Re: has my "rukhsati" been done
Can you kindly provide the hadith that says that getting laid is not permitted until the rukhsati or even that a rukhsati is mandated by Islam?
lol...its okay I get what you're saying.
Re: has my "rukhsati" been done
Reading this thread makes it sound like as if the whole purpose of nikkah is to get laid. lol...
Can anyone please provide me with a reference to that hadith "maa baap ko uff taq na kaho" , I swear I heard it somewhere on TV.
Thy Lord hath decreed, that ye worship none save Him, and (that ye show) kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age with thee, say not "Fie" unto them nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word.
chapter 17, verse 23
if you read Arabic of above verse you will see word **uffan
**jazakAllah khair.
Re: has my "rukhsati" been done
This thread is geting into oh so Islamic mode so I can't myself but ask, why there is so much hoo haa and tantrum throwings when it comes to men taking a second wife in their nikkah? Why taking a second wife considered a 'taboo' in our culture? Isn't that a same nikkah that halafies what otherwise is considered haram act? I don't see many people acting like Islamic scholars in that issue...
Its not an attack on anyone (please I mean it), its just my observation about this forum.
Re: has my "rukhsati" been done
This thread is geting into oh so Islamic mode so I can't myself but ask, why there is so much hoo haa when it comes men taking a second wife in their nikkah? Isn't that a same nikkah that halafies what otherwise is considered an haram act?
Why the double standards and hypocrisy?
no marriage is halal until guy and gal are nikkahfied by adult muslim in the presence of two witnesses. then how come this thread could not be islamic.
Re: has my "rukhsati" been done
no marriage is halal until guy and gal are nikkahfied by adult muslim in the presence of two witnesses. then how come this thread could not be islamic.
I meant the replies suggesting Islam must come before culture so I'm just wondering why I don't see replies like these when it comes to Asian men taking second wives. Strange.
Re: has my "rukhsati" been done
no marriage is halal until guy and gal are nikkahfied by adult muslim in the presence of two witnesses. then how come this thread could not be islamic.
So you don't think delaying rukhsati for a couple who were complete strangers before nikkah is a good thing?
Re: has my “rukhsati” been done
good point. you can open another thread. 
Re: has my "rukhsati" been done
So you don't think delaying rukhsati for a couple who were complete strangers before nikkah is a good thing?
No, it is not good thing unless some valid reason like immigration where both could not make possible to join each other.
in case of op, you can check my reply on first page.
Re: has my "rukhsati" been done
This thread is geting into oh so Islamic mode so I can't myself but ask, why there is so much hoo haa and tantrum throwings when it comes to men taking a second wife in their nikkah? Why taking a second wife considered a 'taboo' in our culture? Isn't that a same nikkah that halafies what otherwise is considered haram act? I don't see many people acting like Islamic scholars in that issue...
Its not an attack on anyone (please I mean it), its just my observation about this forum.
^ No one challenges that a second nikkah is not halal. The culture versus religion debate comes from the fact that it's a rare man who actually marries his second wife and treats both wives in a truly Islamic just manner. But I digress since that wasn't the question posed by the OP.
Here's the reality - culture has made some of what is halal, "socially unacceptable" when it shouldn't be and most people pick and choose amongst that to suit their own lifestyle. I'm not standing up as the standard-bearer for living a perfectly Islamic life - I'm not self-delusional - I am a flawed person. But amongst the religion versus culture debate, I personally find the concept of rukhsati to be pointless and hence my stance on it. But hey, to each his own...
Re: has my "rukhsati" been done
Sometimes you have to get Nikkah first so that you can apply the paperwork before the 2 start living together in one place. Or sometimes you are ready for nikkah but not living together.
Its not a big deal if during the nikkah period someone gets pregnant, then in my opinion skip the rukshati and do the valima (before the baby comes) :D
or dont do anything a nikkah is enough in my opinion.
Re: has my "rukhsati" been done
i had my nikkah few months ago, and rukhsati is later this year. I had my nikkah in pakistan. after nikkah my entire family came back to USA but i was in pakistan for few more weeks at my aunty's house. My husband asked my mother if it's ok for him to take me out, my mother said yes. After that we were out pretty much every single day eating out, shopping and just going around places. one of my friends recently raised a point that technically i have already had my rukhsati because my mother and father has allowed my husband to take me out with him without any third person and i have spent time alone with him (even though that time was spend in restaurants and shopping malls, sea side only). it's really not that big issue, so i don't care to ask any alim about this. but what is your opinion on it, has my rukhsati technically been done?
Do not worry much about it . In Islam nikah is he ultimate relationship builder between two na-mahrams , mehndi , mayoon , rukhsati , dholak party are all superficial , cultural addon to this sacred institution we call marriage.
Re: has my "rukhsati" been done
This thread is geting into oh so Islamic mode so I can't myself but ask, why there is so much hoo haa and tantrum throwings when it comes to men taking a second wife in their nikkah? Why taking a second wife considered a 'taboo' in our culture? Isn't that a same nikkah that halafies what otherwise is considered haram act? I don't see many people acting like Islamic scholars in that issue...
Its not an attack on anyone (please I mean it), its just my observation about this forum.
