Re: HAQ MEHR
i understand that the haq mehr can be any little or large amount. But how much should a girl ask for so that she doesn't cause a conflict or offend the guy and his family? I would think $5000 might raise some eyebrows...?
Re: HAQ MEHR
Yea there are of two types . If you can't pay it at once then pay it in installments . But you DO have to pay it , unless your wife forgive you for it .
Re: HAQ MEHR
TLK: That's correct but from what I have been told and understood, mu'wajjal is not deferred until that time. It is deferred until the wife demands it and the husband is in a position to give it.
So let's say that after a year of marriage the husband has the X amount he agreed as mehr and the wife demands it from him he must give it to her. This can cause friction between a married couple hence why it is preferred that mehr is prompt.
Re: HAQ MEHR
Naman, The ruling that I know of, you cannot ask her to forgive the muwajjal part.
makes sense. So I was wrong all this time thinking that muwajjal part is only due in case of divorce ..
maaray ga’ey 
I hope that niks does not read this part cause if she decided to demand the deferred portion, I am going homeless 
Re: HAQ MEHR
^ Exactly . You can't ASK , but she can do it with her own free will . Which at least i won't recommend of . Just an option .
Re: HAQ MEHR
Don't know the real ruling or remember it, but...the husband if gives more than the total amount of both Mo'ajal and Mow'ajal can be free of his obligation.
So give a good size jewelry and expensive clothes and whatever at the time of marriage..and be done with. Make sure you do not ask her back in case of bad event happen.
Now the dowry amount freely can be forgiven (without husband asking or coercing ) and in case of financial crisis, she can help her husband with her money and forgive the amount freely.
If she does not then husband should pay her back without any grudge or repercussion.
So give a good size jewelry and expensive clothes and whatever at the time of marriage..and be done with. .
it needs to be part of the nikah agreement that jewelry and clothes can be given in place of cash otherwise they cannot replace the actual mehr .. or so I heard
calculating
it needs to be part of the nikah agreement that jewelry and clothes can be given in place of cash otherwise they cannot replace the actual mehr .. or so I heard
OK. But the man can tell this to her and say he will not ask it back ever. Diamond, Gold, Platinum, whatever. She is the sole owner of it.
I mean, in Islam, two adults can marry each other with some witnesses and witnesses have nothing to do with Mehr at all. It is between man and woman and off course Allah to be a prime witness. And the man should never try to cheat her monetarily or otherwise.
Re: HAQ MEHR
Yes off course you are right. If they decided then yes she can accept jewelry instead of cash. But if she is any wiser, she should ask for diamonds, not gold. On gold, she has to pay zakat and cause now she is the owner, she is the obligated party to pay it, not the hubby.
Come to think of it, maybe that is why the deferred option is there in Islam, cause if all the mehr is paid upfront, she becomes the responsible party to pay zakat on that amount every year.
Re: HAQ MEHR
What if she doesn't earn?
Re: HAQ MEHR
earning potential has nothing to do with zakat. if she is sahib-e-nisab (owner of taxable amount) she needs to pay zakat. Off course she can ask hubby to do that but hubby is not the responsible party, she is.
She can sell some of the jewelry and pay zakat with that money.
Re: HAQ MEHR
making notes
Yes off course you are right. If they decided then yes she can accept jewelry instead of cash. But if she is any wiser, she should ask for diamonds, not gold. On gold, she has to pay zakat and cause now she is the owner, she is the obligated party to pay it, not the hubby.
Come to think of it, maybe that is why the deferred option is there in Islam, cause if all the mehr is paid upfront, she becomes the responsible party to pay zakat on that amount every year.
I know what you are saying but there is controversy on if zakat is obligated on jewlary at all. (Please check some hadiths on it)
And I know gold and silver have been separated from other precious items including diamond and stones. It is still safe to pay on it however by some rulings..errr...rather some suggestions.
If man is keeping it or not giving it to her, then, the amount of money which is deferred, he is supposed to pay zakat on it, isn't it? Now if he owes her the amount but does not have that money in possesion for over a year, then he may not have to pay zakat on it. And that is why you think there is wisdome on deferring it.
This wisdome needs to be checked however and I have no answer for it at this moment.
Zakat is on the person who has the money or equivalent money which is more than the set amount, for one year. So if the mehr is set too high, (which it should not be) then what is so wrong for her to pay the zakat on it?
it needs to be part of the nikah agreement that jewelry and clothes can be given in place of cash otherwise they cannot replace the actual mehr .. or so I heard
It's true. I've seen a discussion on Pakistani t.v. where highly educated Aalims have stated that jewellery and clothes are not considered to be as 'mehr' as these are a woman's right. By this I suppose they meant it's part of our culture to give this stuff to the dhulan ... mehr is seperate.
In this discussion, they went as far as saying certain people are aware that it is unacceptable, yet go ahead and put down jewellery as mehr, intentionally, in order to avoid having to provide proper mehr.
THAT BEING SAID, some girls are o.k. with their spouses giving jewellery only. That's just it though ... if the girl is ok with it, you can give whatever you want ... but if you try and be a scrooge and do badmaashi ... God is watching and He will get you. :)
The divorce or death thing comes in the case that the husband has not given the gift during the marriage, it MUST be given at divorce or after death. It is due before any inheritance is divided up.
the question i have is, how many men give the haq mehr when the relationship has come to the point of divorce? whatever the reason for the divorce, it seems to be highly unlikely that the haq mehr will be given at that time, especially since the couple are hostile toward each other.
so is it not better to have the haq mehr given at the time of marriage, so that at least it is guaranteed for the girl to have?
the question i have is, how many men give the haq mehr when the relationship has come to the point of divorce? whatever the reason for the divorce, it seems to be highly unlikely that the haq mehr will be given at that time, especially since the couple are hostile toward each other.
so is it not better to have the haq mehr given at the time of marriage, so that at least it is guaranteed for the girl to have?
The benefit of mehr as proposed;
1- Financial security of woman.
2- Deterrant for man to think twice before divorcing.
3- Some dignity of woman.
All do not work or are practical.
Hence, in these day and age, Mehr as it is and was promoted does not really work. It is a religious act and obligation and should stay like that.
Mehr is misused and abused in some cultures. Especially one can think of Indian Hyderabadi culture. The girls are actually 'sold' on a set price to man in that culture.
Many Arab male cannot marry unless they have required amount to pay to get married.
If anyone has interest, one can watch movies like 'Bazaar' or 'Mandi' , old Indian art movies.
P.S. In cultures, where half of all assets is to be paid at the time of divorce also has many who get away not paying the set amount.
In the end, when people are not honest, nothing works.
I must clarify, Dowry (Jahez) is something woman has to bring with her to man's house in some cultures. Not the same as Mehr.
Guys there is a legal Lekuna. If the Haq Mehar is presented before the court of Law in case of divorce in the western world, I dont think they stand a chance.They will be thrown out.....!
the question i have is, how many men give the haq mehr when the relationship has come to the point of divorce? whatever the reason for the divorce, it seems to be highly unlikely that the haq mehr will be given at that time, especially since the couple are hostile toward each other.
so is it not better to have the haq mehr given at the time of marriage, so that at least it is guaranteed for the girl to have?
You are right. This is why it is preferred that it is prompt.