Okay joking (not really) aside, stop caring about what he wants. Stop caring what ppl will think. Like everyone said, everything you did was halal and lawful in the eyes of Allah swt. DO NOT concern yourself with what will happen in our stupid desi culture and the pieces of shiit who like to talk BS becoz there's nothign decent going on in their own lives. He is being selfish, manipulative and a horrible person. Count your blessings that you're finding this out now before you went even further like moving in with him.
As for your son, he's still young, you said he's only 6 years old. With time, as long as noone keeps talking about it or rubbing it in your face, he'll forget about this guy as well. I hope you've a job and some education so it will be possible for you to raise him without too much help from messed up relativesn ppl or strangers. Just raise him to NOT be the 2 shiitfaced men you've come across in your life.
Btw, what's ur first husband's role in all this mess? Is he still involved with your son or family?
*the guy doesnt deserve you. he is such a coward and immature and dumb.i wonder y people take such hasty steps. now tht he has shown his true colors i advise you to leave him and move on. he doesnt deserve such a nice female like u who is willing to sacrifice everything. u shudnt stick around with him anymore as he has made up his mind. so y stick with sucha man who is not at all serios abot u and just wants to dump everything in trash and forget abot the nikah tht he did in a flash. i wud say again tht forget this man and move on. *
*YOu have to b brave now. i pray to ALlah to give u strength. u hav to b strong. develop a new attitude. change urself. dont b the old u. u shudnt giv a damn to wat people say and wat will they say wen they come to know. *
** So wat? tell them. it happens. its life. such ups and downs comes in a million peoples life. u have to understand and make them understand tht u are not the only female facing this. its world. ***tt happens. *
*so forget everything and think abot ur child. start a new life with him for him. find happiness, create happiness with ur child. live for him and only him. who knows GOd after seeing u suffer so much mite send someone who is made to love u to respect u. so carry on with ur life. u never know wen life will take u to the track of happiness and love forever. *
WE all will pray for u. So dont b weak. dont show ur weakness to anyone. b strong. if u show weakness then everyone will pound on u. u are living in a jungle. i call this earth a jungle. we are all living around jungle law. weak always looses. strong wins. dont let anyone take u for granted. face it like a brave woman. fight it out.
yup thats the solution. what a khassi excuse for a human being. chop his balls and feed it to the pigs. cant beleive there r pakis like that. u sure he is not indian.
That, at the same time he takes you out telling you he wants to finish it. What more do you need to realise hes a creep to the core? He couldn’t careless about a woman’s feelings. He used you as a plaything or as a quick romance without any care in the world of the repercussions, let alone hurting someone. He’s a pure selfish ba$tard and wouldn’t realise the distress he’s causing unless someone screwed his mother over.
He can’t make your life hell than it already is, hes just talking sh1t. A laywer will screw him over good. He’ll feel it when a large chunk of his wallet goes. And the truth is things WILL turn sour sooner or later so its best to prepare yourself mentally for this AND let his family know of the trouble he has caused. Don’t let them walk away with you to pick up the pieces. Name and shame.
Also, go for the ‘Bobbit’ option.
PS. I don’t know how the American legal system works in this case but is a nikkah enough to take him to court or is an official, legal marriage certificate required?
^ Ajnabi Larki, I suggest you take some time off and just go to the beach or a park or something and do something fun with your son. First cool down.
Then, immediately go and speak to the Imam who did your nikkah - ONE. Then get ahold of a lawyer (maybe even someone in your community who wont charge you much, or the Imam can help you find someone if you can't afford one). Make sure you have your LEGAL MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE. If your nikkah was one just done by a sham imam, then you'll be out luck.
See what your rights are. He has played with your mind and played with you emotionally, and made various threats against you, and has accused you of black magic.
I think you can get a couple hundred out of him easy. Also, if you get the Imam involved, then maybe the Imam can talk to his family and speak to him as well. Let them feel a little crunchy.
Please don't believe in his threats. You are living in the States - he can't do anything to you, and if he tries, he's going to land his butt in jail. Or maybe get deported if he's not a citizen.
Again, PLEASE DON'T BELIEVE IN HIS THREATS. Speak to a lawyer at this point, and DONT EVEN TELL HIM ABOUT IT. Just see what the lawyer has to say and go from there.
