Re: Re: Having Kids?
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Seedha Saada: *
aurat aurat ko jeene naheen detee....*hamare zehen mein aisee baatein naheen hoteen...see men are maturer when it comes to this thing * :-p
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oh pls, lets not start that admi aurat thing. I know how mature you guys are..
palleee naa teella tai kurdeeeyy mela mela (hope you know what this means seedha saadha)
Now it all makes sense. Dream on :k:
NO, not really but try to keep it real.
I really worked my ass off and all I got is a flat in the city, a big house, even a new car is only a dream for me right now. But this doesnt make me stop me from going step by step further to reach my aims.
As for having all this before having kids is all good, its your choice, but its not possible to give the kids everything they need/want.
My ideas is to give the kids a good basic school/college education, after that they are responsible for their own lives. I think I am off to my retirment, ahh! I dont even have kids yet 
Re: Re: Re: Having Kids?
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by mahnoor@lahore: *
palleee naa teella tai kurdeeeyy mela mela (hope you know what this means seedha saadha)
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Naheen I didnt understand what this means. I have understood the essence of your thread and gave u my two cents :) I bet this tendency is only feminine...they are too quick and cant wait to know if the couple is fertile! Damn these gossipers and start living your life.
SaadiaB: how old are you ? U must be really young, if you can't afford a car yet. I am thinking of having kids like when I am 28 or 29. So I think my goals aren't unreal. I have seen people achieve this. With me and my husband both working, I think it is possible. Why is everyone haww haaiing ? A house ain't that big a deal, or is it? People usually have this stuff by the time they reach their late 20s, don't they?
exactly, after college, they are not getting even a single cent from me, no matter what. Same like I have decided to do. But till then, I wanna make it a smooth ride for them.
I lied, actually we live on the streets, sure gets problematic when it rains like right now. 
CB, I didnt say that I cant afford a car, I meant a "new" car. Well tell me one person who can afford all this and is still living a relaxed life. I dont think that its all so easy to achieve all this, if you are starting from the every beginning, I too have seen people with big houses, but then they either inherited it or were helped by their parents. As house, if you mean to live near in or near a major city is not so inexpensive as you might think or if you rather live out of the civilizations then of course if affortable.
saadiaB: By a house I did not mean a mansion. And there you go, I don't plan on living a relaxed life. You can't wish for the best of everything. I don't plan on relaxing. And assuming a person has a job of say 90K a year, and after 7-8years of job and all the promotions and stuff, can't the person come up with teh down payment for a house and 2 cars? And not to forget that the spouse will have his/her share of savings to add too.
^ well then in USA you must all earn a lot more than us in the EU.
80 K wow
I changed it to 90 K. In a big city that ain't much I tell ya. :D
There is more to life than a big house, sports cars, pools and huge backyards.
shove it Ira :p
Chandbeti - there is nothing wrong in setting a personal goal or milestones... I just found it odd to make house and car a pre-req for having kids ... but again if someone wants to do that I guess that is OK, afterall they are your kids and you have every right to give them what you like...
But not everyone is in your position to provide a house for their kids, may be they can just afford to live in a small apartment, does that mean they shouldn't have kids? Owning a house might be easy in certain parts of the world for majority it is still a dream...
Nice thread...a very interesting topic indeed. I guess having kids is something everyone eventually has to face but I firmly believe that kids should be born purely out of love and should NEVER be considered a mistake or a result of an action that is a regret. Personally, I believe its important to wait a few years (ideally 2 or 3) before one should take the big plunge. Marriage itself is a big responsibility that one must get adjusted to and if you rush into having kids then it can definitely take time away from the spouse.
I waited four years but I am happy that I did, because I feel now I am at an age where I fully accept the responsibilty of a child. Had I had a child earlier, I am sure I would wish I had waited longer. Kids need time, love and patience and a parent can only provide that when they themselves are fully ready for the responsibility.
Adding to what ChaChoo is saying... owning a house is a good ambition but it also depends on where you live. If you live in Alabama you can buy a house for 150-200k and can start a family. Move to Northern California where a 40-yr old single family home with 3 bedroom in a passable school district will cost you about 600k, and your priorities will become different. So, its kinda moving target. :)
Plus, don't "try to work your butt off".. work smarter, not harder :p
CB, why arent you at the gym, working your size 0 butt off ? :p
Back to the topic, mahnoor, I am not sure why aunties do this. Esp aunties in pak have nothing better to do. People talk no matter what and what your sis did was right: just stayed quiet about it. I think when I am married and some aunty decides to ask me personal questions like this, I shall do waht shikra suggested: tell her to go find her own khushkhabri. :D
BTW how can aunties ask something like this anyway???Unless I am someones best-est friend ever, I cant ask anybody abt their personal life. Wierd!
cost of living is higher but the pay is likewise better too. Where I live right now, a good 4 to 5 bedroom house costs around 300K. Where I plan to live.. NY that is, it may cost like more than a million. So may be I was being a little unrealistic, but still having a house before a kid is always a good idea.
And hell yeah, I will work smarter and harder, afterall I am planning on having my own line of clothing 
Pay is better if you are smart. It won't automatically be better if you are just "trying to work your butt off". Check Salaray.com for salary comparisons. Suffice is to say the average salary in the Bay Area won't get you a house at median price.
Oh definitely! Having a maid, an au-pair, a nanny, a chef, a butler and a cheuffeur-driven car is great idea as well, but none of them is a pre-req for having a baby. But you are making progress. :k: Pretty soon you will get there all the way and say “oh well, whatever, lets have a baby anyway!”
my plans are quite different than having an average job. So maybe my aim suits my plan. Well I am too young and naive to be even thinking about children right now. But I know if my plans follow through, I can achieve what I want. 