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Why by lawyer.. if he doesnt want to be with her.. do u think after lawyer he is going to keep her happy..
he will say 3 times talaq everything khatam..
and keep in mind that the son is not his.. it is her first husband’s.. i don’t know the law much about these stuff.. but i think he can claim and say that he is not my son so why should i care about him after divorce… Wat do u say?am not sure
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jan she can do that.. but think of after guy bringing her to his house..
how will his parents treat her?
how will her poor son suffer?
wat will he think after growing up in a house where no one but her mom loves him.. ?
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He does not want to be with her, she has to accept it.
You’re hte typical desi. You have to live your life for yourself, not for the damn, fked up community. The community isn’t that great to begin wtih I dont c why u guys get all hot and bothered by it :o. Its sad that the blame will be on her, but again, it doesn’t matter what neighbors and what other ppl will think. Only ppl tha tmatter are your immediate family, not distant relatives, not the community, not the type of ppl who r okay wiht their husbands beating them
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^ Exactly. People will talk and they will always talk. No matter how much zulm he does to her, people will talk about her. So why encourage her to actually care for these idle tongues? Isn't THAT making the situation worse?
The fact of the matter is that he's breaking it off without really sitting and talking to her about it, and that's not fair to her. If he doesn't want to be in the marriage anymore, that's fair for him to say it. But at least sit down with the woman and talk about it. At least sit down and think of what the other person is going through.
And at least THINK before you sign nikkahnamas in the first place.
AjnabiLarki, you don't need to worry yourself over what others think. Like I told you in private, if you were strong enough to get thru the first guy that screwed you over, then you're strong enough to get thru this one as well.
All I say is give the guy a taste of his own medicine at first.
As for lawyers, they can pull all kinds of tricks. If anything, she can suit for emotional distress.
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^ ok so sara u are saying that she should not care about the community only her family? but who is going to close the freaken relatives's mouth.. sara come on be realistic.. u cant face everyone, now a days ppl need a topic to talk about..how is she going to raise her son? . think about her son.. how will her son face the ppl?
do u think after growing up he can take this?
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Attia, she doesn't have to raise her son in the community!!!
My family has remained pretty isolated from the desi community, and we're perfectly fine living our lives the way we do. Raising a child away from a desi community is actually a good thing.
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I can’t believe people worry about what others think in these sorts of situations where primarily your first concern is you and your immediate family.
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^ ok .. if u have experienced living away from desi family .. then may be ur right.. then maybe having a lawyer will help her.. lets seee..
but for now.. Allah karay us ko justice hee milay :)
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Hate? Such men dont deserve to live. He should be brought down.
AjnabiLarki, listen to me. Try your level best to save the marriage. IF you are not able to, DO NOT go down alone. Bring him down with you. Like PCG said, you did nothing wrong. In the end we are all answerable to Allah, and you have nothing wrong. You got legally married, and YOU need to stand up for yourself and YOU SON.
After this incident, i believe there cannot be any love. You need to go cold, he made your life miserable and your entire family’s, how can you still love him. He needs to pay for this.
Get a lawyer, and make sure he and his family pays for what they did to you. You have a nikkahnama and marriage certificate, you have nothing to be afraid of.
And finally, you gotta believe that everything happens for the best. Have faith in Allah, for he tests only those whom he loves. Have faith, patience and be strong, we will all be praying for you.
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Attia stop replyin to this thread, you puttin wrong ideas ajnabilarki’s mind 
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^ ok if so many ppl are saying to get a lawyer then may be she should.. may be iam thinking wrong.. all i was afraid is that wat will happen to her son?
he is the one who will suffer the most after growing up.... if the lawyer can help that as well then why not?
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iam not putting wrong ideas.. i am just telling her to keep the marriage.. wat the hack.. ok me out of here.. u guys discuss this , i dont know anything
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Sharaabi : Chalo ji, we have common ground somewhere.
Attia, I wasn't raised away from DESI FAMILY. I was raised away from DESIS in general.
And family who turns against their own family member is not great family to begin with. Anyone in AjnabiLarki's family who turns against her in this time of need, is not really worth talking to in the first place.
