Re: Having a 2nd girl
Thanks everyone for your thoughts and feedback.
My mother is going with my wife on thursday for the scheduled ultrasound. I guess she will find out then. I will deal with their negative reactions.
Like I said before, I am happy to get another girl. The part of me that was dissapointed was because like any father I had some dreams of doing "manly things" with my son, like teaching him sports or playing football.... I will just have to do these with my daughters now.
Re: Having a 2nd girl
And trust me you can. My husband plays with trucks with his daughters. They do so much fun stuff together that it's great watching them m'A. Thank God we have healthy children. They are blessings from Allah.
Re: Having a 2nd girl
^ u know u could always do that with ur daughters too. I reckon daughters enjoy playing sports with their dads just as much as a son would :)
i know my lil girl is a tomboy and she LOVVVVES to hang out with her daddy.
Dont worry about things such as sports and whatever, u can do all that with a daughter.. dont worry about what society says...
Re: Having a 2nd girl
and think of it this way... u've just given ur daughter a little sister. Best friends for life... imagine how greatful they would be to you for having one another... :) As Niksik said, just be happy that they'll be healthy Inshallah
Re: Having a 2nd girl
daughters are sometimes more attched to their daddies then mommies , i know i am . so dont worry abt the whole playing and teaching aspect
My wife is expecting and found out yesterday that it is a girl. We already have a girl. The pregnancy was unexpected. I am happy that it is a girl but a part of me and my wife are also a bit dissapointed because we wanted a boy. We are only planning to have two kids and now both will be girls.
My elder brother also has two girls and so it looks like it is the end of the line for our family name.
The problem is that my parents really want to have atleast one male grandkid and are really really hoping that this time it will be a boy. They live with us and I know that when they hear it is a girl, they will act like someone died. Which will make me angry at them for spoiling this joyous event.
So how do I handle the parents?
Tell them it's your "fault" since the male gene determines the sex of the child. And of course, tell them to grow the hell up. And to be quite honest, if you need advice on how to handle this very personal and very self explanatory issue --- then you need some growing up to do as well.
Best thing said in this thread so far! :k:
Re: Having a 2nd girl
My Nana nani had 11 daughters and 4 boys.
Be thankful as that is what I saw them doing.
Let the girl come in your life. It's Allah's will. No one understands Allah's Ramooz. Parents will create problem. Just don't listen to them in this case.
In my experience, when a husband makes her wife happy (supports her) Allah becomes happy and rewards many blessings in disguise to the couple. Those couples who keep under parents influence (for such idiotic thoughts) suffer later in their lives.
Take the example of animals (nature).....everything is made in pairs....Allah makes them happy when they both love each other. If you will keep listening to parents against the "Acts of God", you will suffer later. Believe me.
Who knows if this was a son, he may end up a disaster in your life later but make your parents happy for now.
Yaar who cares? I certainly wouldn't care after I am dead. I wouldn't care whether my name is carried forward or not. Even if it is, 2 or 3 generations down the road, would my SONS' CHILDREN remember me? I doubt it. .
You dont, neither do I, but some people do care... I was just explaining Khawateen what she suggested wouldnt be possible.
Re: Having a 2nd girl
I am expecting a girl and my hubby is so excited about it. everyday he tells me that she will take his side (as girls are attached to fathers) and they will leave me home and will go for long drive or do stuff and wont involve me. he is already thinking of changing his car(as he thinks she will not like his old car) and all the time planning things that he will do for her.
before we knew the gender, he prefered a boy as he is attached to my nephew. now he is planning for the 2nd child and wants a girl again and already decided of her name as well.
Re: Having a 2nd girl
Whatever I wanted to say has already been said about ways to approach your parents...there's good advice.
I am one of 2 daughters and NEVER have I felt from parents, family, or community that "it's a shame they don't have a son". I am extremely close with my father and he has always taught and raised my sister and myself to be strong and independent. Grew up playing/watching sports, knowing about cars..... and then all the girly stuff like shopping and dressing up :)
Oh yes, congrats and may Allah bless your family with a healthy baby girl!
SomeUser, you never know…this little girl may be exactly what you need in life. My sister has a baby girl and that tiny tot is the apple of her father’s eye. Not only that, she brought SO much ronak into our lives!!! Mashallah! I cant tell you how much we adore our precious niece. This girl isnt even two yet and she already has a stash of purses, shoes, dresses, etc…all from her khala! :halo: We needed her in our lives so badly but didnt even know it until she was here. She is sooo happy, sweet, playful and just adores my parents Mashallah.
We dont always know what is best for us and not everything we want is right. Also, Ill tell you something from personal experience. In this day and age, it makes no difference if you have a boy or girl. Vo din gaye jab sirf betay kamake maa aur baap ko khilatey the. Nowadays girls support, work and educate just as much as men if not more. In fact, I believe the last time I checked the number of women holding advanced degrees was higher than men in the US. 
