair, which i assume nowadays girls/ladies tend to get a haircut n style if fr fashion purposes no? so its there to HIDE ur beauty, well thts wat i think anyway
i have short hair n wen i go out i always wear hijaab, its my imaan, even tho it can b very hard in todays society to maintain it, so hats off to all that do hijaab
Re: Hijaab equals Oppression
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A few points.
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That was not a private conversation. It was done openly on your microphone. Not in a private room. Not with people blocked. You were talking openly.
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I do not wish to name your name without your permission, as I actually RESPECT you and your privacy. Whether you want to divulge that this story belongs to you, is really up to you.
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Don’t even talk to me about talking about marriage all the time. That’s all you ever talk about as well.
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You actually said that you REJECTED this rishtaa BECAUSE you were apalled by their dress. That a chaddar isn’t enough for the town you live in.
Re: Hijaab equals Oppression
^ PCG I was also there when we had this discussion and at no point Sheyn said that. She did mention wearing burqa, when visiting ancestral town in rural NWFP, and she was very supportive of it. You were busy in bashing burqa and idea of wearing burqa in those areas. It's common sense that when one person feels very strong about something then he/she will not take a u-turn in the same discussion. At no point I or anyelse present there noticed any change in Sheyn's opinion about the issue. The rishta event did came up, but it was not related to burqa or chaddar. So instead of judging Sheyn based on YOUR interpretation of what sheyn said, focus on issue at hand and discuss that.
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Re: Hijaab equals Oppression
Can I just say.. PCG u have got that conversation all twisted.. I was there too and I dont re-call Sheyn saying anything of the sort!! The topic of conversation was dressing differently in different societies.
Thank god we were all there to witness it eh Sheyn? God knows what other accusations would go flying otherwise.
Re: Hijaab equals Oppression
Are you guys serious? I asked her like 3 times if I had heard correctly. She said she just did not think it was appropriate for them to come to her home wearing chaddar.
Wow. Unbelievable.