Because more often than not it seems lies are involved, first wives (and first set of kids) are often neglected or not treated as well as they should be, the time + money isn't shared equally etc. Also in our culture the wife is often looking after/staying with the inlaws so for the husband to go off and take a second wife so he can go off and have fun whilst she is caring for his parents is beyond ridiculous.. I've hardly ever heard of a second marriage being done the halal way (usually seems that the husband has been seeing the second wife on the side for a while before marrying her).. In a culture like ours where women do tend to make more sacrifices wouldn't her other half taking another wife feel even more like being stabbed in the back?
(I have no problem with polygyny when done properly, when all parties involved are ok with the situation and all their rights are being fulfilled)
Re: has my "rukhsati" been done
OP- why are you asking us? answer is clear. nikah is marriage.
Re: has my "rukhsati" been done
^ No one challenges that a second nikkah is not halal. The culture versus religion debate comes from the fact that it's a rare man who actually marries his second wife and treats both wives in a truly Islamic just manner. But I digress since that wasn't the question posed by the OP.
Here's the reality - culture has made some of what is halal, "socially unacceptable" when it shouldn't be and most people pick and choose amongst that to suit their own lifestyle. I'm not standing up as the standard-bearer for living a perfectly Islamic life - I'm not self-delusional - I am a flawed person. But amongst the religion versus culture debate, I personally find the concept of rukhsati to be pointless and hence my stance on it. But hey, to each his own...
I agree but I don't see how these grown up individuals should be allowed to pull a victim card and get away with it. I see most of the posts on this forum which are just designed to feed the victim mentality of the posters instead of offering practical solutions, but that's besides the point and this is not what the thread is about. So coming back to my original point, if one is all prepared and looking forward to experience the sexual side of the marriage without any delay, then they should honestly tell their parents, why keep them in dark? Be as blunt as you need to be. I'm sure even Islam says that honesty is the best policy. And to be honest, most parents still have this image of a total satti savtri, all innocent bholi bhali larki for their daughters (and sons too), they wouldn't like to imagine that he/she itching with sexual desires. I would really sympathies with someone and give lectures about how crappy our desi culture and race is when there is evidence that the person has tried their level best to convince their parents that they'd like to do things in proper Islamic fashion because it suits their needs. I mean do we expect our parents to receive revelations telling them that their their son/daughter is itching to get intimate with their new partner so get them a room? I have pretty frank and friendly relationship with my parents, even they wouldn't bother thinking along those lines if I don't drop some serious hints. So the point is, I really buy the idea of being quiet and hoping that things will magically go your way...I follow the good old 'Western' philosophy of either speak up or suck it up! (in real life not on internet forums) lol
PS: this post has nothing to do with the point raised by the OP, I'm just taking on the general theme of the posts made in this thread.
Re: has my "rukhsati" been done
No, it is not good thing unless some valid reason like immigration where both could not make possible to join each other.
in case of op, you can check my reply on first page.
So you are making exceptions ... ok ... there are some more valid reasons too:
a) Nikkah before puberty - It is forbidden in this instance to consumate marriage until either the remaining or both persons become pubescent. Nikkah is allowed with people before puberty.
b) It is a Sunnah
I feel there is some wisdom in delaying rukhsati in the case of wives who are a bit scared of sharing themselves with their husbands ... it is better for them to become in love with them and have sex in an enjoyable way - without fear and so they can be full of passion - it makes the process easier and less painful. Am I right?
Re: has my “rukhsati” been done
hareem/psyah: 
Re: has my "rukhsati" been done
I feel there is some wisdom in delaying rukhsati in the case of wives who are a bit scared of sharing themselves with their husbands ... it is better for them to become in love with them and have sex in an enjoyable way - without fear and so they can be full of passion - it makes the process easier and less painful. Am I right?
But why delay the couple living together - which is what in effect the "rukhsati" is? Why not live together and get to know one another without consummation.
Re: has my "rukhsati" been done
I feel there is some wisdom in delaying rukhsati in the case of wives who are a bit scared of sharing themselves with their husbands ... it is better for them to become in love with them and have sex in an enjoyable way - without fear and so they can be full of passion - it makes the process easier and less painful. Am I right?
Thats old school, maybe my mother and granmother felt like that but can you really apply that logic for today's generation?
Re: has my "rukhsati" been done
But why delay the couple living together - which is what in effect the "rukhsati" is? Why not live together and get to know one another without consummation.
and this is where the whole societal issue of "log kya kahengay" comes in......
regardless of whether the nikah was consummated or not.....once the couple has lived together society will assume that they have also slept together......
Re: has my "rukhsati" been done
This thread is geting into oh so Islamic mode so I can't myself but ask, why there is so much hoo haa and tantrum throwings when it comes to men taking a second wife in their nikkah? Why taking a second wife considered a 'taboo' in our culture? Isn't that a same nikkah that halafies what otherwise is considered haram act? I don't see many people acting like Islamic scholars in that issue...
Its not an attack on anyone (please I mean it), its just my observation about this forum.
are u not muslim?...i mean why do u have so many obbjections with issues that are given islamic value rather then cultural value..
islamically and rightfully once you are nikkahed u can do w.e it is u want....rukhsati is purely cultural and a desi thing....i dont see any arabs doing some sort of rukshati typa event..actually they have a nikkah and valima....the islamic way