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he’ll never marry u if his family doesnt like u, esp. his mom. the guy has no back bone like most men 
take a deep breath, cool down, and think about this. take as many days as u want, and ask him again what he wants to do. if hes set on doing this, then i would say leave him, and get an apartment. do what ur heart feels is right, and Allah is always with u.
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What a @##$$%%^&*%$#@!!!! Don't go down without putting up a fight, this moron thinks marriage is a joke and has treated you like crap!! speak to the aalim who performed your nikkah. Get everyone involved - do not suffer alone!!
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i think if she tells her parents right now, they're only gonna get mad and give her thanay..thats what mine would do. let her make her decision on her own, b/c she got married to him on her own
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Divorce is not the answer. People avoid confronting difficult situations and obviously he wants out. Don't give in just yet. Involve your parents before it is too late. Your parents should visit his family and talk this out. If they are articulate about the situation then you have a 'chance'.
There are a lot of lessons to be learned from your ordeal but I won't get into it. I hope you feel better.
p.s. How old is he?
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ajnabi, this thread is a very sad read. i have no idea how anything like this could be salvaged, but could you try and meet him, get him to meet you once atleast so you can hammer things out? its very easy to talk about divorce over the phone, perhaps a face to face talk would be better? i cant believe he would be able to say that to you with a straight face after all this..
and no, i dont think you're to blame, neither should you blame yourself too much. we all get into relationships based on trust, and part of that trust does mean leaving yourself vulnerable to situations such as yours. furthermore its your personal and private matter, you do no have to tell ANYONE if you dont feel comfortable telling them about it, and do not trust them enough to not believe that you're innocent in this.
try to see if you can get him to relent, contact is the key to this. if you keep meeting him the influence of his family will wear off.
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What kind of education/professional experience do you have?
Can you afford to live on your own?
You are ONLY 24 !!! Please do whatever you think is right but don't rush... take the foot off the pedal BUT keep engaged with your 'nikahfied husband' How long have you two been in nikah?
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^ a few days by the sound of it.
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ALarki, I am quite saddened by this situation. I agree with Fayz. Divorce should be the last solution. Do NOT give up without a fight. Marriage is not a joke. Confront him, Yes it is easier to say that he wants out but he has been disillusioned because of his family. But as soon as you two got nikahofied, you became part of his family. Whatever the consequences are, he should face them and you should not be the only one to do so.
Our prayers are with you.
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I agree with Saby and Fayz. Someone here said that let him loose because he doesn't love you...well screw that notion. Marriage is not a joke. Not all couples stay in love for eternity, but the marriage sure does...even in non-desis. You two are in nikah and you are each other's responsibilty. How dare he thinks he can easily walk out.
I think you should involve your parents, or some strong MALE in your family and have him confront this guy. This should be your plan of action:
1- Get the hubby to agree to give marriage a chance
2- Move into an apartment ASAP
3- Get a US court marriage certificate...shouldn't take you more than an hour!
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like funguy and fayz said, divorce shud be the last resort. marriage is a not a game! i say show up at his house with ur son and that sign nikkah nama. bring ur parents along too. he shudnt be getting off so easily. he needs to know how serious the situation is.
p.s: get ur nikkah registered ASAP first of all.
i hope things work out for u.
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It seems the guy is too afraid of commitment. He wants a girlfriend he can play around with but doesn't want to take on the responsibility of a husband. In other words hes immature and not man enough to live independently, but hes conveniently gotten you trapped into a nikkah leaving a woman embarassed and unhappy. What an asshole.
What to do? You say you love him so if he says he's stressed give him time and space to rethink and evaluate what has happened. Sometimes people can become overwhelmed by the added responsibilities and change marriage brings. However this may also give his family lag time over you in brainwashing him further into leaving you so its a quid pro situation.
I would go by funguy's advice and if it doesn't work out its best to do your utter best to confont and shame him and his family for what they have done to a muslimah. He needs to given a STERN telling off for what he has done. Otherwise he'll do it again.