Ajnabilarki -- It would be wise to tell your parents everything. Turn to them for advice and help. Dont sit and blame yourself or the guy. It wont help ,and it definately wont get you anywhere. You have a son, do all in your power to take care of him. If this marriage wasnt meant to be, so be it. Dont live on false hope. Sometimes things work out, other times they dont. Dont let this guy ruin your life.
Of course I dont mean it literally.. (unless u wanna take it literally i guess) but my point is… guys like these, families like these, cannot be reached through reason… trash needs to be treated like trash..
I am not sure if it would be prudent but how about printing this thread and sending it to him via regular snail mail. A copy may also be sent to his father, et al.
I just want to thank you all for your support. I talked to my brother about all this and I cried my eyes out yesterday. It was also my B-day so it was even more emotional for me-not to have him there. My brother married a girl who he was in love with and my parents were against it because she was christien but he forced her on to them and when they got to know her they also loved her. Now they are so happy. He made a decision and stuck by it even when everyone was against it. My husband has a problem of giving in when things get hard even if he doesnt want to. My brother and his wife toke me and my son to the Pool because my son had been asking for my "husband" so they thought maybe it would take his mind off of him. Then they toke us out to eat so we can talk about the situation. He called me last night and he tried to call me this morning but I do not want to talk to him right now. I have decided that Im not going to sit and cry over this-I need to think about my son. I have a good job and I will try to get a apartment and raise my son on my own. I never thought about moving out of our family home unless I got remarried because I thought a good muslim girl should be in the family home untill she gets married-but now I know I cant stay. It would be impossible for me to face anyone. I just want to be happy. I dont know what I did to deserve any of this. I dont know why my son has to go through all of this. I do know one thing-I love my son very much. I will never let anyone hurt us again. I will not trust anyone-it would be too hard after this. I am still young -its not like im some old women. I still have people asking for my rishta and when they find out I have a son they are shocked. If this does not work out I dont plan on ever getting remarried. I tell myself that maybe he isnt thinking and when he actually thinks about what we had and what he has lost then I pray that that guilt hits him hard-and that is something he will have to live with. He is being selfish and that is not my fault. I know that his family has alot to do with all this and it hurts me that a mother wouldnt tell her son to work things out and accept a decision her grown son has made. I guess its easier when you only have two sons not to care about the girls reputaion-to tell your son you can marry this girl and then say no-marry this one. Its messed up because hse new that while we were engaged we talked and he got close with me and my son emotionally. Maybe if she had had a daughter she would understand that pain of a mother that has a daughter and she would have thought twice. It hurts me so much and I dont think this pain will go away even with time. My son saw me cry and I tried to hide my tears last night but he saw me. He really doesnt know what this will do to us-he only cares about himself. It hurts. My son father had gone to Pakistan and got remarried and he is living in America-but his wife isnt here yet. He see's my son every Friday but since I got married my son has not even wanted to see him. My ex husband didnt push him to come over. I guess my son felt like now that I was remarried that he had stability and he even called my husband his DAD. When he asks about him I tell him he is at work only because I dont know what is happening yet. I am scared and I feel alone. I pray that something good happens and Allah guides us both and helps us get past this.
well ajnabi larki bohot afsos hai hum sab ko. i know its difficult to forget. but u shud now leave it and keep it behind u and move forward. Alhamdolillah u have a job. God has blessed u with a wonderful kid. take care of him. and be happy with him. now he is ur happiness. he is ur life. move out and live a life with this kid. we all pray tht Allah giv u happiness and make u strong and lessen ur pain. u are a strong woman. who knows at one point in life u mite atlast meet someone who is genuinly good and is honest man.we will pray for u. i know it will b difficult for u to trust someone now but hey dont loose trust in Allah and keep praying to him. God bless u and ur kid.
Good, I'm glad you have your brother for some moral support. If you ever need to speak to someone then go to them. It seems like he's one person that is very open minded in your family.
You know what ajnabilarki, in the longrun you are better off without this sonofababoon, imagine what he could do to you after marriage. Dont lose faith, you can re-marry and Islam allows for that - dont think about society - you are only answerable to Allah. Leave the prick and move on - hes doing you a favour really, you deserve much more! God bless you.
true: u r better off without him.. but dont let him off so easily..put up a fight! hire a lawyer.. register ur nikkah and atleast get half of what he owns! tell his parents. show up on his door steps! DO SOMETHING... just dont back out without giving him a piece of hell that u r going through because of that idiot right now.