Re: Hajabi girls going half-naked in ONLY LADIES PARTY...
why do you wear short sleeves sahar?
same reason.
But I don't have some desperate desire to throw parties just so I can show cleavage in public, even around women, or wear anything above the knees around women. I don't do it normally, and it doesn't bother me.
Re: Hajabi girls going half-naked in ONLY LADIES PARTY...
I guess I don't understand this "no judgement" line. Maybe "judgement" isn't the right word. **But we all interpret others based on clothing, body language, as well as speech, etc. You can't tell me that this wouldn't affect/inform your understanding of a person's personality.
**Like I said, they're allowed. But that doesn't mean that it doesn't tell me something more about them.
It would matter if they dressed this way publicly. Although they would have been killed but that's another story. They are doing this in their own homes and they invite those who they feel woulld be comfortable with them being dressed that way. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on ME. So if you have been there once and you didn't like it, don't go there. They are not parading in their skimpy outfits in front of your house.
Re: Hajabi girls going half-naked in ONLY LADIES PARTY...
muzna mentioned the word expectation.
that could be it.
to solve the problem, just dont have any expecations of anyone. so you wont get disappointed.
this stands for anyone. your family, friends and strangers.
Re: Hajabi girls going half-naked in ONLY LADIES PARTY...
But I don't have some desperate desire to throw parties just so I can show cleavage in public, even around women, or wear anything above the knees around women. I don't do it normally, and it doesn't bother me.
This is judging! You can't judge them by what they do in their private parties.
Re: Hajabi girls going half-naked in ONLY LADIES PARTY...
muzna mentioned the word expectation. that could be it.
to solve the problem, just dont have any expecations of anyone. so you wont get disappointed.
this stands for anyone. your family, friends and strangers.
This is so true! I live by that rule...
Re: Hajabi girls going half-naked in ONLY LADIES PARTY...
But I don't have some desperate desire to throw parties just so I can show cleavage in public, even around women, or wear anything above the knees around women. I don't do it normally, and it doesn't bother me.
well that could be from culture like Mehnaz or someone else said.
why do you wear half sleeves in public sahar? because you think you can. well these women think they can too in the privacy of their own homes wiht other women.
Re: Hajabi girls going half-naked in ONLY LADIES PARTY...
^ It's not the half-sleeves that bother me. I hope I've made that clear. I don't expect women who wear hijab to wear it all the time.
It's the other extreme -- clothing that reveals cleavage and goes above the knees etc.
Re: Hajabi girls going half-naked in ONLY LADIES PARTY...
i just used half sleeves as an example for you because you wear half sleeves. if you showed cleavage i woudl use that.
my point is that these women do these things for 2 reasons:
because they can Islamically.
and in their culture its acceptable. (as long it fits into Islamic guidelines)
dont get bothered by it dear. as long as they are not harming you or hurting you, let them live.
i agree, anything above the knees is islamically wrong, but who am i to condemn them? and if they are baring their bellies, i woudn't hate on them, but maybe tell them that its not right Islamically and they shoudl cover up. if they dont, well i did my best, and the rest is up to them. i wouldnt look down on them though.
do you kind of get what im saying? (its been a long day lol)
Re: Hajabi girls going half-naked in ONLY LADIES PARTY…
Have we hit 15 pages yet?
Yayyy we did!
Re: Hajabi girls going half-naked in ONLY LADIES PARTY...
^ It's not the half-sleeves that bother me. I hope I've made that clear. I don't expect women who wear hijab to wear it all the time.
It's the other extreme -- clothing that reveals cleavage and goes above the knees etc.
I guess you area against such extremes or as they say tazaad in ordoo. I guess it must be their culture and/or upbringing that they can go to such extremes, but it does kind of make me think a little. But I wouldn't be shocked as lets face it, we live in a western culture where women will take off their clothes or eat worms or do both for money, and these girls would get that influence by just being in that environment.
Re: Hajabi girls going half-naked in ONLY LADIES PARTY…
woo hoo…we did it…wasn’t too hard…was it??? 
Re: Hajabi girls going half-naked in ONLY LADIES PARTY…
nope wasn’t at alll 
Re: Hajabi girls going half-naked in ONLY LADIES PARTY...
Is it really fair to judge their character and what kind of people they are? I personally don't think so.
The problem is that when we have a modestly dressed up hijabi girl in mind it's hard to imagine her the opposite even if its within closed doors with girls only. Somehow we judge them at a more strict level than the girls who would anyway be the 'going wild' sort.
Re: Hajabi girls going half-naked in ONLY LADIES PARTY...
The problem is that when we have a modestly dressed up hijabi girl in mind it's hard to imagine her the opposite even if its within closed doors with girls only. Somehow we judge them at a more strict level than the girls who would anyway be the 'going wild' sort.
Yea, I get what you are saying...but i think its unfair to form an opinion that the girl is vulgar or a slut.
