Re: Help Me (cont'd from HF)
when som1 is hitting u ... y dont u use ur hands too ... n find somthg heavy to hit them back ... dont let them do ths againn ... if u wont resist thn they wil mak ur life hell.... sure u hav to find some solutionn ... beter talk to ur husb n find som other place even tht can b flat where u can live in peace with ur husb ...
My inlaws are meo rajput and un mai riwaj hai k bahu k sath bura salok karty hain second ye keh woh chahty hain k mai sary gar ka kam karo or un ko ok g aur acha g k ilawa aik lafz na kaho woh chaey kuch b kahain mai sah jaon jabkeh mai kehti hon k sub mil k kam karain mery huby kis sub sisters bhe or mai apni self respect k sath jena chati hon
right now i m at my dads home feeling upset but i tol
The thing stopping my husband is that he is afraid of his father n dont want to listen that he leave his house because and for his wife i used some worst words before in a post about my inlaws because u cant imagine the feeling of me as they are insulting me and spoiling my self respect , giving me mental stress from first 3 months of my married life its my 1st day at dads home n im thinking shoul
Re: Help Me (cont'd from HF)
why dont you defend yourself when they hit you? im glad you are at ure dads house right now! what does ure dad say about all this?
Should i go back to my susral? As my husband is requesting to come back n wait till 2,3 months more..
Should i stay here till 10-12 days for relax or making a decission
should i stay here till my husband find any solution
Dad ko shuru sy abtak kuch nae bataya wo bimar rahty hain or ye soch k buhat khush hain k unki beti ny apni choise sy buhat ache jaga shadi ki hai
Re: Help Me (cont'd from HF)
^ I understand lekin unko ye jaan ke aur bhi dukh hoga ke tumne itni zillat sahi aur kuch nahin kiya.
He is happy because he THINKS YOU ARE HAPPY. It would crush him to find out you were treated so brutally by your inlaws AND YOU DID NOTHING TO GET OUT OF IT. Shaadi majboori ka naam nahin hai...khushi ke liye ki jaati hai.
Stay at your father's place for a few days, ask your husband to come see you there and talk it out with him. Tell him you love him but its getting harder to preserve that love because of his family and financial issues. YES, people will talk and say he left his home because of his wife...but they will talk ONLY for a month or two...no more. Logon ki apni pareshaniyan hoti hein...koi bhi tumhare ghar mein jhankne ke liye 24/7 bahir nahin khara rahega.
Unse kaho: apne MUJHSE shaadi ki hai, parosiyon se nahin...nibhani MUJHSE hai apko...kisi aur se nahin. Apki behnein apke bachey aur ghar chalayenge ya apki bivi? Ask him who is going to be the one raising his kids, managing his home, taking care of him for the rest of his life? If his mother and sisters have agreed to take on that responsibility, then I guess they have every right to push him around the way they are. If they havent, they need to butt out.
Rida, Im going to be honest with you: if you dont fix these problems NOW...be prepared to put up with them for the rest of your life. Insan ki adat agar shuru mein theek hojaye to sahi hai...baad mein usko badalna bohot mushkil hota hai.
Apne aap ko mazboot banao...koi kuch kehta hai to kehne do. Kehne se kya hona hai? Agar koi haat uthaye to tum ghar jao aur apne abbu ko batao. YOU NEED TO TELL YOUR PARENTS/ELDERS!
I have a simple theory in life: Unless you pay my bills...you will not tell me how to live my life.
