Mahnoor I think it all depends on the couple involved.Some people want to have kids right away- while others wish to wait.Personally... I want to wait a few years after marriage to have kids.I dont think I want to have them the first, second or even third year after the marriage.
CB its always wise to make sure that couples are financially stable before starting a family, I agree. My elder bro was born two years after my parents were married.Two years later I came along, and three years after that it was my younger bro. That time, only my dad was working.However they said they did just fine.
Now moms working too, and yes they both helped a lot with our educations. But I dont think I would wait to have two cars and a 5 bedroom place before I had kids. One car and a four bedroom house will do.:p My dad had a great job, so he bought the house right after my parents were married.As for me I dont know.
I suppose the biggest issue would be to make sure you're settled down.Then I think I would want to spend some time with my hubby before the kids come along.However you never know.Things might turn out completely different than from what I imagine.
I actually kind of agree with Chandbeti. I have big dreams too and I am working towards them. InshaAllah one day I'll get where I want. I don't want to have kids while my financial status is still shaky because I want to be able to provide them with the best. What's wrong with achieving your goals before you want to have kids? I don't want to have kids when I haven't achieved what I've wanted. And if God forbid I can't achieve my goals after i have my kids, I don't want to have any feelings of regret.
Anyway, it's not like my bilogical clock is ticking away like mad :P
humsa, thanks girly, else these uncles and aunties were making it hard for me here, I was actually gonna abandon my plans and get married right away and give a good news like within a month of getting married. :p
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*Originally posted by Chandbeti: *
humsa, thanks girly, else these uncles and aunties were making it hard for me here, I was actually gonna abandon my plans and get married right away and give a good news like within a month of getting married. :p
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I have enough money saved up for an apartment and one kid.:pExcept Im planning on getting my own car.So that I dont have to share with my annoying bro.:o
I haven’t even graduated yet!! Do people start saving for a house before they graduate? And believe me, if I aim low like most people here, even then I will do it before those 25 years.
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*Originally posted by Faisal: *
Waisay, I kinda agree with you gals. Unstable people generally make bad parents.
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if you meant financially then yes, it is a action reaction thing... if a person doesn't have enough to make the ends meet then that will translate into a lot of other issues which will have direct impact on the kids.... but this whole bit of I want to provide the best for my kids by giving them a house, boat, cars and stuff is childish thinking in my opinion.. lack of experience in this arena... kids don't care about any of this especially at the younger age... kids are what you make them... but if that pleases you giving them all that, then OK do it... basically you are satisfying your needs not theirs... you are also missing the golden time that you could have spent with your kids while you were still young... choice is yours do you want to spend your youth with your kids or working "hard" and "smart" .. somewhere in there, there is a balance...
Hey hey now. Who's talking about giving them a boat or sending them off to a prep school? I just want to be stable financially. Maybe what's best for me isn't the same for everyone else. The best in my opinion is being able to care for them with peace of mind and not having any regrets. I know this woman who turned 30 recently and has the most adorable twin girls (around 3ish). And she was telling me recently that she wished she had taken up the phd scholarship she was offered before she had gotten married. See, I don't want to end up feeling like that.
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*Originally posted by Hum Sa Ho To Samne Aaye: *
And she was telling me recently that she wished she had taken up the phd scholarship she was offered before she had gotten married.
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These are all moving targets. If you are the sort of person who carry regrets for life, then doing PhD, travelling the world and becoming CEO of General Electric won't still cut it. You will still have one other regret in life to lament.
Anyway, this is all public service.