Guys

[badabing]

Re: Guys

As far as my past goes, no one in my family or Pakistani friends no about it. I never **** where I eat so to speak. From the outside in, I’m a good boy, although my association to Paki. criminality and my past inclinations to start fights (during school college) may be an issue for some parents. We’ll see I suppose - surely take me on who I am today rather who I once was?

[aqua70]

Re: Guys

^Easier said than done so yea, we’ll see.

[Sehrysh]

Re: Guys

@badabing

As far as my past goes, no one in my family or Pakistani friends no about it. I never **** where I eat so to speak. From the outside in, I’m a good boy, although my association to Paki. criminality and my past inclinations to start fights (during school college) may be an issue for some parents. We’ll see I suppose - surely take me on who I am today rather who I once was?

You’re a very forthright individual, so I’ll ask a question (I’m kinda using you as a proxy for other similarly situated guys). You’re a reformed bad boy who wants to be judged on who he is now - fair enough.

Would you judge a girl for having a past (no different than your own) or would you want to know if she did or did not have a past?

[badabing]

Re: Guys

I’d have no issue with a badgirl who is reformed - although I’d take offense at her keeping in contact with any dude shes had any sexual contact with in the past - all my lady friends so to speak are untraceable. As long as she ain’t done hard drugs I’m kool with it.

[Sehrysh]

Re: Guys

^ See, I can appreciate the balance in that perspective.

Sadly, I’ve met and guys who will talk about their, ahem extremely colourful past, say they were just sowing their oats and then insist that a girl shouldn’t judge them for it. Fair enough. But when the same guy follows it up with an expectation that their bride-to-be be as pure a driven snow - I can’t stand that sort of hypocrisy.

A person’s preferences are their right - but don’t seek something in the other person you can’t offer yourself.

[badabing]

Re: Guys

It’s mainly insecure guys who are like this. Once you’ve learnt how to play and manipulate a fiddle - why be insecure if the fiddle knows how to play you?

[Decent_6Chora]

Re: Guys

@tubelight

Guys who want to marry professionals/career women, what are you guys actually looking for? Money, trophy wives, showing off, please add …?

all of the above

PS: and on serious note, perhaps they are juts looking for educated girl who they can have meaningful conversations other than lawn suites prints and soney k kangan?

[tubelight]

Re: Guys

@Decent_6Chora

all of the above

PS: and on serious note, perhaps they are juts looking for educated girl who they can have meaningful conversations other than lawn suites prints and soney k kangan?

Define meaningful conversations? so non-professional girls can’t have meaningful conversations?

[TLK]

^ He used the word educated, not professional

[tubelight]

Re: Guys

@TLK

^ He used the word educated, not professional

Ok, my bad. So one can only have meaningful conversations with educated wives. I have seen girls who are not that educated yet they are smart.

The thing is why people always think that only educated girls can have a meaningful conversation & can be smart, which is not always the case, while those who are not that highly educated can’t.

Now define education for me. If education is required for kids taleem o tarbeeyat then as far as tarbeeyat is concerned Islamic education is enough for that may be but for a mother to teach other subjects & help kids with homework, she does need dunyavi eduaction, but again, which is my question, that besides having a degree some people are still dumb or lack teaching skills while some girls who don’t have fancy degrees on the other hand really do know how to teach mathematics, physics etc or help kids with homework.

I am not trying to devalue education, I am just saying why consider gals with fancy degrees worth having meaningful conversations with & smart while others not.

[Decent_6Chora]

Re: Guys

@tubelight

Ok, my bad. So one can only have meaningful conversations with educated wives. I have seen girls who are not that educated yet they are smart.

The thing is why people always think that only educated girls can have a meaningful conversation & can be smart, which is not always the case, while those who are not that highly educated can’t.

Now define education for me. If education is required for kids taleem o tarbeeyat then as far as tarbeeyat is concerned Islamic education is enough for that may be but for a mother to teach other subjects & help kids with homework, she does need dunyavi eduaction, but again, which is my question, that besides having a degree some people are still dumb or lack teaching skills while some girls who don’t have fancy degrees on the other hand really do know how to teach mathematics, physics etc or help kids with homework.

I am not trying to devalue education, I am just saying why consider gals with fancy degrees worth having meaningful conversations with & smart while others not.