Re: Help Me (cont'd from HF)
hi rida
seems like u r giving so much more to this relationship than ur recieving.
u r ready to suffer so much just to be with this man
trust me no man is wirth all that , tell ur husband to either
move u away frm those ppl or
aleast stand up for u
otherwise id say ur just wasting ur life n probably u r ur own enemy u dont need abusive inlaws for that
reach some decision while ur still young
My inlaws are meo rajput and un mai riwaj hai k bahu k sath bura salok karty hain second ye keh woh chahty hain k mai sary gar ka kam karo or un ko ok g aur acha g k ilawa aik lafz na kaho woh chaey kuch b kahain mai sah jaon jabkeh mai kehti hon k sub mil k kam karain mery huby kis sub sisters bhe or mai apni self respect k sath jena chati hon right now i m at my dads home feeling upset but i tol
ye sab pata honay k bawajud you married him! standing ovation!
achi larki ho ... shadi say pehlay kehna chahiye that tumhe k i know what your family is like ... but if u want to marry me, you have to arrange a separate living space ...
but kher ... ab jo ho gya ... i dont think you should go back till your husband gets you a separate place ... tumnay jo itni takleefein sahi hain ... wo bhi chaar din dard seh lay tumhari judai ka ... kuch nahi jata! is tarha he will be more motivated and quicker to find a new place!
moun say keh do pyaar hai pyaar hai, ye to sab ker saktay hain ... it's your chance to practically see how much your husband loves you!
and you have to tell your dad! sab kuch ikatha nahi ... bus ahista ahista aur thora! jitna zaruri hai ... sari dastaan aik dam aansooun k saath mat rakh dena! cuz akhir wo tumsay poochein gay to sahi jab aik aur haftay baad susraal nahi jao gi!!!
Rida, you’re not a Bollywood film heroine jo k apnay suhaag ki khatir koi bhi zehar aur zulm seh sakti hai. 
And most of the audience of GS is not enjoying this rona dhona melodramatic scene…and most of us also have little sympathy and little love for your **PATI DEV **than you do. It’s your husband’s FARZ as a MUSLIM HUSBAND to protect you. And if he’s going to act like a “chooha”…it’s a turn-off.
I apologize if I sound harsh but in my opinion tumhay sakhti ki zaroorat hai. Bajaye yeh k tum chotay chotay chotay details k question poocho** “Kya main susraal k paas wapas chali jaaon?”…“Kya main susraal jaanay se pehlay aik haftay ki chuti lay loon?”… ** “Kya main susraal main 2-3 months guzar kar phir apnay Abu k ghar jaoon?” UFF YEH KIS TARHA K KAMZOR SAWAL HAIN???
Koi aqal ki action to tum lay hi nahi rahi…upar se yeh silly si ideas pooch rahi ho jis se kisi ko faida nahin hoga. Here are some ideas you can TRY:
Father-in-law bemaar hon ya na hon…tumharay husband ko un k saath baat karni chahiye. Kya pata k husband k abbu ko ehsaas ho jaye k un ki family bahut bura salook kar rahi hai tumharay saat. Ho sakta hai k abbu apni family ko dantay? Ho sakta hai k family…aik beemar banday ko khush karne k liye…apni harkaton se baaz aajaye. JAB TAK TUMHARA HUSBAND KHUD KOI STAND NAHIN LAY GA…TAB TAK KUCH PATA HI NAHIN CHALAY GA K KOSHISHON KA KYA RESULT HOGA!
Tum apnay husband ko samjhao k tum apnay FATHER K SAATH RAHO GI kyoon k us ki family tumharay saath zulm kar rahi hai. Agar woh kahay k 2-3 months k liye aa jao…to tum ussay poocho k “In 2-3 months agar woh phir zulm karain, to tum kya stand lo gay?” Apnay husband se kaho, “Action na lenay se…aisay darne se…tum bhi to meray saath zulm kar rahay ho…jo k mujhay is situation main baar baar anay k liye keh rahay ho.” Make him think about his behavior.
Tell your husband that you BOTH need to move to a separate home. And START PLANNING A WAY THAT YOU CAN GET A SEPARATE HOME FOR YOURSELF. AB YEH MAT KEHNA K SEPARATE GHAR LAINA NA-MOOMKIN HAI Apnay husband k saath dimagh larao aur koi sahi mazbooth PLAN banao! Agar husband ki pay kam hai…to tum KHUD bhi job kar sakti ho. Zaroori nahin hai k husband apni family se bahut door aik ghar khareeday…nasdeeq ghar bhi liya jaa sakta hai. Agar husband nahin afford kar sakta…to tum job kar k help bhi kar sakti ho.