Re: Hajabi girls going half-naked in ONLY LADIES PARTY…
No I’m not talking about what goes on within a group! I’m talking about mindset of some Hijabis who go to long lengths to talk about modesty, womanhood, choice, rights, Islam, morality, manners when their dress code is pin pointed at, yet on the same token they’re so freaking quick to use the word ‘slut’ for women who aren’t covered from head to toe. If ‘slut’ is their code word for wearing sleeveless and skirts, then they should be the last one moaning when certain derogatory terms are given to their type of dressing and character, because you know this type of “slutty” dressing is the normal dressing code for 90% of your fellow citizens.
I believe its very this whole “sisters” in Hijab but “sluts” if sleeveless mentality gives birth to nutters and incidents like this: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-12137400.
Re: Hajabi girls going half-naked in ONLY LADIES PARTY...
^ I agree, I don't think its fair to think that they're this kind of person because they like to bare a lot of skin in the privacy of their own homes with close friends.
Again I think the point to be made is Sahar is uncomfortable with it because its not normal to her. Whereas for others showing skin is not a big deal in the right situation. Personally growing up with Arab friends but being from a Pakistani family I never got what the big deal was. I would have loved to wear more revealing clothes (ps in my family even wearing half sleeves is a big issue) because I think they looked nice but obviously my mum was shocked at the concept (kind of like you Sahar)- so I think its just a mindset thing. There was absolutely nothing wrong with the character of my friends though; they were as good muslims as they could be; well educated, dedicated, prayed 5 times a day, gave money to charity, humble, modest in their personalities, completely segregated from boys until they pretty much got married and just good people in general. They spent their lives covered in abayas and hijabs and whenever they got the opportunity to, they liked to get dressed up and look pretty around other women. Again what revealing is is relative, for some its showing leg, like I said in my family showing pretty much any skin is considered revealing. So who's interpretation of revealing shouldd we follow? In my family wearing sleeveless is considered to be a huge no no. Does that mean they should judge about 50% of the guppans here because their wearing sleeveless is an indication of their character? I don't think thats true. I think its just an indication of them having a different comfort level than me or my family for whatever reason.
When I watch TV and see the Emmy's or Oscars or whatever and all these celebrities are wearing these beautiful gowns which can show cleavage or leg or skin, I think they look beautiful. And I like to emulate that look- now would I do it in front of men, no because in my mind thats being provocative, but I see no issue with doing it in a controlled setting with female friends. I'm not sure what your exact definition of revealing is but I think sleeless, strapless, backless, short dresses/skirts all look really nice if worn well; to me it looks sexy and beautiful. I don't consider it to be revealing at all amongst my friends.
Now why I consider those kinds of dresses or clothes beautiful or sexy is a whole different issue, to do with the environment one grows up in, their influences, the media etc. I would hope though that if I showed up to a party tomorrow wearing a short dress that I thought looked flattering and beautiful on me people wouldn't start judging my character and think poorly of me because of it and think they were better than me just because I had a different mindset as to what revealing is.
When I got married and my mum found out that my in-laws were ok with wearing sleeveless, she was surprised but certainly she didn't think to herself this says something about these people's character maybe I shouldn't marry my daughter into their family. She just figured hey they have a different comfort level regarding how they dress. By the way my in laws in a lot of ways are way more religious than my family, they pray, read quran for hours, do all these extra fasts, their daughters had to be home by before maghreb every night while I was out till like 1 am in my teen years. Who am I to say that I am the better person because I don't wear sleeveless but I don't pray 5 times a day, while they do and they do wear sleeveless?
Re: Hajabi girls going half-naked in ONLY LADIES PARTY...
i dont know which hijabis you are referring to, but like sara516 said, with people i know its amongst themselves. and its used as jokingly. its not meant to insult anyone or downgrade anyone. close friends can tease one another cant they? or is everythign always so cold and rigid?
Re: Hajabi girls going half-naked in ONLY LADIES PARTY...
P.S this whole use of the word 'slut' is a whole different thread. These days its pretty common, heck I'll say it to a good friend if she just even talks about a guy. Whether the desensitization of the word is good or bad can be another topic of discussion. But keep in mind that there were many words which were absolutely taboo before and are more common place now. b**h for example used to be highly offensive and now it is very commonly used and within close friends I think very people find it as offensive. The same with b*st*rd and lot of other words. I think to some extent the intention behind the word counts too, if I called a b*st*rd a b*st*rd specifically to hurt his feelings that would be a lot worse than if I was just saying the word because its what everyone says. Again do I agree to increasing usage of these words in our common language, no but hey, thats coming from a person who rarely swears and doesn't even like the word s*it. But I understand that its out there and thats just how people speak these days.
Re: Hajabi girls going half-naked in ONLY LADIES PARTY...
^ now watch out for the but-that-is-so-unclassy gang to come up here.
Re: Hajabi girls going half-naked in ONLY LADIES PARTY...
No when jokes found on offensive lines become mentality and attitude, you know you have a problem. In my country we certainly have a problem in certain Muslim fractions where men are asked to look at Hijabis as sisters, but reserve the view of 'slut' for everyone else. Why because according to some Muslim wearing sleavless and skirt is slutty when they're bloody living in countries where its as normal and common as as jam on toast. Is that how they see every non Hijabi woman on the street? Then they moan why the Westerners don't see Muslims as one of them...
Is anyone here raising a boy?