Re: has my "rukhsati" been done
umm I don't see what the big deal is if a girl was pregnant before her rukhsati?? She obviously had her nikkah done...so if a couple who is legally married chooses to have one night stands who are we to object?
You are talking as if they have sinned by sneaking around and getting pregnant lol
A nikkah is performed so you don't end up doing something in sin. One of the biggest sins. So, if you have nikkah done so you don't sin, but you still live in the parents house, but essentially sneak behind your parents' backs (I am assuming no parents willingly opens their house to their bahu/damad so they can have a one night stand), then why go through such torture in the first place? Plenty of couples legitimately are living away from their spouses, due to work, due to immigration issues etc. And it's torture. Forget about being intimate. Just not having your life partner around for every single moment is torture. But if you're treating the pre-rukhsati time, as nothing but a time for one-night stands without having any form of responsibility, then you don't deserve to be in such an amazing relationship in the first place. Either curb your desire, or use condoms, or live under one roof.
If due to circumstances such as a job or studies or whatever you can't live with your husband for whatever reason, but you have been living together as husband and wife for a while, then whatever, get pregnany, have twins, adopt cats and dogs and children all you want. But if you're living under the roof of your parents, and your parents are supporting you (ie paying for you), you haven't lived with the husband as husband and wife, then you don't deserve to pretend to be married and then act as if you are living together. There has to be a line somewhere. If you can't wait to do it, then live together. You're halal for each otehr right? Then if you're so ready to shorn off some cultural requirements ie intercourse before living together, then you don't pretend around to follow through on other sentiments of rukhsati and have another party afterwards.
As for your "well put and thought out" argument of the girl living with the parents after delivering, yes it happens, but like I said before, the couple's been living together. The husband is paying the hospital fees, the clothing for the wife and his child, and all other expenses. It's good for the mother as it allows her to unwind and recoup, and if off chance she gets postpartum depression, she has some help and doesn't go and drown her baby. But like I said before, the woman's been living with her husband and he went through the entire pregnancy with her. Sorry but I don't buy your last point of how it's alright to get pregnant like you're getting pregnant in a one night stand and it's equivalent to a young mother living with her parents post-delivery. Oh btw, it doesn't happen in all cases.