Re: Having Kids?
What better way to get to know someone, than by making kids 
I think most feel that is the next logical step, and I dont think many use birth control in Pakistan that is, so kids often come right away
Re: Having Kids?
This is not true all the times. This happens in Pakistan as well.
And the thing that ticks me off is that the couple itself doesn’t care about the “khushkhabri” as much as the muhalley waley do. I mean for God sake,come on. It’s their life, let them live the way they want to live. When the “khushkhabri” finally arrive, you all will find out. It’s not something that they can hide.
If any aunty asks me (after I get married) or my wife, I’ll say “aunty, hamari khush khabri ka tou abhi pata nahi, agar aapko khush khabri chahiye tou aap apni khud jaa kar len” or even a nastier answer that I have in mind 
Best advantage of having kids early,
In my case atleast, when my elder son will be 18 I will only be 45, thats something to look forward to.
well, the couple I mentioned . girl is 24, the guy is 27whats the rush?
mahnoor: I know! People just rush into having kids thing too fast. After getting married the couple should atleast wait for 3 or 4 years. Get to know each other. Build a solid financial ground. Don't have a kid unless u own a house and 2 cars. Well, it's my plan atleast.
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*Originally posted by Chandbeti: *
Don't have a kid unless u own a house and 2 cars. Well, it's my plan atleast.
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does it matter a townhouse or single-family house? what kind of cars? luxury or will Camry and Accord suffice?
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*Originally posted by mahnoor@lahore: *
well, the couple I mentioned . girl is 24, the guy is 27whats the rush?
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tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic ....
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*Originally posted by ChaChoo: *
does it matter a townhouse or single-family house? what kind of cars? luxury or will Camry and Accord suffice?
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As far as I am concerned, it's gotta be a single family house with 4 to 5 Bedrooms and 2.5 to 3.5 baths with a large family room, media room, florida room, kitchen and all that blah.
Cars, one has gotta be a sports car and a SUV ( No fookin mini vans for me).
Enough?
Well, I just think you gotta be prepared for the kid.
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*Originally posted by Chandbeti: *
As far as I am concerned, it's gotta be a single family house with 4 to 5 Bedrooms and 2.5 to 3.5 baths with a large family room, media room, florida room, kitchen and all that blah.
Cars, one has gotta be a sports car and a SUV ( No fookin mini vans for me).
Enough?
Well, I just think you gotta be prepared for the kid.
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well if you are going to have a house will that include furnishing for the house as well? how about a finished basement? kids need room to run around and play....
just curious what does a sports car has to do with being prepared for the kid?
It's a psychological thing for me. It's like I have achived enough for me to have a kid now, it's a goal I have set for myself. And yes, furnished house.
I am not saying people have gotta have a sports car or even 2 cars before having a kid. But the house thing does make sense, doesn't it? :p
Chandbeti - it is a personal choice and trust me kids will not object if you were living in an apartment.... we have been suckered into thinking that we have to have these things before we are going to have kids, this is our materialistic mind at its best.... Kids need love and affection and food to eat... if you can afford to provide them with their basic needs you should be OK to have kids. rest is a bonus... if you can afford to have a house great ... it will put you more at ease than your kids...
Point is, financial stability is good to have for a good life but house, cars etc. are all luxury items...
chachoo, I guess financial stability is a relative term here. For you it might mean putting food on the table, for me it means a big house with a big yard and a pool and all that. I would like to provide the best of the best( of what I can afford) to my kids from the time they are born. And believe me, kids will object to certain things( once they are old enough) if you are just content with feeding them.
kids learn what you teach them consciously or unconsciously... so if they are raised to expect big houses with big yards and sports cars then of course they will complain while they are riding a bike and living in an apartment... a distinction should be drawn between what you want and what kids need..
kids aren't as stupid as they are made out to be. You might think u can talk them into belivng finer things in life aren't necessary, but believe me, they can think on their own too, they can see the world around them and know they deserve more than just food and education.
If u talk about needs, man only needs food and a shelter, doesn't mean we should go back to hunting and living in caves and not worry about anything else. I can't settle on just providing the absolute essentials. If I bring them into this world, I will make sure I make it is as good for them as possible
kids aren't as stupid as they are made out to be
exactly my point .. kid's learn from surrondings whether u like it or not but they should be taught to realize what their parents can or cannot afford... kids should be brought up to accept it and understand it... what if you provide them with big house and a big yard and sports cars and SUVs and they come home crying complaining that their freinds at school have yachts and boats and some even have private planes.. what do you do then? go out and work your butt off to get them these items?
No one is saying you have to live with the essentials only, so stop twisting my words.. If you can afford more good for you but don't set house and cars as the criteria for having kids.. for you own personal reasons if you want to set that as a personal goal (and you have indicated that) that is fine but this cannot be applied to everyone..
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*Originally posted by Chandbeti: *
chachoo, I guess financial stability is a relative term here. For you it might mean putting food on the table, for me it means a big house with a big yard and a pool and all that. I would like to provide the best of the best( of what I can afford) to my kids from the time they are born. And believe me, kids will object to certain things( once they are old enough) if you are just content with feeding them.
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pool, sport cars, big yard !!!!!
are you for real, what chachoo says makes sense.
Chandbeti.... seems like you are recouping for some personal experiences to be coming out with such pre-requisites for having kids. 5 bed room house! Unless you plan to have teenager triplets rightaway, this makes no sense. Just keep your priorities straight. Baaqi Allah ki marzi! :)
Re: Having Kids?
aurat aurat ko jeene naheen detee…hamare zehen mein aisee baatein naheen hoteen…see men are maturer when it comes to this thing :-p
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Originally posted by ChaChoo: *
**kids aren't as stupid as they are made out to be*
you provide them with big house and a big yard and sports cars and SUVs and they come home crying complaining that their freinds at school have yachts and boats and some even have private planes.. what do you do then? go out and work your butt off to get them these items?
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well, the house and 2 cars is a criteria for before they are born.. I will make sure I provide them with boats and yatchs too, dunno about the private jet :p But I will try to work my butt off to make it as good for them and me as possible. I know, greed knows no bounds, But a house and a car isn't too much to provide, if we don't do even that for your kids, what are we going to amount for then? Having a house and 2 cars will make me feel like I have settled and ready to nest. Until then it is like you are still unstable and not prepared enough to being another life to this world. And same is the case with marriage for me, I won;t get married until I have secured my future.
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*Originally posted by SaadiaB: *
pool, sport cars, big yard !!!!!
are you for real, what chachoo says makes sense.
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is there something wrong if I set a few personal goals for me before I have kids?
faisal: yeah, right now I am sitting I am surfing GS from a studio apartment which fits our 4 member family and me and bro walk to school while parents sprint to work, we just eat food and I feel deprived and thus I day dream about a big house. :p
People: those are my goals for me. I have got to achieve atleast that much( which isn;t a lot) for my own satisfaction before I have kids. Not like I am aiming for the moon.