Re: Guys...why wouldn't you live with you in-laws?
In islam it is not duty of women to take care of their in-laws because
just imagine if it was duty with how much force the women were obliged to fulfill their duty...
on the other hand there r even rights of neighbours,relatives.......so doesn,t that point that women should take care of their MIL and FIL....
if u r DIL today u r also SIL or inshallah will be MIL in future....
think wt a poor man will do for his mother if his wife don,t want to live with her MIL and he is only son....
neighbours have right but his mother doesn't have?.....
and i totally agree that the women who live with their in-laws should be respected ...
I think our people are programmed to think Bahu = Bad
I have never once stated that a man is not responsible for his mother and father. Not once so please stop putting words where they don't belong.
If he didn't care for his parents, I don't want him.
However, a woman was also born of a pair of parents. It was no less labor in the ER when she was born or less expensive to raise her.
A woman does not have to live with her in-laws. She is to respect them, care for them and be there for them. But by no means is she obligated to sacrifice her own marriage to satisfy her MIL. If she gives up her privacy to live with his parents...its commendable.
Re: Guys...why wouldn't you live with you in-laws?
Guys should get their own space before they get married, even if it's just a tiny apartment you will absolutely love the privacy, set up your own place, don't bring the girl into the same house as your dad and brothers - for me that would be soooooo awkward. How do people even do that?
Like what if your wife just gets up and she's wearing her sleeping cloths, messy hair etc..and she just wants to go into the kitchen to make some tea etc..how the heck is she going to do that in front of her FIL BIL MIL SIL etc..that's just kinda insane isn't it? What if she wants to talk on the phone and just be lazy and lie around the house, that's kind of weird to do in front of in laws isn't it? My wife does stuff like that all the time, I can't even imagine my parents siblings etc.being there, she would probably never come out of her room.
Everyone wants their own privacy.
All people sometimes just want some bloody privacy, I wouldn't want to run into my in laws first thing in the morning or all the time.
This whole Paki concept of everyone living together ie you and your bros and their wives, and kids etc..that's just insane and wrong. Get houses close to each other if you must, but please give yourselves and your wives some privacy.
Re: Guys...why wouldn't you live with you in-laws?
Just a reminder:
"guys should get his own place else should not get married" might fit western world but not everywhere. For example in Pakistan most of the people living under poverty line can only afford one house (many cant even do that). In such case a prerequisite of getting a separate house sound nothing more than ridiculous.
So whats the option that you would like to go with
1) Marry and live with in-laws for the life or until guy becomes capable of getting a separate house
2) Have a lot of 150000000000000 unmarried girls (and guys) because guy can not get a separate house.
There is so much to life outside Toronto, NY and London!
btw, before i can be labeled as 'jahil', let me state that I am all for the right of bahoo getting saperate house IF guy can afford that.
Re: Guys...why wouldn't you live with you in-laws?
[QUOTE]
Just a reminder:
"guys should get his own place else should not get married" might fit western world but not everywhere. For example in Pakistan most of the people living under poverty line can only afford one house (many cant even do that). In such case a prerequisite of getting a separate house sound nothing more than ridiculous.
So whats the option that you would like to go with
1) Marry and live with in-laws for the life or until guy becomes capable of getting a separate house
2) Have a lot of 150000000000000 unmarried girls (and guys) because guy can not get a separate house.
There is so much to life outside Toronto, NY and London!
btw, before i can be labeled as 'jahil', let me state that I am all for the right of bahoo getting saperate house IF guy can afford that.
[/QUOTE]
Thats exactly what I meant in my initial post, pity that it recieved a totally random and absurd interpretation from certain someone. :D
Re: Guys...why wouldn't you live with you in-laws?
Just a reminder:
"guys should get his own place else should not get married" might fit western world but not everywhere. For example in Pakistan most of the people living under poverty line can only afford one house (many cant even do that). In such case a prerequisite of getting a separate house sound nothing more than ridiculous.
So whats the option that you would like to go with
1) Marry and live with in-laws for the life or until guy becomes capable of getting a separate house
2) Have a lot of 150000000000000 unmarried girls (and guys) because guy can not get a separate house.
There is so much to life outside Toronto, NY and London!
btw, before i can be labeled as 'jahil', let me state that I am all for the right of bahoo getting saperate house IF guy can afford that.
Re: Guys...why wouldn't you live with you in-laws?
So most guys would rather stick to the norm than even think about living with the girls family. Interesting.
most girls would too .......... move to the guy's rather than have a ghar-damaad....... there was a thread about this.......and almost all womenz said they wouldn't want a ghar-damaad husband......
Re: Guys...why wouldn't you live with you in-laws?
Thats exactly what I meant in my initial post, pity that it recieved a totally random and absurd interpretation from certain someone. :D
j.k lol
So you were referring/speaking of the 30 year olds who cannot afford a house/living under the poverty line in yur initial post? Please, woman. You won't find such people scattered around here to be complimenting you for the inspirational posts you're busy making for them.
And guess what, in the major cities you and I or the most may have been brought up in (Khi, LHR, ISB mainly) at some point of their lives. I fail to believe the majority of the males that work there are totally incapable of renting out a one bed house/space for a mere $50. If most can earn $100 minimum a month, they sure can run a household alone (let aside the additional finances a woman can earn), provided if they actually wished to.
Get where the absurdity is stuck onto? If not, how about you provide (word your posts better to begin with) your own input and clarify instead of shooting a gun through another man's shoulder.
Re: Guys...why wouldn't you live with you in-laws?
Well people..i wouldn't ever live with in-laws. No question about it. I would also not live with my parents as well..no question about it either. Why? coz i would want me and my wife to live the way we want and how we want to raise our kids in the future. Secondly, we men need to understand that our women wouldn't have same affection or love toward men's parents and vice versa. And the best thing to do is live separately coz..trust me..the amount of stories and drama i hear among our family friends whose children live in a same house as their parents though they are married. Well lets just say it's not worth it.
But here is the dillema eh!..My mom, dad and baby sister live separately. And just in-case something happens to my dad god forbid...i will take my mom and sister under my care. Seemingly if my wife's mom, dad youngest siblings needs to stay with us..they can under our care. Life is all about give and take and be just. And that is my opinion exclusively!
Re: Guys...why wouldn't you live with you in-laws?
So you were referring/speaking of the 30 year olds who cannot afford a house/living under the poverty line in yur initial post? Please, woman. You won't find such people scattered around here to be complimenting you for the inspirational posts you're busy making for them.
And guess what, in the major cities you and I or the most may have been brought up in (Khi, LHR, ISB mainly) at some point of their lives. I fail to believe the majority of the males that work there are totally incapable of renting out a one bed house/space for a mere $50. If most can earn $100 minimum a month, they sure can run a household alone (let aside the additional finances a woman can earn), provided if they actually wished to.
Get where the absurdity is stuck onto? If not, how about you provide (word your posts better to begin with) your own input and clarify instead of shooting a gun through another man's shoulder.
You know I might consider sharing my views with you if you stop sounding so aggressive and overly offended about something I did not even mean in my post. Funny you were taking the dig at my oh so aggressive manner in your post and expecting me to come all gun blazing at you. Really disappointed to see your reaction.
Did you not do that in your previous post, absurd/misinterpreted bit? Or the one before where you were found generalizing “You lot can go whining about women and their miseries abroad” something?
Re: Guys...why wouldn't you live with you in-laws?
A married man and woman should live together, and if the husband insists on living with his parents then its IS the wifes duty to join him. Where would she live otherwise? Why did they get married? To live apart?
If however she can persuade her husband to live away from parents MIL etc then fine they can setup home happily.
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