Re: Guys - my engagement is off ( i think )
why were u expecting he will accept you? aisi kia khass baat hai app may?
btw what do you like in him that you worth him discussing? theek hai you put your 6 month, but i think you should declare it a first hand experience.
Re: Guys - my engagement is off ( i think )
If I am a guy, not interested in a girl. I would tell her straight up respectfully. However, i can understand your frustration Inspiron. Take care of yourself..and as you know already..everything happens for a reason.
Re: Guys - my engagement is off ( i think )
Xtron, I think it's time you got your UK visa sorted.
Re: Guys - my engagement is off ( i think )
inspiron- I think he know you are very much interested in him and he is trying hard to play....just relax and watch if he is really into you eventually things will work out coz guys like attention and if it's not meant to be then its not meant to be....just give him his space and dont try to contact him until he himself contacts you....my 2 cents.
Re: Guys - my engagement is off ( i think )
Re: Guys - my engagement is off ( i think )
**inspiron :hugz:
Allah has something better in store for you, iA.. :)**
Re: Guys - my engagement is off ( i think )
Inspi, remember, you were not very excited with this rishta and you were thinking hard and making up your mind to say yes. So its not that he would say NO to you. In the first place, you were not very sure of him. Remember, you didn’t feel anything for him initially. You might just be saying Yes because they have said Yes to you. This happens with us yaaar. Happened with me alot. Finding suitable rishtas are sooo difficult these days and because of the rejections girls face in arranged setting, there comes a time when we just say yes because the other party has said YES to us, irrespective of the fact that we don’t like them a lot, as if we don’t have any marzi and liking to be considered for our own marriage decision.
After unsuccessfully tyring in an arranged setting for a few years, we are kinda exhausted. When our parents refer some proposal to us, we might not necessarily like the proposal. However, we do tend to consider the rishta since we think our parents know the best and also because we want to get over it and want to give our parents peace of mind. We give ourselves reasons that we are not feeling for the guy because its arranged, we will start liking him when we are engaged/ married to him etc etc.
If they say No to you, remember, its Allah’s way to save you from a not-so-perfect rishta since Allah mian knew you were NOT going to say NO because you felt desperate, you wanted to get over this process, you wanted to be obedient to your parents etc. Don’t feel bad about it. If they No to you, start thinking about the things which made you not soo keen with this rishta. If, by any chance, they say yes, you should think again whether to proceed with him or not. I would not, if I were in your place.
**Be brave honey. You will be fine Insha Allah 
**
Re: Guys - my engagement is off ( i think )
I find it a bit strange that you were calling him "fiance to be" means he wasn't even your fiance or even bf. He dated you for couple of times and that's it. I'm sorry but I think you're overreacting.
Re: Guys - my engagement is off ( i think )
Thank You Ashy - you expressed everything I am feeling/going through so articulately into words and you totally get it!
Thanks everyone for the advice 
Zobia and Hareem - he had already said yes to his and my parents, the engagement dates had pretty much been set and I the words ’ baat pakki’ had been exchanged so yes he was my finace to be and obviously he wasnt my bf, thats not what happens in arranged marriages.
Re: Guys - my engagement is off ( i think )
If it aint meant to be, it aint meant to be. Deep breath, smile and move ON! :-) DON'T look back, chin up, pray 2 nafl to Allah to thank Him from saving you and positive thinking. Be strong, be confident, be brave and the most important thing is to have faith and everything will be fine. Tawakul in Allah swt will give you positivity and confidence and belief that it wasn't 'YOU'. It was Qadr/kismat, it was from Allah swt.
Also, I'm sure from your previous posts you were not head over heels crazy about him either. Maybe it's a good thing then, get married to someone you actually want to rather than compromise so much just because. It's not fair on him and it's not fair on you because you will always have resentment. HAVE standards, and don't just accept anyone because you think something better is not gonna come along. Increase your self worth.
Re: Guys - my engagement is off ( i think )
just relax! What you had been having for the past 6 months is what the guy is having now. Committment is a huge thing for guys normally and esp if it's all an arranged affair.
So in an arranged thing, sparks never ignite, we don't have cupid revolving over our heads. Like I said to you earlier too, in a judgement phase a person gets 'cold feet' too often and this is what is happening with this guy. At first he thought ok it's just a rishta. Now he meets you, has a great time but then when reality hits on him ...this woman would be my future wife ..again the committment phobia could have crept in. Just relax. Anything that happens at this moment would be the best for you InshaAllah ! Don't dwell too much on it if it's a no. Both parties at different times do get to say 'no' to each other ...and the reason is simple: there maybe alot of nice fish in the pond ..the problem is you got to choose ONE !