There always are exceptions. When discussing topic this general, you talk about majority. Kill me for this but fact is that people (girl or guy) with better taleem-o-tarbiyat, can discuss more topics, more in-depth then the ones who dont. You are perhaps mixing WISDOM with EDUCATION?

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Guys

LOL, the number of times I heard the word “educated” being pronounced “ADJUCATED” this weekend.

Education is great. I advocate heavily for it. But it is getting used as a status symbol by desis.

There is something called “Parha likha jaahil”.

[tubelight]

Re: Guys

@Decent_6Chora

There always are exceptions. When discussing topic this general, you talk about majority. Kill me for this but fact is that people (girl or guy) with better taleem-o-tarbiyat, can discuss more topics, more in-depth then the ones who dont. You are perhaps mixing WISDOM with EDUCATION?

lol, I am not mixing wisdom with education at all.

ok lets say,just an example, husband is an accountant & girl is a doctor. Both are educated. Girl don’t know a thing about accounting & guy don’t know a single biology term. What meaningful, indepth conversations they will have?

[Pisiform]

Re: Guys

@tubelight

lol, I am not mixing wisdom with education at all.

ok lets say,just an example, husband is an accountant & girl is a doctor. Both are educated. Girl don’t know a thing about accounting & guy don’t know a single biology term. What meaningful, indepth conversations they will have?

they could talk about opening a private practice

[eastern11]

Re: Guys

@Pisiform

they could talk about opening a private practice

Spoken like a true " parha likha".

[stoppit]

Re: Guys

@eastern11

For what it’s worth , he’s an investment banker. I don’t care about all that but I am glad to see a Pakistani in that profession. Most Pakistanis think there is nothing more worthwhile than being a physician. As if other professions are not worth it. Even money wise many investment bankers make a lot of money. I am not running down any profession or endorsing anyone’s views. Just glad to see a well educated Pakistani out there.

It’s quite common in London - bankers, traders etc. My friend’s little bro came straight out of uni into trading and had everything by the time he was 25, including getting married to a girl who also happened to be a trader. badabing might be interested to know that now she has a child, she’s at home out of choice.

We have family friends whose sons are both in finance and they both married lovely girls when they were around 25 as well (I guess, once they have the money for a lavish wedding and responsibilities, why put it off). Neither couple had kids straight away but both wives are now stay at home mums.

Even my non-desi investment banker friend whose fiance is also working in finance, are working super hard now so that they can devote their time to their kids when they have them.

On balance, everyone has decided that other people can do their jobs… but no one else can bring up their kids.

[stoppit]

Re: Guys

@tubelight

lol, I am not mixing wisdom with education at all.

ok lets say,just an example, husband is an accountant & girl is a doctor. Both are educated. Girl don’t know a thing about accounting & guy don’t know a single biology term. What meaningful, indepth conversations they will have?

People like that aren’t particularly intelligent or educated then imo, if they don’t seek knowledge outside a boundary. They only know the one thing they have been trained to do.

[SaadiaB]

Re: Guys

A working woman with career would better understand her husband, his jobs/career and his needs, I dont get stay at home females if they dont have kids, dont work, like get on your feet and do something other than making rootis.

[Aaze]

Re: Guys

@SaadiaB

A working woman with career would better understand her husband, his jobs/career and his needs, I dont get stay at home females if they dont have kids, dont work, like get on your feet and do something other than making rootis.

• A wife doesn’t have to be a career-woman to understand her husband, his job or his needs. She just needs to be educated and have some sense of how the world goes around and if she loves and respects him enough, she will have no problem understanding his needs. Plenty of women don’t understand their husbands, career or not is the least of their problem.

• Why so? Why can’t a woman decide for herself whether she wants to work or not. Why does she need the excuse of kids to stay at home. If she wants to stay at home and make rotis, what’s so bad about that?

[gudiaali]

Re: Guys

@SaadiaB

A working woman with career would better understand her husband, his jobs/career and his needs, I dont get stay at home females if they dont have kids, dont work, like get on your feet and do something other than making rootis.

there is no guarantee that a working woman would understand her husband and his needs better than a non-working woman. even a totally “unparh” woman can understand her husband and his needs and a professionally qualified girl might not be able to.