Dont worry, apki larki kisi larke se kam nahin hogi, Inshallah. Once you see her, you will forget everything else.
Re: Having a 2nd girl
Make sure your daughter never finds out!!
I grew up hearing my dadi say negative stuff cuz we were 3 daughters before my bro was born. It was just horrible. I felt so bad and I am still so angry at my dadi and other elders in the family for saying such bad stuff!!!
I turned out be the first person in the entire family to acheive so many goals that now they shouldnt be saying all that crap!!
Be happy for having another rehmat in your house and enjoy your time with your kids. You can still play football with them and so other man-ly stuff with them.
Wish you and especially your wife all the best:)
Bhai! Allah ka Shukar adaa karein k uss ne ap ko ek bar phir apni rehmat k qabil samjha..apnay waaledein ko b shukar karne ka dars dein.. betiyan rehmat aur betay nemat hein, aur yad rakhein k humein nematon ka hisaab dena parta hae
You dont, neither do I, but some people do care... I was just explaining Khawateen what she suggested wouldnt be possible.
Oh I know you were just trying to explain, and I agree, I've seen people in Pakistan acting this way that we want sons so that our name is carried forward. Too bad I was young when I moved out of Pakistan and nobody actually said that to my face. If someone tells me that now, I am ready to argue with them and pop the same question that I mentioned above. Illiteracy is the main problem of Pakistan, but then we also have some parhey likhey jaahil. :D
Re: Having a 2nd girl
During my second pregnancy, I was the only one who knew I was having a girl. I know my husband wanted a boy so badly (after the first was a girl), but for many reasons I was thrilled I was having a second girl. Just was so concerned she should be born healthy.
When she was born, before I look at her, i looked at hubbys face and yeah he was bit disappointed but then he got over it and loves her to pieces. Now i just cant imagine her a boy...she got this sweet charm and goes around telling us " Be Happy":) Really need to learn a lot from our kids...be happy with what you have I suppose.
This whole carry your name forward thing is so imbedded in our thought process its difficult to overcome even with fairly open minded or modern people.
Re: Having a 2nd girl
This is a very sad post. What if you had to report to your family that you were having a child with down syndrome or some other deformity? A healthy child is all one shoudl hope for its ridiculous that gender is still an issue in 'passing' the line, after its become well know that equal amount of genetic material is provided by the mom and the dad. BTW, how many sons did Prophet Mohammad have? By your family's reason (god forbid) his name would be forgotten. Thinks and be gratefuly for the blessings you have been granted!
Re: Having a 2nd girl
By the way, Im one of four girls myself and I grew up watching wrestling and boxing with my dad almost every night! He liked them so I did too. I knew all of the fighters by name. We would bet on who would win, make sandwiches to watch the fights, etc.
Things will be fine, Inshallah. I would just make sure to take the lead role in creating a welcoming environment for the baby. :)
Re: Having a 2nd girl
first of all Allhamdollilah uski zaat ka jisne apko yeh khushi di hai, coz there r so many ppl in this world who have health wealth everyhthing except for children, imagaine hw they feel n they would b very grateful if they were to b blessed with a child regardless of it being a son or daughter
explain this to ur parents, its usually the dei women who think like this. Has ur mom ever thought that she is also some1's daughter? if she werent born then how would u b here? Kismat vale hothay hain jinke ghar main Allah ki rehmat athi hai. hamare Nabi Kareem SAW ki b tho betiyan thi, have ur parents forgotten this?show ur happiness n excitement instead of disappointment in front of them, maybe they will then understand. Farmaan aulaad honii chahiye n im sure u would rather have Daughters who will grow up n share ur every happiness n sorrow instead of a boy who frankly doesnt care
sit them down n tell them all this and say that u r very grateful for wat u have n watever Allah SWT does is for the best.
i myself am the eldest of 3 girls n 2 boys, but our father loves us girls more than our bros n spends time with us.
like psquared mentioned the wy she grew up i also shared many interests with my father like cricket was our greatest passion we would both get up at 3am just to watch a match. the list of things u can do is endless. i have a son n another bby on the way n my hubby has always wanted a daughter whereas the first time his mother was constantly taunting me with harsh remarks so one day i just said to her 'i dont have a problem b it girl or boy n neither does ur son, if ur sooooo desperate for me to have a boy then i suggest u go tell ur son coz its his sperm that decide the gender' she darent say anything aftr that n now they all pray that i have a healthy bby
bas dua karo k Allah sehat maand bacha de chahe jo b ho
i pray that Allah SWT blesses u n ur wife with all the happiness in the world.Ameen