Next time…in-laws badtameezi karain…husband se kaho k masjid se Imam/Maulvi ko apnay ghar laaye. Akhir koi na koi action to leni chahiye. Shayad aisa karne se tumhari Saas aur Nand sharminda hon. Shayad unhay dar lagay ga ka community main un ki bahut badnami hogi…aur is dar ki wajha se kya pata woh log sudhar jaayen. Agar imam/maulvi k lecture se koi faida na hua…to husband se kaho police ko ghar bulwaye. Agar husband k daantne se koi faida nahin ho raha…to strong action leni chahiye.
Agar tumhara husband MAZEED KAMZOR HAI…k us main in-laws ko face karnay ki koi himmat nahin hai…aur separate ghar lenay ki bhi koi himmat nahin hai…to tum apnay father k paas hi raho aur father ko samjhao k in-laws tumharay saath kya kar rahain hai. And then have your father talk to your husband’s family.
Khuda k liye koi STRONG planning karo aur STRONG action lo. Kamzor ideas or sawal mat poocho. Aisa karne se tum apna hi time waste kar rahi ho!
*****Also pray regularly to Allah to help you out.
Re: Help Me (cont'd from HF)
I am shocked to hear this disgusting story and the behavior of your in laws. This is the blessed month of Ramadan-let's all make dua for you. I don't know what else to say. Illiterate people never change unfortunately. On the bright side, you husband is with you.
Hi
I am again back to my susral because of my hubby he is saying just wait till his sister whos getting married after EID inshallah
there are 6 members in the house accept me and hubby and no body is talking to me.I wash bartans like a servant day and night even from morning till night and cook food for the family members and now my m inlaw is asking to more to do whole and rest of the work of house because I am the BAHOOOO and I simply said to her I will never do the whole work i just do bartan and cooking now I am depressed by their worst behaivour I dont have permission to go out of home even should I ignore them?
ONe more thing my susar is a JAALI peer and rest of the family members dont care about what ppl think about them they fight with neighbours and some times with relatives very BRAVELY ..... they dont care about their respect and any molvi...
Re: Help Me (cont'd from HF)
Rida behan,do the cooking and bartans but for the rest of the work ask your hubby for maıd,ıf he do not lısten you than better go to ur fathers place and make urself strong .
Re: Help Me (cont'd from HF)
^ You know how you see adverts in magazines for Peer Baba's who claim to cure every ailment and pareshaani with their magical powers? A Jaali Peer would be a fake peer...pretty much the same thing.
Re: Help Me (cont'd from HF)
^ ok, thanks for the explaination.
Re: Help Me (cont'd from HF)
Rida ... are you for real? I am beginning to doubt ... I am sorry ... but if whatever you're saying is for real (cuz i dont know about the other end ... what have you done that they should behave like this ...) then yes i hope that this holy month followed by your husband's sister's wedding will bring better times for you ..
but i dont feel any sympathy for people who believe in "andha ishq" .... mein tumhari jagha hoti to kabhi aisay banday say shadi na kerti jis ki family aisi ho ... pakistan mein waisay bhi you dont marry the man, your marry the entire family!!!!
i left the guy i was with immediately jab mujhay pata chala k uss ki family kis qadr backward aur conservative hai ... uskay pyar ka meinay achar dalna tha?
magr ab mazeed mujh se tumhari weakness bardasht nahi ki ja rahi .. it's making me feel angry at YOU ...
ya to ab kuch ker lo ... ya beth k ro lo ...
i cant stand weak people ...
all we can do here is pray for you, and hopefully generate some kickass action oriented thinking in you!
Re: Help Me (cont'd from HF)
I think she just wants to vent...thats it.