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He went out with me and my cousins and he acted like everything was ok. I thought maybe if i dont talk about it it would be ok. but last night he asked me to come out again-alone. I agreed because he is my husband and I deperatley want this to work out. We went out and had a good time. Then he brought it up again and told me that we need to sit down and dicuss how we can end things. I was speechless-what do I say? I told him that maybe we should think about it-this is a big deal. He said that there was nothing to think about because he has made up his mind. I told him to let me talk to his parents and he said that If I did that then they would hurt me and thinsg would be worse for both of us. I told him that his parents need to be there and they needed to know what was going on and he said NO! He told me that he did it with out them so they dont need to be there and it was his job to take care of this with out them. I dont know how someone you feel like you know so well can chaneg this much. He is telling me he will not get remarried and he wants to move far away-I dont understand. I told him that if he is going to leave his family anyways I can wait and I will go with him when he gets a job transfer. He said no. He is telling me that it is for the best that we end this now because the longer we wait the worse it will get. I dont know what is going on in his house why he is doing this to me. I keep telling myself that maybe if I move out I can pretend like nothing is wrong and tell my parents he is on a business trip. Then I think -what if they find out? Then I think that maybe before I move I should let them know and it wont be as bad because I have not lived with him yet. I know everyone one is going to talk. His family wont have to deal with it because they have kept it a secret. HE wont have to deal with it. I feel like it is only me that loses in the end. I will have to hear the thanai-my parents will have to deal with it. My freinds and family everyone knows. I feel so stupid. I thought that someone loves you that is all you need to keep a relationship together but now I know it is not true. I wonder if this is how all Desi guys are. I have thought about it and I realise now that I can not trust anyone anymore. I have to start caring for myself and doing for myeself. I think it will be very hard for me to get pass this. I really wish that there was a maricle that Allah could put some sense into him. I wish that he would wake up before its too late and realise what he is doing. I am so scared of what the furture hold for my son and I. Everything that I was so sure about is gone-Everything I new-and loved-I am lost. I feel like I have nobody as If I am alone form this point on. It is so hard for me to deal with. I have shared some of this with my mom and she cant stop crying. She has not slept the last couple of nights. How will I face my dad how can I tell him. I dont know what to do.
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Ajnabi Larki: First thing you have to understand and have yaqeen in is the fact that you are married to this man and you have rights. Do you realize you can take him to court and get alimony from him? Can you speak to a lawyer about this?
You are acting as if your relationship with him has been one of sin (i.e. an affair), and it hasn't been. He is your husband, and you guys have signed a nikkahnama. Before you try to get him to realize this, you have to realize this.
So, stop feeling bad about it - you did NOTHING wrong. In fact, you had a nikkah done and that's awesome - your relationship with him is LEGAL.
Now, you HAVE TO tell your father. Your mother is not enough - you must get everyone in your family involved. And you must go to their home and demand to speak with them. And at this point, I would get a lawyer involved. At least get him to pay you alimony. He'll think twice before pulling this stunt again.
There is no reason why he should not stay married to you and support you and your child. There's no reason for you not to be a family. If you feel that his family is getting in the way, then the best thing is to get your family involved, and get a lawyer involved, so that there's no hanky panky.
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^ dont u think that way .. her hubby is going to hate her :(
cause he doesnt want his family to know and now if she takes a lawyer .. he is really going to get pissed off and he is going to make it harder for her to live.. dont u think so?
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^ no actually, a lawyer might get him to straighten out.
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who cares what the guy wants? the piece of shiit alreadythinks pretty low of her for going back on his promise…its better for his stupid family to find out as well, trashy ppl can c firsthand what garbage they raised 
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Right, people will not straighten out their behavior unless they see that part of the ill consequences of their reaction is harm to themselves.
I say get a lawyer involved and raise a stink in the community. If it was an affair, people would be against ajnabilarki in a heart beat.
But if she waves her nikkahnama, then its the guy's family that is going to be facing some serious ridicule.
And if anything, it will get people to stop lying to each other. I bet you this boy has not told his family that he's married to her.
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He doesnt want you. You cant force him to be with you. End of story.
Get out of it and live your life rather then running after someone who doesnt wanto be with you.
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sara dear jazbat may akar koi decision nahi layna chayay.. keep in mind she doesnt wanna leave him and she loves him..
and also that it is her second marriage, she has a son.. wat do u think ppl will think about her if she break up second time as well..
abay sara larko ko kuch nahi hota.. sara blame poor larki par atee hay..
ppl will blame her that u did nikkah without telling ur parents… sab us baychari per ungli utayay gay.. Now please dont say that who cares.. cause if u wanna live in this world then u have to care for others as well 