If you can't hear what people are saying about you, it wont affect you. As long as you knwo the truth, and the people that matter to you know the truth (i.e. kids/parents/siblings)
Once you build that confidence in yourself, it doesn't matter much what other people say. People talk crap all the time - its nothing new in the desi community. So why make it a potential variable in your own problems?
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Nothing will happen to her son!
Her son will be told what happened to her, and her son is going to hate these two men - that's all. I'm sure this woman can raise a really strong man - one that does not treat other ladies like crap, the way his mother was treated.
Look at the bright side of things. I know, its not a desi habit, but still.
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Attia ur the typical desi here.... ur in ur 20s stop acting like a 12 year old whos never lived outside her pind. If her parents are going to turn against her well.... that's pretty awful, perhaps worse than what the guy(s) did. The best thing she can do is raise her son the best way she can, OUT OF THE COMMUNITY. This way, he wont have the influence of garbage and she can raise him to be a mature, caring young man... a rarity among desis dont u think?
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He's a coward for backin out.. closing your eyes to obtacles in your path doesnt make them disappear into thin air or smaller than they actually are. he should have known he cant go against his family.. n he did.. it jsut hit him after it was too late.. What is the guarantee that if she makse him accept his responisbilty involovin her father/brother or his parents, he still wont back out of the marriage or worse treat her like crap n have his family who refuses to accept her treat her worse. Marriage is not a joke but neither is living with a spineless fook who will make her life a living nightmare. Do get people involoved n dont take ay form of any blame/pressure from anyone (his sid, ur side) on u n judge for yourself if hes worth spending uur whole life with n if not thank ur lucky stars u end up avoiding a huge mistake in ur life.
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You know what the sick part is - he took her out after telling he wants to divorce her, she claims they had a good time, and then he sat and talked with again about the divorce...actually not even talking about it, but just letting her know that he's going to divorce her...
So he takes her out - has a good time with her - raises her hopes - and then hits her again with the "i want a divorce"????
The guy has no sense of empathy.
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Oh and the other reason why I say to get a lawyer involved, is because divorces usually are mediated by lawyers. She needs to know what legal rights she has an American woman.
So PLEASE get a lawyer involved. Don't think you're being a bad muslim or a bad pakistani girl by doing so.
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ok teek hay.. ajnabi larki jee. u should get a lawyer.. u have the right over ur husband.. if he doesnt care about ur family and u then why should u care about his family and him.. why didnt he think that when he was marrying u?
After marriage husband is the one who takes care of the family.. so why didnt he do tat… tell him all these stuff. dont be a coward.. be a brave lady and face the world .. tell them the truth.. and please tell everything to ur parents… in such a hard time no one else but ur parents can help u.. may be they will show u a good or right way.. Just talk to ur parents and get a lawyer as everyone else said
inshallah Allah will be with u and inshallah u will get justice 
..
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I am scared to hire a Lawey because he told me he will make my life hell if I went that far. He told me that he would pay for all the paperwork all I needed to do was sign it. He is saying that he wants to end this on good terms and maybe we can still see each other after words-I dont understand. It feels like its a game to him. How can someone love you and treat you like this. I feel like he was someone trying to get revenge on me or something. Like he married me and used me and only after a couple of days wants to leave and pretend like nothing he did was wrong. I have begged him to talk to a Imam with me and he said that he doesnt need to. He is saying that the Imam cant say anything to change his mind. I told him that if he thinks he is right in the way he is doing things then he has nothing to worry about because then the imam will agree. He will not listen. I cant even belive that he tried to use a lame excuse that he had talked to someone and they said that I did black majoc on him and thats why he feels like its important that he leave me. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? I dont even know about that stuff. I am so hurt that he is making up all these excuses for his own choices that he has made. He is hurting so meny people in the process. My son has been asking for him-What do I telll him? He has messes with everyones emotions why doesnt he understand how much he is hurting us? I feel like he is being so selffish-HE wants to make things easy for him. He thinks he did it the wrong way and he wants to just fix things. He wants things to be easy for HIM. I dont know if he thinks that his parents will respect him more but honestly I dont think anyone will have respect for him the way he keeps jumping back and forth. How can someone respect a person that cant make a decision and stick with it?