So please stop thinking that rejection meant something was wrong with *you *.. no, not at *all *hun! It's just all part of a process...and it's nobody's fault.
Re: Guys - my engagement is off ( i think )
Inspiron, have you heard anything more yet? Try not to worry, iA whatever happens will be for the best..
Re: Guys - my engagement is off ( i think )
No need to fret about such things. In the end, if it is meant to be it will be. You've done as much as you can, now leave the rest in Allah's hands.
Re: Guys - my engagement is off ( i think )
Hey Inspiron, if it doesn't happen, it was not meant to be, I am sure there is someone amazing out there for you. Your still at Uni, you have so much to look forward to. You can never please these guys - too traditional? thats a joke. If you have highlights your too westernised, if you adhere to your culture your too traditional - cannot win.
I hope your ok, stay strong. Whatever the outcome, don't take it too personally - when marrying someone, you look at the family, the person, your own charachteristics - its a multitude of factors.
Allah Thallah works in mysterious ways, if this doesn't happen theres a good reason. Say ShukerAllhumdillah and move on with head held high. Do not let it affect your confidence or who you are, you are a wonderful girl. You are educated, you have a loving family, great friends and great online fwends too. Keep strong and chin up x
Re: Guys - my engagement is off ( i think )
Xtron, I think it's time you got your UK visa sorted.
haha! ya?. Well my sister is coming to London for studies in mid of september so will plan on visiting London soon Insha'Allah.
Re: Guys - my engagement is off ( i think )
^ OOOOOOoooooo I hear wedding bells... or it could be my ears ringing either way
Re: Guys - my engagement is off ( i think )
I said it before you. I think jori will be awesome. but they(inspiron, xtron) never listen to me. 
Re: Guys - my engagement is off ( i think )
Two things:
Doesn't matter too much if a guy's parents really like you.....it's his feelings that matter more.
Unless you're wearing the ring on your finger......any discussion of having an engagment in the future doesn't really count for much. Actions are stronger than words. Even if you were to go around complaining that he broke off the "engagement"......his family could always counter back/defend themselves (not saying they would do this) by saying that they didn't give you a ring, there was no actual engagement ceremony that was witnessed by family members and friends from either side (who could be able to confirm the information)...and it would make you look silly.
A discussion or planning is not that concrete. In fact, if I were you, I wouldn't even go around telling people that my "engagement" broke off.....knowing how desi community likes to gossip and make a big deal of things and how they are more judgmental of a girl's past (even in regards to failed engagements, etc) when it comes to the rishta search. You guys were simply in the "Getting to know one another stage"........so just call it that.
Re: Guys - my engagement is off ( i think )
Thanks guys for all the advice :)
I am feeling better today and not too sad. I am still at uni having a busy day and keeping myself occupied then going home for the long weekend which will be so good! I cant wait.
Not looking forward to mum being emotional about this whole thing though.
RV- Oh no im not telling anyone The engagement got broken or whatever I didnt even tell anyone i was engaged. I think my thread title is misleading I think i meant to say - I am not getting engaged anymore ( i think)
What i was trying to say is that he told me everything was fine and he told me the day after the date that he was happy with everything and now his mum is calling my mum indicating that actually it could be a no from him and he lied about his age and he thinks im too traditional ( i still find this weird) but he is entitled to his opinion.
Obviously this is a big decision and he should be allowed to take time and freak out - just like i did. I just wish he would respect me and my parents and not ignore me you know, and why didnt he ask for time to think BEFORE agreeing to baat pakki, before saying yes to me and contacting me via text/ call everyday for 6 weeks. That part frustrates me.
I hate the idea of starting all over again to find someone. Also next time im going to take a slightly different approach in this arranged marriage scenario and ask my parents to allow me to have a little more control i sometimes think parents try and escalate things too much too soon maybe?
Have that horrible heart sinking feeling but i know Allah loves me and whatever happens I will eventually be fine.
Re: Guys - my engagement is off ( i think )
What i was trying to say is that he told me everything was fine and he told me the day after the date that he was happy with everything and now his mum is calling my mum indicating that actually it could be a no from him and he lied about his age and he thinks im too traditional ( i still find this weird) but he is entitled to his opinion.
Obviously this is a big decision and he should be allowed to take time and freak out - just like i did. I just wish he would respect me and my parents and not ignore me you know, and why didnt he ask for time to think BEFORE agreeing to baat pakki, before saying yes to me and contacting me via text/ call everyday for 6 weeks. That part frustrates me.
I completely agree! Unfortunately most people dont have the balls to play the game straight instead they are always being manuplative, keeping all options open. It's really sad but this mentality is not only evident in the rishta process only but otherwise too. That's why straight/blunt people have to carry the brunt but i think its worth it.