Re: HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i have a long story to discuss with everyone, but before i do, i would ask those who are ready with the usual responses of 'dump him', 'he's using u', etc to not even bother reading. i am looking for some genuine advice here.
the guy i have been in love with for over a year is from karachi. he doesn't have a dad n 5 sisters, 4 of whom r married now. his mom had to work pretty hard to raise 6 kids on her own and marry 4 of them. his one divorced sis and his one unmarried sis live with his mom in khi. he did his bcom or something (some 2 year course) but never got a proper bachelors. he was working as an IT manager at pak and getting paid approx 13000 rs/month. he really wanted to study abroad, so he applied for uk. i am from canada so i kept forcing him to please come to canada but he listened to his friends and came to uk with literally 300 pounds in his pocket. i paid 4500 pounds for his tuition fees, because he had no money. i had just finished uni then so it was basically all my savings, but i had hoped that once he got a nice degree from uk n was settled, it will be all good for the both of us. what i didn't know was that his friend got him an admission in a college that had it's licence suspended a week after he got to uk, and he wasn't even interested in the course that he got admission in. his main goal was to make money and somehow get settled abroad without having to study too much. he has wasted a year and so much money and has nothing to show for it!
well, after he was already in uk, he got a job at a shop and later as a security officer working on cash and making approx 200-500 pounds a week. he was sending 200-300 pounds a month back home to his mom per month, so he never saved even a penny. just recently his security company told him that they could no longer keep him as he was on student visa and they were no longer hiring ppl on cash and they just want people to work full time for them and students in uk are only allowed to work 20 hours a week. he has been looking for another job ever since he got laid off but he is not able to find anything. to top it all off, his college is closing down at the end of this year. he cannot get admission in another college cuz he has no money and i don't have any savings either. he told me that he wanted to come to canada on a visit visa and then marry me here in secret (paper marriage) and apply for his pr here and study/work here until he settles down. my mom wants to have her future son-in-law visit her so she agreed to send him a sponsorship letter but she doesn't know anything about his money situation, his visa problem or his college. today my mom talked to her lawyer and the lawyer asked for his passport copy/letter from college saying that he is enrolled there/bank statement. he said that he will do some 'juagar' (I HATE THAT WORD!!!) and pay some money to his corrupted college and get them to issue him a letter but he has absolutely no money in his account (barely 200 pounds). i know he won't get any visit visa this way because they will know that his college is closed down, he has no money and that he will def. settle down in canada. when i raised that issue to him today he told me to tell my parents about his money problem. i got so mad at him saying that if he wanted to tell them he could because i am seriously not interested. now it is at a point where he's like, 'u think u r so smart, u r a heroine, but u r not. tell ur parents something will be done cuz so many ppl visit canada n blah blah'. so i told him that yes, i was smart, smarter than him at least. i have a university degree, he doesn't even have that. i know i acted bee-itchy but i got pissed and he hung up and that is that. i really don't know what to do now. should i just back off and let him deal with it however he wants? should i tell my parents? i am going crazy here!!!!!!
Just imagine.. the two of you are not living under one roof yet and this is the situation.. what will happen when you start to live together and share everything..
Im not saying it always ends up bad.. it can be good.. but maybe you should think of your own good what is best for you. what makes you happy. which decision will asure you a happy life, future. Think about what you want.. not anybody else..
at the end of the day you will have to live/deal with him when you're married.. are you willing to be with him despite of all this? What if it gets worse after you get married then? have you thought about it..
I would advise you.. to have a nice long bath.. clear your head.. and then when you're out of the bathroom.. think about your own happiness ask yourself the question whether.. or not he is the kind of man you want to be spending the rest of your life with..
I hope you make the right decision and it all ends well..
